A Conversation about Abuse, Agency, and Mindfulness | Tanya Selvaratnam

A Conversation about Abuse, Agency, and Mindfulness | Tanya Selvaratnam

Before we dive in, a warning: this conversation includes descriptions of abuse and violence. As you may know, March 8th, the day we’re dropping this episode, is International Women’s Day. We have a story today about intimate violence, which has long been a problem for women around the world, and has only intensified during the pandemic. My guest is Tanya Selvaratnam, a writer and artist who I’ve known socially for many, many years. I was truly shocked when Tanya’s name surfaced in the media three years ago, in connection with the case of Eric Schneiderman. Eric was the celebrated Attorney General of New York State. He was also a regular on the local meditation scene. I knew Eric and Tanya were dating. What I did not know was that, behind the scenes, Eric was allegedly physically and emotionally abusing Tanya. She has now come out with a book, called Assume Nothing, which goes into searing detail about not only the alleged abuse, but also about how she flipped the script, regained her agency, helped bring her alleged abuser down, and how she has healed subsequently -- in no small part through meditation and therapy. Please note: If you or someone you know is suffering from abuse, you can find resources curated by Tanya at the “full shownotes” link below. We’d also like to provide more context about the allegations Tanya shares in this interview: When the allegations of abuse against New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman by Tanya and three other women were first made public in The New Yorker in May 2018, Schneiderman quickly resigned. In a statement at the time, he said, “serious allegations, which I strongly contest, have been made against me.” He also said, “While these allegations are unrelated to my professional conduct or the operations of the office, they will effectively prevent me from leading the office’s work at this critical time. I therefore resign my office.” After a six-month investigation, prosecutors declined to bring criminal charges against Schneiderman, citing legal impediments, including statutes of limitations. But the district attorney assigned to the case by Governor Andrew Cuomo also said that she “believed the women who shared their experiences” with investigators. In response, Schneiderman said, "I recognize that District Attorney Singas' decision not to prosecute does not mean I have done nothing wrong. I accept full responsibility for my conduct in my relationships with my accusers, and for the impact it had on them." I should also note that our team reached out to Eric Schneiderman and that he declined to comment for this episode. Two more items: First, remember to check out “In Plain Sight: Lady Bird Johnson,” a new podcast from ABC News, on Apple Podcasts (https://apple.co/ladybird), Spotify (https://spoti.fi/3ukYgoq), or wherever you’re listening now. Finally, we are looking for a podcast marketer at Ten Percent Happier. If you love this show, marketing, and building relationships, we would love to have you on the team to help us grow Ten Percent Happier and our future shows. Please apply at https://www.tenpercent.com/careers. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/tanya-selvaratnam-328

Episoder(904)

How To Find Joy In an Anxious World | Sara Bareilles and Dacher Keltner

How To Find Joy In an Anxious World | Sara Bareilles and Dacher Keltner

A conversation with singer-songwriter Sara Bareilles and psychologist Dacher Keltner, recorded at the New York Times Well Festival, moderated by Dan. All three of them have dealt with anxiety and continue to work with it, and they discuss the ways they look for joy and sustainable wellness.  Related Episodes: Sara Bareilles: Anxiety, Anger, and Art The Evolutionary Case for Kindness | Dacher Keltner This Scientist Says One Emotion May Be the Key to Happiness. Can You Guess What It Is? | Dacher Keltner   Get ready for another Meditation Party at Omega Institute! This in-person workshop brings together Dan with his friends and meditation teachers, Sebene Selassie, Jeff Warren, and for the first time, Ofosu Jones-Quartey. The event runs October 24th-26th. Sign up and learn more at eomega.org/workshops/meditation-party-2025.   Join Dan’s online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris

1 Aug 33min

Anxious? Confused? Powerless? A Four-Part Recipe for Staying Centered From a Buddhist Nun. | Ayya Anandabodhi

Anxious? Confused? Powerless? A Four-Part Recipe for Staying Centered From a Buddhist Nun. | Ayya Anandabodhi

Reclaim your power from the news, booze, shopping, or denial. Ayya Anandabodhi is the spiritual director of Pārāyana Vihāra, a monastic residence in Port Townsend, WA. She was raised in Wales, in the UK, and first encountered Buddhism in her early teens and began training as a nun at age 24. You can listen to some of her Dharma talks, here.    In this episode we talk about: What centering means – and how to do it in the midst of chaos or calamity (Including some very practical tips) The difference between centering vs equanimity  How to break out of old patterns  The power of pausing How anger is justified, but it doesn’t help A quick but deep dive into the Four Noble truths, a foundational Buddhist list We tackle the tricky topic of “true nature” We talk about the vital role of that treacly and often misunderstood term, compassion   Join Dan’s online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris

