Red Flags: A Conversation with Shalom Task Force Featuring Esther Williams and Shana Frydman [Romance & Commitment 2/5]
18Forty Podcast13 Des 2022

Red Flags: A Conversation with Shalom Task Force Featuring Esther Williams and Shana Frydman [Romance & Commitment 2/5]

This episode is sponsored by Esther & Jerry Williams in honor of all those who support Shalom Task Force.

If you are in crisis please reach out to the Shalom Task Force Hotline at 888-883-2323.

On this episode of 18Forty, we have a deeply moving conversation on the topic of red flags in relationships. We speak with Esther Williams and Dr. Shoshannah Frydman from Shalom Task Force, and one person who extricated herself from an abusive relationship. The dynamics of relationships, whether healthy, unhealthy, or anywhere in between are complex, and we set out to better our understanding of the signs of relational abuse. Whether or not you have personally struggled with the issues we discuss here, we are all better off when we are more informed about the what and why of relational health, so tune in now.

In this interview, we discuss:

- What are the signs of an unhealthy relationship?

- How can we foster understanding and awareness of the dynamics of healthy and unhealthy relationship dynamics from an earlier age?

- What are the steps one can take to extricate themself or heal from a challenging relationship?

First interview starts at 10:35

The Shalom Task Force, Inc (STF) is a non-profit community organization that aims to combat and prevent domestic violence and foster safe and healthy relationships and families. The STF focuses on helping those in the Jewish community that may not have access to traditional services and that need culturally sensitive programming. The STF runs a free, anonymous hotline that helps individuals find the services they need, provides assistance through legal services, supportive counseling, and referral information, and offers prevention and psychoeducational workshops, trainings, and community programs to increase awareness of relationship abuse and promote healthy relationships.

Dr. Shoshannah Frydman, PhD, LCSW is the executive director of Shalom Task Force. Dr. Frydman is a trauma-informed therapist and advocate who has worked in the field of domestic abuse and family violence in the Jewish community for close to 20 years. Dr. Frydman co-chairs the UJA Taskforce on Family Violence, and was recently appointed to the New York City Mayor’s Office to End Domestic and Gender-Based Violence COVID-19 Response Group. Dr. Frydman previously served as the managing director of Family Violence and Social Services at the Met Council. Dr. Frydman received her MSW from the University of Maryland School of Social Work and her PhD at the Graduate Center of the City University of New York/Hunter College Silberman School of Social Work.

Esther Williams is the President of the Shalom Task Force and a past board member and executive vice president of the Orthodox Union.

References:
Shalom Task Force
“Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001” on 30 Rock
18Forty – Teshuva Series
National Domestic Abuse Hotline
The Patient
“The Quick Shift: Orthodox Jewish Women's Early Marital Sexual Experience” by Shoshannah D. Frydman
“Tradition and Transition. Orthodox Women's Experience with Kallah Classes and Early Marital Intimacy” by Shoshannah D. Frydman
The Vow
The Greatest Average American by Nate Bargatze
This Is Us
The NCSY box
Shalom Task Force Guides and Educational Materials
I'm so Confused, Am I Being Abused? Guidance for the Orthodox Jewish Spouse and Those Who Want to Help by Lisa G. Twersky
Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson
Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft
Invisible Chains: Overcoming Coercive Control in Your Intimate Relationship by Lisa A. Fontes
No Visible Bruises: What We Don’t Know About Domestic Violence Can Kill Us by Rachel Louise Snyder

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/18forty-podcast--4344730/support.

Episoder(235)

Joey Rosenfeld: Can Mysticism Heal Us? [Mysticism 1/3]

Joey Rosenfeld: Can Mysticism Heal Us? [Mysticism 1/3]

