Repairing Self-Abandonment: Anxious Attachment, Healthy Boundaries, and Creating Strong Relationships

Repairing Self-Abandonment: Anxious Attachment, Healthy Boundaries, and Creating Strong Relationships

On today’s episode Dr. Rick and Forrest explore self-abandonment, which occurs when we go against our authentic wants, emotions, and boundaries in order to serve others, meet external expectations, or protect ourselves emotionally. They cover where self-abandonment comes from, the psychological function it serves, and the relationship between self-abandonment and similar concepts like anxious attachment, low self-worth, and external referencing. You’ll learn how to set healthy boundaries, stop neglecting yourself, and become more secure from the inside out. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:00: Common features of self-abandonment 12:30: Facing the fear of our authentic self being seen 16:05: Facing shame and self-criticism 21:00: Self-referencing vs. referencing ourselves in relation to others 33:10: The belief that safety feels more critical than authenticity 40:55: Our relationship to nature, and joining with the defense 50:55: Relationships, openness to change, and bringing parts into awareness 55:20: Cognitive restructuring, and redefining our self-abandoning beliefs 58:50: Recap Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Get your stand on with UPLIFT Desk! Go to UPLIFT Desk.com/BEINGWELL for 5% off your order of one of their fantastic standing desks or office products. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. Start each day right with IQBAR’s bars, hydration mixes, and mushroom coffees. Just text BEINGWELL to sixty-four thousand (64-000) and get an exclusive offer of 20% off plus free shipping. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Episoder(486)

People Pleasing vs. Fawning: Why We Do It and How to Change

People Pleasing vs. Fawning: Why We Do It and How to Change

Dr. Rick and Forrest talk about what separates people-pleasing from the fawn response, and why those differences affect what actually helps. They trace the surprising history behind both ideas, explai...

7 Sep 1h 12min

Depleted Mother Syndrome: Why Moms Burn Out, and How to Recover with Jan Hanson

Depleted Mother Syndrome: Why Moms Burn Out, and How to Recover with Jan Hanson

Forrest is joined by his parents, psychologist Dr. Rick Hanson and nutritionist Jan Hanson, to discuss "Depleted Mother Syndrome:” the exhaustion, brain fog, and low mood so many mothers experience. T...

31 Aug 1h 17min

How to Feel Your Feelings with Simone Saunders

How to Feel Your Feelings with Simone Saunders

We’ve all been told to “feel our feelings,” but what does that actually mean, and how do you do it? Forrest talks with trauma therapist Simone Saunders about how to go from knowing your patterns to be...

24 Aug 1h 25min

The Psychology of Manipulation: How to Become Manipulation Resistant

The Psychology of Manipulation: How to Become Manipulation Resistant

Dr. Rick and Forrest explore how to become more resistant to manipulation, discussing terms like gaslighting, DARVO, and love bombing. They talk about why cynicism doesn’t make you immune to manipulat...

17 Aug 1h 10min

What’s The Problem With Therapy Speak? August Mailbag

What’s The Problem With Therapy Speak? August Mailbag

Terms like boundaries, gaslighting, triggers, trauma, and attachment are everywhere now. Dr. Rick and Forrest answer a listener question about the consequences - good and bad - of clinical language es...

10 Aug 1h 1min

Burnout: A Practical Guide for Normal People

Burnout: A Practical Guide for Normal People

Dr. Rick and Forrest explore burnout: what it is, why it’s so common, and what people can do about it. They begin by framing burnout as largely a structural problem that individuals are forced to mana...

3 Aug 1h 15min

The Grieving Body: How to Heal After Loss with Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

The Grieving Body: How to Heal After Loss with Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

We all understand the emotional impact of grief, but its effects on the body are often overlooked. Forrest is joined by clinical psychologist and researcher Dr. Mary-Frances O’Connor to explore the ph...

27 Jul 1h 28min

Healing from Parentification: When the “Gifted Child” Grows Up

Healing from Parentification: When the “Gifted Child” Grows Up

Some kids learn early on that the way to be loved is to be useful. They take on the emotional or practical care of their parents in a process known as parentification, and today Dr. Rick and Forrest e...

20 Jul 1h 15min

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