The Art and Science of the World’s Gooiest Cliche | Barbara Fredrickson

The Art and Science of the World’s Gooiest Cliche | Barbara Fredrickson

One of our primary missions on this show is to rescue vital ideas that have lapsed into cliches. There are so many important concepts out there that many of us might be tempted to dismiss because they are encrusted with cultural baggage or have been reduced to potentially annoying or sappy slogans. So, for example, we’ve talked a lot on this podcast about things like: hope, gratitude, and “listening to your body.” All of which can sound like the type of empty bromide that your spin instructor yells at you while encouraging you to pedal faster. But, in fact, these are all incredibly important operating principles for a healthy life. And, not for nothing, they are all backed up by hard science. So today we’re going to tackle what may be the oldest and gooieset cliche of them all: love. The word has been ruined, in many ways, by Hollywood and pop songs. For many of us, the mere mention of the word conjures images of Tom Cruise, with tears in his eyes, while the string music swells, declaring, “You complete me.” But in my view, and in the view of my guest today, love needs to be usefully defined down. In other words, we need to knock love off its plinth, and apply it to a much wider range of human interactions. We also need to think of love not as something magical that requires luck or money or looks, but instead as a trainable skill -- one with profound implications for our health. Barbara Fredrickson is the Kenan Distinguished Professor in the Department of Psychology and Neuroscience at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. She has written two books: one is called Positivity, the other is called Love 2.0. In this interview, we talk about how she defines love, based on her research; how meditation can help build this skill; how taking a few extra minutes to chat with people, even if you feel busy, can have psychological, physiological, and even professional benefits; and how to manage social anxiety as we emerge from our Covid cocoons. This episode is actually part one of a two-part series running this week on social connection. Coming up on Wednesday, we’ll hear from Marissa King, a professor at Yale who studies how to create social networks, even when it feels uncomfortable. And by social network, I don't mean something like Facebook. I mean actual networks of actual human beings that you see in person. She’s got a lot of practical and actionable advice about how to do that, even within the context of Covid. So be sure to listen in on Wednesday. One more item of business, and it is an invitation for you to participate in this show. In June, we’ll be launching a special series of podcast episodes focusing on anxiety, something I’m sure we’re all too familiar with. In this series, you’ll become intimately familiar with the mechanics of anxiety: how and why it shows up, and what you may be doing to feed it. And this is where you come in. We’d love to hear from you with your questions about anxiety that experts will answer during our anxiety series on the podcast. So whether you’re struggling with social anxiety, anxiety about re-entering the world post-Covid, or have any other questions about anxiety - we want to hear from you. To submit a question or share a reflection call (646) 883-8326 and leave us a voicemail with your name and phone number. If you’re outside the United States, you can email us a voice memo file in mp3 format to listener@tenpercent.com. The deadline for submissions is Wednesday, May 12th. And if you don't already have the Ten Percent Happier app, download it for free wherever you get your apps or by clicking here: https://www.tenpercent.com/?_branch_match_id=888540266380716858. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/barbara-fredrickson-341

Episoder(908)

How To Deal With Difficult Emotions, Difficult Feedback, and Difficult Parts of Your Own Mind | Diane Musho Hamilton

How To Deal With Difficult Emotions, Difficult Feedback, and Difficult Parts of Your Own Mind | Diane Musho Hamilton

Cross-training for your mind. Diane Musho Hamilton is an author, award-winning mediator, and teacher of Zen. She is the author of three books on conflict resolution, relationships, and communication. Her latest book is Waking Up and Growing Up: Spiritual Cross-training for an Evolving World, co-authored with Gabriel Wilson. Diane is one of many great teachers featured on Waking Up, a top-notch meditation app with amazing teachers and a ton of courses for all levels. If you subscribe via this link: wakingup.com/tenpercent, you’ll get a 30-day free trial—and you’ll be supporting the 10% Happier team, too. Full and partial scholarships are available. In this episode we talk about: What Diane means by spiritual cross training and waking up  Cultivating emotional maturity Foundations of Zen practice Integrating shadow and psyche The key aspects of living with purpose  The value of intention setting Ethical action and community Sign up for Dan’s newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Ten Percent Happier online bookstore Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes   Additional Resources:  Dan’s panic attack on live TV