30 Jul 1h 5min

Stop Caring What Other People Think About You | Bruce Hood

Stop Caring What Other People Think About You | Bruce Hood

A happiness expert explains how to alter your ego, reduce self-consciousness, and boost “okayness”.    Bruce Hood has been a Professor of Developmental Psychology in Society at Bristol University since 1999, and for the past 5 years he has been concentrating on how to make students happier. He undertook his Ph.D. in neuroscience at Cambridge followed by appointments at University College London, MIT and a faculty professorship at Harvard.    In this episode we talk about: How to define happiness How to be happy in the midst of a shitshow How to shift from being egocentric (self-focused) to allocentric (interconnected)  The impacts of social isolation (and how to avoid it) The challenge of optimism (and how to overcome it) Finding a “flow state” through meditation  How to enhance your social connections Where “true, authentic happiness” comes from Controlling attention and rejecting negative comparisons  The role of nature And much more Join Dan’s online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Additional Resources:  The Science of Happiness: Seven Lessons for Living Well   To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris.

28 Jul 1h 7min

Mayim Bialik on: Anxiety, Imagination, Manifestation, Faith, and the Best Time of Day to Meditate

Mayim Bialik on: Anxiety, Imagination, Manifestation, Faith, and the Best Time of Day to Meditate

Dan welcomed his friend, the actor, neuroscientist and podcaster Mayim Bialik, and her co-host Jonathan Cohen to Substack with a live conversation. They talked about anxiety – one of many things they have in common – along with faith, imagination, manifestation (not in the way you might think), and what’s the best time of day to meditate. Find Mayim Bialik’s Breakdown wherever you get your podcasts, and they’re also on Substack.    Related Episodes: Mayim Bialik On: Anxiety, Anger, Believing in Both Neuroscience and God, and the Pressures of Being a Teen TV Star   Join Dan’s online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel   To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris

27 Jul 50min

A Radical, Counterintuitive Stress Reliever with Alua Arthur | Staff Picks

A Radical, Counterintuitive Stress Reliever with Alua Arthur | Staff Picks

We’re bringing you some of our favorite gems from the archives, as chosen by our staff. This week, we’re hearing from death doula Alua Arthur, as chosen by our managing producer Lauren Smith. Arthur helps people with all the non-medical aspects of dying – emotional, spiritual, and practical – and she has a simple question that she says simplifies decision-making and stress.   Full Episode:  How Thinking About Death Can Improve Your Life | Alua Arthur   Join Dan’s online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel   To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris

25 Jul 15min

Is It Possible To Improve Your Personality? The Science Says Yes. Here’s How To Do It. | Olga Khazan

Is It Possible To Improve Your Personality? The Science Says Yes. Here’s How To Do It. | Olga Khazan

Plus other intriguing questions answered such as: should you change your personality? What exactly is a personality anyway?   Olga Khazan is a staff writer for The Atlantic. Her new book is called Me, But Better.  In this episode we talk about: The definition of personality  The so-called big 5 aspects of personality and Olga’s attempts to work on them How to spice up your social life  The concept of conscientiousness, and how to get better at it An antidote to procrastination  Tips for reducing neuroticism  The role of psychedelics  Practical ways to make reasonable changes in the midst of a busy life Join Dan’s online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris

23 Jul 1h 7min

An Antidote to Overwhelm and Anger | Father Gregory Boyle

An Antidote to Overwhelm and Anger | Father Gregory Boyle

The attitude that can help you survive the Trump era.   Gregory Boyle is an American Jesuit priest and the founder of Homeboy Industries in Los Angeles, the largest gang-intervention, rehabilitation, and reentry program in the world. He is the acclaimed author of Tattoos on the Heart, Barking to the Choir, The Whole Language, and most recently, Cherished Belonging.   In this episode we talk about: His unique understanding of God—one that even agnostics can get behind How to build communities that counteract polarization  The practice of affectionate awe  Father Boyle’s antidotes to despair His own daily practice And much more Related Episodes: Can You Really Conquer Hatred Through Love? | Father Gregory Boyle   Join Dan’s online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Additional Resources:  Ordinary Mysticism: Your Life as Sacred Ground   To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris.

21 Jul 1h 1min

Am I Meditating Correctly? Am I Doing the Right Kind? | FAQ With Teacher-Of-The-Month Dawn Mauricio

Am I Meditating Correctly? Am I Doing the Right Kind? | FAQ With Teacher-Of-The-Month Dawn Mauricio

A lot of us have questions about our meditation practice, but we may not have anybody to ask. Am I doing it right? Which kind of meditation should I be doing? How do I choose? Today, our Teacher of the Month Dawn Mauricio breaks down some of those questions with some actionable suggestions you can take into your next meditation session. Join Dan’s online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris

20 Jul 18min

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