A Conversation about Abuse, Agency, and Mindfulness | Tanya Selvaratnam

A Conversation about Abuse, Agency, and Mindfulness | Tanya Selvaratnam

Before we dive in, a warning: this conversation includes descriptions of abuse and violence. As you may know, March 8th, the day we’re dropping this episode, is International Women’s Day. We have a story today about intimate violence, which has long been a problem for women around the world, and has only intensified during the pandemic. My guest is Tanya Selvaratnam, a writer and artist who I’ve known socially for many, many years. I was truly shocked when Tanya’s name surfaced in the media three years ago, in connection with the case of Eric Schneiderman. Eric was the celebrated Attorney General of New York State. He was also a regular on the local meditation scene. I knew Eric and Tanya were dating. What I did not know was that, behind the scenes, Eric was allegedly physically and emotionally abusing Tanya. She has now come out with a book, called Assume Nothing, which goes into searing detail about not only the alleged abuse, but also about how she flipped the script, regained her agency, helped bring her alleged abuser down, and how she has healed subsequently -- in no small part through meditation and therapy. Please note: If you or someone you know is suffering from abuse, you can find resources curated by Tanya at the “full shownotes” link below. We’d also like to provide more context about the allegations Tanya shares in this interview: When the allegations of abuse against New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman by Tanya and three other women were first made public in The New Yorker in May 2018, Schneiderman quickly resigned. In a statement at the time, he said, “serious allegations, which I strongly contest, have been made against me.” He also said, “While these allegations are unrelated to my professional conduct or the operations of the office, they will effectively prevent me from leading the office’s work at this critical time. I therefore resign my office.” After a six-month investigation, prosecutors declined to bring criminal charges against Schneiderman, citing legal impediments, including statutes of limitations. But the district attorney assigned to the case by Governor Andrew Cuomo also said that she “believed the women who shared their experiences” with investigators. In response, Schneiderman said, "I recognize that District Attorney Singas' decision not to prosecute does not mean I have done nothing wrong. I accept full responsibility for my conduct in my relationships with my accusers, and for the impact it had on them." I should also note that our team reached out to Eric Schneiderman and that he declined to comment for this episode. Two more items: First, remember to check out “In Plain Sight: Lady Bird Johnson,” a new podcast from ABC News, on Apple Podcasts (https://apple.co/ladybird), Spotify (https://spoti.fi/3ukYgoq), or wherever you’re listening now. Finally, we are looking for a podcast marketer at Ten Percent Happier. If you love this show, marketing, and building relationships, we would love to have you on the team to help us grow Ten Percent Happier and our future shows. Please apply at https://www.tenpercent.com/careers. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/tanya-selvaratnam-328

Episoder(910)

Sam Harris and Dan Harris Live Show

Sam Harris and Dan Harris Live Show

Neuroscientist, philosopher, best-selling author and podcast host Sam Harris teams up with Dan this week for a special podcast recorded in front of a live audience. Dan and Sam discuss a variety of topics including what meditation is and what it isn't, different types of meditation and they offer insight on meditation retreats. They also answer an array of questions from their live audience. This special program took place at the Skirball Cultural Center in Los Angeles on May 4th, 2018. Have a question for Dan? Leave us a voicemail at 646-883-8326. The Plug Zone Website: https://samharris.org/

6 Feb 20191h 16min

Mark Epstein, Combining Buddhism and Western Psychotherapy

Mark Epstein, Combining Buddhism and Western Psychotherapy

If it were not for this week's guest, Dan Harris may never have found meditation. Mark Epstein, M.D. is a psychiatrist and the author of a number of books about the interface of Buddhism and psychotherapy. Dr. Epstein discovered Buddhism at a young age and says he saw therapy as very Buddhist, making it a natural transition. He explains how the traditions, when used together, can lead to spiritual and psychological growth. Have a question for Dan? Leave us a voicemail at 646-883-8326. The Plug Zone Website: http://markepsteinmd.com/ Books: http://markepsteinmd.com/?cat=2