16 Apr 1h 7min

Sam Harris On: Equanimity in Turbulent Times; Compassion for Difficult People; And Dualistic vs Non-dualistic Mindfulness

Sam Harris On: Equanimity in Turbulent Times; Compassion for Difficult People; And Dualistic vs Non-dualistic Mindfulness

An old friend (and my spiritual brother) discusses some of the most important things he’s ever learned.   Sam Harris is a neuroscientist, author, podcaster and the proprietor of Waking Up, a top-notch meditation app with amazing teachers and a ton of courses for all levels. If you subscribe via this link: wakingup.com/tenpercent, you’ll get a 30-day free trial—and you’ll be supporting the 10% Happier team, too. Full and partial scholarships are available.   In this episode we talk about: How to maintain equanimity in shitty situations  How to have compassion – or at least non-hatred – for people you disagree with politically  The illusion of free will and its relationship with compassion  The difference between dualistic and non-dualistic mindfulness The concept of having no head Why meditating with your eyes open can be super helpful And much more   Join Dan’s online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel   Additional Resources:  On Having No Head

14 Apr 1h 32min

Can You Be Kind Without Becoming Boring And/Or Weak? | A Question From “Mean Aunt Kate”

Can You Be Kind Without Becoming Boring And/Or Weak? | A Question From “Mean Aunt Kate”

We’re going to give you a taste of the so-called “renegade sangha” sessions on DanHarris.com, which is powered by Substack. In those sessions, Dan usually guides a meditation and then takes questions.    In this brief episode, you’re going to hear one of the best, funniest, most relatable questions we have received to date.   Sign up for Dan’s newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Ten Percent Happier online bookstore Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

11 Apr 9min

Buddhist Themes in The White Lotus, Explained | Josh Bearman

Buddhist Themes in The White Lotus, Explained | Josh Bearman

Dan deconstructs the Dharmic elements of the popular HBO show, with the co-host of The White Lotus Official Season 3 companion podcast. Joshuah Bearman is a writer and film producer in Los Angeles. He has written for Wired, GQ, Harper’s, Rolling Stone, and contributed to This American Life. Along with Jia Tolentino, Josh is the co-host of the The White Lotus Official Podcast. In this episode we talk about: How Josh became interested in Buddhism  How Mike White, the writer and creator of The White Lotus, became interested in Buddhism  Buddhist concepts and themes all three seasons of The White Lotus Buddhist notions of self and identity Some paradoxes and pitfalls of Buddhism The perils of pleasure seeking Craving certainty as a bulwark against anxiety  The importance of repetition  of simple Buddhist ideas that we are programmed to forget  The Buddhist concept of attachment The three jewels of Buddhism and the importance of relationships Related Episodes: Natasha Rothwell (White Lotus, How To Die Alone) On: Loneliness, Envy, People Pleasing, And Finding Your “Hell Yes” Michael Imperioli (From The Sopranos and White Lotus) Knows a Shitload About Buddhist Meditation  Holding it Together When Things Fall Apart | Pema Chödrön Pema Chödrön, Renowned Buddhist Nun, On Her One Non-Negotiable Happiness Strategy   Join Dan’s online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Additional Resources:  The White Lotus Official Podcast

10 Apr 1h 9min

I Want an Awakening Experience. How Do I Get It? | Henry Shukman

I Want an Awakening Experience. How Do I Get It? | Henry Shukman

They say enlightenment is always an accident. Here’s how to make yourself more accident-prone. Henry Shukman is a poet, author and Zen master in the Sanbo Zen lineage. He is founder of the Original Love meditation program, spiritual director emeritus at Mountain Cloud Zen Center and co-founder of the single-path meditation app The Way. His most recent books are Original Love: The Four Inns on the Path of Awakening and the Zen memoir One Blade of Grass.    In this episode we talk about: Henry’s awakening moment The meaning of the term “inn” We walk through the four inns We talk about loving your obstacles Whether finding a meditation teacher matters What koans are, and how they can enhance your practice   Sign up for Dan’s newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Ten Percent Happier online bookstore Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes   Additional Resources:  Henry's meditation app, The Way Henry's latest book, Original Love Henry's website

