The Art and Science of the World’s Gooiest Cliche | Barbara Fredrickson
10% Happier with Dan Harris26 Apr 2021

The Art and Science of the World’s Gooiest Cliche | Barbara Fredrickson

One of our primary missions on this show is to rescue vital ideas that have lapsed into cliches. There are so many important concepts out there that many of us might be tempted to dismiss because they are encrusted with cultural baggage or have been reduced to potentially annoying or sappy slogans. So, for example, we’ve talked a lot on this podcast about things like: hope, gratitude, and “listening to your body.” All of which can sound like the type of empty bromide that your spin instructor yells at you while encouraging you to pedal faster. But, in fact, these are all incredibly important operating principles for a healthy life. And, not for nothing, they are all backed up by hard science. So today we’re going to tackle what may be the oldest and gooieset cliche of them all: love. The word has been ruined, in many ways, by Hollywood and pop songs. For many of us, the mere mention of the word conjures images of Tom Cruise, with tears in his eyes, while the string music swells, declaring, “You complete me.” But in my view, and in the view of my guest today, love needs to be usefully defined down. In other words, we need to knock love off its plinth, and apply it to a much wider range of human interactions. We also need to think of love not as something magical that requires luck or money or looks, but instead as a trainable skill -- one with profound implications for our health. Barbara Fredrickson is the Kenan Distinguished Professor in the Department of Psychology and Neuroscience at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. She has written two books: one is called Positivity, the other is called Love 2.0. In this interview, we talk about how she defines love, based on her research; how meditation can help build this skill; how taking a few extra minutes to chat with people, even if you feel busy, can have psychological, physiological, and even professional benefits; and how to manage social anxiety as we emerge from our Covid cocoons. This episode is actually part one of a two-part series running this week on social connection. Coming up on Wednesday, we’ll hear from Marissa King, a professor at Yale who studies how to create social networks, even when it feels uncomfortable. And by social network, I don't mean something like Facebook. I mean actual networks of actual human beings that you see in person. She’s got a lot of practical and actionable advice about how to do that, even within the context of Covid. So be sure to listen in on Wednesday. One more item of business, and it is an invitation for you to participate in this show. In June, we’ll be launching a special series of podcast episodes focusing on anxiety, something I’m sure we’re all too familiar with. In this series, you’ll become intimately familiar with the mechanics of anxiety: how and why it shows up, and what you may be doing to feed it. And this is where you come in. We’d love to hear from you with your questions about anxiety that experts will answer during our anxiety series on the podcast. So whether you’re struggling with social anxiety, anxiety about re-entering the world post-Covid, or have any other questions about anxiety - we want to hear from you. To submit a question or share a reflection call (646) 883-8326 and leave us a voicemail with your name and phone number. If you’re outside the United States, you can email us a voice memo file in mp3 format to listener@tenpercent.com. The deadline for submissions is Wednesday, May 12th. And if you don't already have the Ten Percent Happier app, download it for free wherever you get your apps or by clicking here: https://www.tenpercent.com/?_branch_match_id=888540266380716858. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/barbara-fredrickson-341

Episoder(905)

Are You Overcomplicating Your Life? | Kaira Jewel Lingo

Are You Overcomplicating Your Life? | Kaira Jewel Lingo

We’re in the midst of an exciting evolution of the overall 10% Happier project. In our quest to make this podcast more actionable – to help you operationalize all the game-changing ideas you encounter on this pod – we’re now offering guided meditations to accompany each full episode of the show, available to paid subscribers at DanHarris.com. For the month of August, those meditations will come from Kaira Jewel Lingo, a Buddhist teacher who spent 15 years as a monastic in the Plum Village tradition. In this bonus episode, you’ll hear our head of content, DJ Cashmere, in conversation with Kaira Jewel, sharing some of her fascinating backstory. From a communal Christian community in Chicago, to a Zen monastery in the south of France, to making her life as an independent teacher in New York, you’ll hear how the thread of “voluntary simplicity” runs through all of it.  Related Episodes: How To Keep Your Relationships On the Rails | Kaira Jewel Lingo A Buddhist Recipe for Handling Turmoil | Kaira Jewel Lingo Get ready for another Meditation Party at Omega Institute! This in-person workshop brings together Dan with his friends and meditation teachers, Sebene Selassie, Jeff Warren, and for the first time, Ofosu Jones-Quartey. The event runs October 24th-26th. Sign up and learn more here! Join Dan’s online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris

3 Aug 26min

How To Find Joy In an Anxious World | Sara Bareilles and Dacher Keltner

How To Find Joy In an Anxious World | Sara Bareilles and Dacher Keltner

A conversation with singer-songwriter Sara Bareilles and psychologist Dacher Keltner, recorded at the New York Times Well Festival, moderated by Dan. All three of them have dealt with anxiety and continue to work with it, and they discuss the ways they look for joy and sustainable wellness.  Related Episodes: Sara Bareilles: Anxiety, Anger, and Art The Evolutionary Case for Kindness | Dacher Keltner This Scientist Says One Emotion May Be the Key to Happiness. Can You Guess What It Is? | Dacher Keltner   Get ready for another Meditation Party at Omega Institute! This in-person workshop brings together Dan with his friends and meditation teachers, Sebene Selassie, Jeff Warren, and for the first time, Ofosu Jones-Quartey. The event runs October 24th-26th. Sign up and learn more at eomega.org/workshops/meditation-party-2025.   Join Dan’s online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris

1 Aug 33min

Anxious? Confused? Powerless? A Four-Part Recipe for Staying Centered From a Buddhist Nun. | Ayya Anandabodhi

Anxious? Confused? Powerless? A Four-Part Recipe for Staying Centered From a Buddhist Nun. | Ayya Anandabodhi

Reclaim your power from the news, booze, shopping, or denial. Ayya Anandabodhi is the spiritual director of Pārāyana Vihāra, a monastic residence in Port Townsend, WA. She was raised in Wales, in the UK, and first encountered Buddhism in her early teens and began training as a nun at age 24. You can listen to some of her Dharma talks, here.    In this episode we talk about: What centering means – and how to do it in the midst of chaos or calamity (Including some very practical tips) The difference between centering vs equanimity  How to break out of old patterns  The power of pausing How anger is justified, but it doesn’t help A quick but deep dive into the Four Noble truths, a foundational Buddhist list We tackle the tricky topic of “true nature” We talk about the vital role of that treacly and often misunderstood term, compassion   Join Dan’s online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris

30 Jul 1h 5min

Stop Caring What Other People Think About You | Bruce Hood

Stop Caring What Other People Think About You | Bruce Hood

A happiness expert explains how to alter your ego, reduce self-consciousness, and boost “okayness”.    Bruce Hood has been a Professor of Developmental Psychology in Society at Bristol University since 1999, and for the past 5 years he has been concentrating on how to make students happier. He undertook his Ph.D. in neuroscience at Cambridge followed by appointments at University College London, MIT and a faculty professorship at Harvard.    In this episode we talk about: How to define happiness How to be happy in the midst of a shitshow How to shift from being egocentric (self-focused) to allocentric (interconnected)  The impacts of social isolation (and how to avoid it) The challenge of optimism (and how to overcome it) Finding a “flow state” through meditation  How to enhance your social connections Where “true, authentic happiness” comes from Controlling attention and rejecting negative comparisons  The role of nature And much more Join Dan’s online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Additional Resources:  The Science of Happiness: Seven Lessons for Living Well   To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris.

28 Jul 1h 7min

Mayim Bialik on: Anxiety, Imagination, Manifestation, Faith, and the Best Time of Day to Meditate

Mayim Bialik on: Anxiety, Imagination, Manifestation, Faith, and the Best Time of Day to Meditate

Dan welcomed his friend, the actor, neuroscientist and podcaster Mayim Bialik, and her co-host Jonathan Cohen to Substack with a live conversation. They talked about anxiety – one of many things they have in common – along with faith, imagination, manifestation (not in the way you might think), and what’s the best time of day to meditate. Find Mayim Bialik’s Breakdown wherever you get your podcasts, and they’re also on Substack.    Related Episodes: Mayim Bialik On: Anxiety, Anger, Believing in Both Neuroscience and God, and the Pressures of Being a Teen TV Star   Join Dan’s online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel   To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris

27 Jul 50min

A Radical, Counterintuitive Stress Reliever with Alua Arthur | Staff Picks

A Radical, Counterintuitive Stress Reliever with Alua Arthur | Staff Picks

We’re bringing you some of our favorite gems from the archives, as chosen by our staff. This week, we’re hearing from death doula Alua Arthur, as chosen by our managing producer Lauren Smith. Arthur helps people with all the non-medical aspects of dying – emotional, spiritual, and practical – and she has a simple question that she says simplifies decision-making and stress.   Full Episode:  How Thinking About Death Can Improve Your Life | Alua Arthur   Join Dan’s online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel   To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris

25 Jul 15min

Is It Possible To Improve Your Personality? The Science Says Yes. Here’s How To Do It. | Olga Khazan

Is It Possible To Improve Your Personality? The Science Says Yes. Here’s How To Do It. | Olga Khazan

Plus other intriguing questions answered such as: should you change your personality? What exactly is a personality anyway?   Olga Khazan is a staff writer for The Atlantic. Her new book is called Me, But Better.  In this episode we talk about: The definition of personality  The so-called big 5 aspects of personality and Olga’s attempts to work on them How to spice up your social life  The concept of conscientiousness, and how to get better at it An antidote to procrastination  Tips for reducing neuroticism  The role of psychedelics  Practical ways to make reasonable changes in the midst of a busy life Join Dan’s online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris

23 Jul 1h 7min

An Antidote to Overwhelm and Anger | Father Gregory Boyle

An Antidote to Overwhelm and Anger | Father Gregory Boyle

The attitude that can help you survive the Trump era.   Gregory Boyle is an American Jesuit priest and the founder of Homeboy Industries in Los Angeles, the largest gang-intervention, rehabilitation, and reentry program in the world. He is the acclaimed author of Tattoos on the Heart, Barking to the Choir, The Whole Language, and most recently, Cherished Belonging.   In this episode we talk about: His unique understanding of God—one that even agnostics can get behind How to build communities that counteract polarization  The practice of affectionate awe  Father Boyle’s antidotes to despair His own daily practice And much more Related Episodes: Can You Really Conquer Hatred Through Love? | Father Gregory Boyle   Join Dan’s online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Additional Resources:  Ordinary Mysticism: Your Life as Sacred Ground   To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris.

21 Jul 1h 1min

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