30 Jan 20191h 8min

Frank Ostaseski, What Death Can Teach Us About Living

Frank Ostaseski, What Death Can Teach Us About Living

Frank Ostaseski experienced death at a young age, losing his mother as a teenager and his father just a few years later. In his search for healing, he found meditation. With this as his foundation, Ostaseski would go on to become a pioneer in end-of-life care. He co-founded the Zen Hospice Project, the first Buddhist hospice in America, establishing a model for mindful and compassionate care and he founded the Metta Institute training countless healthcare clinicians and caregivers treating those facing life-threatening illness. He explains what he's come to learn about death, and life, through his experiences. Have a question for Dan? Leave us a voicemail at 646-883-8326. The Plug Zone Bio: https://fiveinvitations.com/about-frank-ostaseski/ Author, The Five Invitations: Discovering What Death Can Teach Us About Living Fully https://fiveinvitations.com/

23 Jan 20191h 26min

Ellen Hendriksen, Rising Above Social Anxiety

Ellen Hendriksen, Rising Above Social Anxiety

You remember that old commercial where the guys says, "I'm not only the Hair Club President, but I’m also a client."? That's kind of how Ellen Hendriksen sees herself. She's a clinical psychologist who helps millions calm their anxiety and be their authentic selves through her award-winning Savvy Psychologist podcast, and at Boston University's Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders. But she doesn't just help others, she too has suffered from social anxiety. Hendriksen explains the techniques she has developed to combat social anxiety. Have a question for Dan? Leave us a voicemail at 646-883-8326. The Plug Zone Website: https://www.ellenhendriksen.com/ Twitter: @EllenHendriksen Podcast: The Savvy Psychologist's Quick and Dirty Tips for Better Mental Health Author, How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety

16 Jan 20191h 4min

Oliver Burkeman, The Power of Negative Thinking

Oliver Burkeman, The Power of Negative Thinking

Oliver Burkeman writes about social psychology, self-help culture, productivity, and the science of happiness in This Column Will Change Your Life for The Guardian. In his writings, he challenges "The Power of Positive Thinking," and in fact argues for the benefits of contemplating worst-case scenarios. His new book, "The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking," explores the benefits of negativity, uncertainty, failure and imperfection. Have a question for Dan? Leave us a voicemail at 646-883-8326. The Plug Zone Twitter: @oliverburkeman Columns: https://www.theguardian.com/profile/oliverburkeman The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking https://www.amazon.com/Antidote-Happiness-People-Positive-Thinking/dp/0865478015

9 Jan 20191h 13min

Jeff Warren, New Year, New You

Jeff Warren, New Year, New You

With the new year upon us, it's the perfect time to help you make those resolutions stick. This week Dan Harris and his "Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics" co-author, meditation instructor Jeff Warren, listen to and answer your questions about how to begin a meditation practice, make it stick, and many other queries which may arise during the course of your practice. Have a question for Dan? Leave us a voicemail at 646-883-8326. The Plug Zone Website: http://jeffwarren.org/ Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics https://www.amazon.com/Meditation-Fidgety-Skeptics-Happier-How/dp/0399588949

2 Jan 20191h 15min

Ben Feder, Making Every Day a Sabbatical

Ben Feder, Making Every Day a Sabbatical

Ben Feder was the CEO of a tremendously successful company, but it was coming at great personal cost. Returning home from his worldwide business travels, he greeted his family, only to realize how disconnected he felt from them. For years he had sacrificed time with his family to focus on his work, but at this moment he decided something needed to change. He embarked on a year-long sabbatical, in a very big way. He gave up his job, pulled his kids out of school and moved his family from New York to Bali. He explains how that journey changed all of their lives. Have a question for Dan? Leave us a voicemail at 646-883-8326. The Plug Zone Website: https://benfederauthor.com/ Author: Take Off Your Shoes https://benfederauthor.com/product/take-off-your-shoes Twitter: @BenFederAuthor Facebook: @BenFederAuthor

26 Des 201848min

Paula Faris, Journey of Faith

Paula Faris, Journey of Faith

You may know Paula Faris as the former co-host of ABC's The View or Dan's former co-anchor on ABC's Good Morning America weekend edition. What you don't know is why she decided to leave these TWO dream jobs, and the role that meditation and her faith played in that life-altering decision. Have a question for Dan? Leave us a voicemail at 646-883-8326. The Plug Zone Check out Paula's podcast: Journeys of Faith http://abcn.ws/journeys

19 Des 20181h 13min

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