Know your value: Take back your confidence from difficult people

Click here for the quiz: amenkaur.com/quiz

A difficult boss, a toxic relationship, or people who never saw your worth can leave you doubting yourself, even when you know you're good at what you do.

So when someone finally praises you, you brush it off. Or it makes you want to cry. The problem isn't that you can't take a compliment. It's that difficult people chipped away at your sense of your own value, and your brain is still predicting from that old map.

In this episode, I share five lessons to help you know your value again and take back your confidence:

1. Why deflecting praise is a signal, not a flaw
2. How judgment and shame keep good things out, and why the people who can't see you may not have the capacity to
3. Why comparing your weaknesses to other people's strengths hides your real value
4. How self-compassion gets your problem-solving brain back (the one most people get backwards)
5. Why your value grows as you express it

Along the way, we look at the brain as a prediction machine, a famous experiment with kittens, and what the research says about judgment, stress and self-doubt.

Know your value. Express your value. Receive your value.

Take the three-minute quiz to see what's holding you back and where to start:

amenkaur.com/quiz

Want to work with me? Book a career diagnostic: https://amenkaur.typeform.com/diagnostic

Research mentioned:

Baumeister et al. (2001), Bad is stronger than good

Tangney, shame and guilt

Blakemore and Cooper (1970), visual development in kittens

Festinger, cognitive dissonance and social comparison

Dickerson and Kemeny (2004), stress and social evaluation

Gerber, Wheeler and Suls (2018), social comparison meta-analysis

Vazire (2010), self-other knowledge

Arch et al. (2014), self-compassion and stress

Crocker and Wolfe (2001), contingencies of self-worth

Vallerand, harmonious and obsessive passion

Arnsten, stress and the prefrontal cortex

David Linden, Johns Hopkins, and Lisa Feldman Barrett on the predictive brain