9 Apr 1h 9min

How To Be Sanely Productive | Oliver Burkeman

How To Be Sanely Productive | Oliver Burkeman

The liberation that comes from realizing that you’re never going to get everything done.   Oliver Burkeman is the author of the Sunday Times bestselling Four Thousand Weeks, The Antidote, and most recently, Meditations for Mortals. His work has also appeared in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Psychologies and New Philosopher. He has a devoted following for his writing on productivity, mortality, the power of limits, and building a meaningful life in an age of bewilderment.    Oliver is one of many great teachers featured on Waking Up, a top-notch meditation app with amazing teachers and a ton of courses for all levels. If you subscribe via this link: wakingup.com/tenpercent, you’ll get a 30-day free trial—and you’ll be supporting the 10% Happier team, too. Full and partial scholarships are available.   In this episode we talk about: What the term “imperfectionism” means The illusion of reaching a point where "everything's done" Why there’s liberation in seeing how finite we are  Why small, imperfect actions are more valuable than perfect plans Why overplanning is a kind of avoidance How to make decisions  The importance of finishing things Who you should develop a taste for problems Why effort doesn't always equal value Why we need to stop protecting other people’s feelings And the paradox of mattering immensely and not at all   Related Episodes: The Power of Negative Thinking  Time Management for Mortals   Join Dan’s online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel

7 Apr 1h 12min

Are You Letting Politics Make You Bitter Or Better? A Psychological Survival Conversation With CNN’s Van Jones

Are You Letting Politics Make You Bitter Or Better? A Psychological Survival Conversation With CNN’s Van Jones

Recorded in January 2025 during the week of the Presidential inauguration, this conversation with CNN commentator Van Jones is less about politics and more about how we react to politics. You’ll hear the questions that Van always asks himself before he goes on air, what he considers to be his purpose on earth, and how he thinks about the future.  This conversation was part of a special Inauguration Week series which featured daily gatherings of the “Renegade Sangha,” as Dan calls it, including guided meditations led by Dan, and interviews with thinkers to help us make sense of the moment. To join future live sessions, become a paid subscriber at DanHarris.com. You’ll also get cheatsheets and transcripts for every episode, plus access to a community of other folks who take this stuff seriously.  Join Dan’s online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel

4 Apr 21min

How To Suffer Less: Joseph Goldstein, Sam Harris, and Dan Harris on the Buddha’s Eightfold Path

How To Suffer Less: Joseph Goldstein, Sam Harris, and Dan Harris on the Buddha’s Eightfold Path

One of the foundational Buddhist lists—a kind of GPS for enlightenment.   Joseph Goldstein is a cofounder of the Insight Meditation Society and the Barre Center for Buddhist Studies, both in Barre, Massachusetts. He is the author of many books including, most recently, Dreamscapes of the Mind.    Sam Harris is a neuroscientist, author, podcaster and the proprietor of the Waking Up app.    This episode is the first installment of a new series on the Eightfold Path. The rest of the series is available on Waking Up, a top-notch meditation app with amazing teachers and a ton of courses for all levels. If you subscribe via this link: wakingup.com/tenpercent, you’ll get a 30-day free trial—and you’ll be supporting the 10% Happier team, too. Full and partial scholarships are available.   In this episode we talk about: The Eightfold Path, your GPS to enlightenment Generosity The importance of faith The wisdom of “I don’t know” mind Various kinds of right view Unpacking right view on the Buddhist path  Practical tips for cultivating right view Sign up for Dan’s newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Ten Percent Happier online bookstore Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

2 Apr 1h 56min

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