In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we sit down with Joey Rosenfeld, social worker and kabbalist, to talk about the differences between mysticism and rationalism and the roles they should play in our lives. Mysticism is often misunderstood and dismissed by rationalists without much thought, but what is mysticism? One might define it by what it’s not: reductionism, which combined with complexity is science. But what if we saw things as their whole instead of their constituent parts? Maybe we’re limiting ourselves by reducing the big picture to a list of atomic components; maybe seeing the unfiltered unity in all things would be freeing. Joey Rosenfeld began to learn Kabbalah in depth in yeshiva, when he was supposed to be dedicating his time to Talmud, and found its ideas to be profoundly life-changing. He does not fit the stereotype of the secluded, white-bearded mystic, as he is a social worker and addiction counselor. As someone with a unique window into people’s vulnerabilities, Joey sees deep connections between Kabbalah and psychology, particularly in the theory behind Alcoholics Anonymous, which drew from the work of Carl Jung. -What are the differences between rationalism and mysticism?-Are they compatible or incompatible?-What approach should people take when learning Kabbalah?-Are there parallels between mysticism and therapy?-And how is or isn’t mysticism suited for a modern audience?Tune in to hear Joey discuss the role that mysticism plays in his life, and how one can find peace in transcending rationality. For more, visit https://18forty.org/mysticism/#rosenfeld.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/18forty-podcast--4344730/support.

20 Okt 20201h 24min

Samuel G. Freedman: Can Jew vs. Jew Ever Become Jew with Jew? [Peoplehood 4/4]

Samuel G. Freedman: Can Jew vs. Jew Ever Become Jew with Jew? [Peoplehood 4/4]

In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we sit down with Professor of Journalism at Columbia and author, Samuel G. Freedman, to talk about dissent not as a cause of ugliness and divide, but of beauty and unity. Some would say that disagreement isn’t a bug of the Jewish community, but a feature. We have a rich history of debate in the Talmud and haven’t been able to shake this dubious quality even in the modern day United States. The internet has only exaggerated this, and while one can argue for the benefits of dissent, the fact that Jews seem embroiled in a perpetual state of debate remains. -Is debate a healthy state of mind for our community?-Should we be looking to avoid debate or embrace it?-Does dissent cause only divide or can it be used as a means of understanding the other members of our community?Tune in to hear Samuel discuss the roles that individual Jews play in the larger debate that is the Jewish community. For more, visit https://18forty.org/peoplehood/#freedmanBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/18forty-podcast--4344730/support.

29 Sep 202045min

Bethany S. Mandel: Jews without Community [Peoplehood 3/4]

Bethany S. Mandel: Jews without Community [Peoplehood 3/4]

In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we sit down with conservative journalist and cultural commentator, Bethany S. Mandel, to talk about the entrances and exits of her life, reconstructing Jewish identity, and creating a Jewish home outside of the Jewish community. Bethany has written for the New York Times and Washington Post, and now serves as an opinion columnist for the Forward, a contributor to the Washington Examiner's Beyond the Beltway blog, and is an editor at Richocet.com. She is a sharp writer and speaker about Jewish communal life, particularly about conversion, and has written about the impact of the Freundel affair on her life. -Can one be a member of the Jewish community while living outside the institutions that constitute the community?-Can you love Judaism, but not Jews?-How does one deal with disappointment in Judaism, particularly at the hands of a Jewish leader?-How can we build reconciliation and create a more empathetic community?Tune in to hear Bethany discuss the relationship between Jews and the Jewish community, and why her Jewish community is her home. For more, visit https://18forty.org/peoplehood/#mandelBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/18forty-podcast--4344730/support.

22 Sep 202043min

Laura E. Adkins: Is There Room for All Opinions? [Peoplehood 2/4]

Laura E. Adkins: Is There Room for All Opinions? [Peoplehood 2/4]

In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we sit down with Laura E. Adkins, the JTA’s opinion editor and an adjunct professor of journalism at Stern College for Women, to talk about how she stays grounded while engaging with so many disparate viewpoints. Many people live in a perpetual bubble, never allowing themselves to step too far from the lifestyle they feel is comfortable. They may only ever engage with straw man versions of others’ opinions, and therefore may never be exposed to a diversity of ideas and people. As a seasoned journalist - currently the opinion editor of the internationally-syndicated Jewish Telegraphic Agency - Laura is no stranger to subversive opinions and pluralistic attitudes. She is also a baalas teshuva, having forged her Jewish identity by the force of her own will. -How has she been able to stay grounded and centered in her identity as a person while engaging with so many different people and opinions?-How has her experience as a baalas teshuva contributed to this?-What was her journey as a baalas teshuva like?-How do groundedness and a plurality of opinions and information play a role in modern kiruv (Jewish outreach)?-And how should they play a role?Tune in to hear Laura reflect on her journey as a baalas teshuva, the state of kiruv, and the art of remaining true to one’s identity. For more, visit https://18Forty.org/peoplehood/#adkinsBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/18forty-podcast--4344730/support.

15 Sep 202046min

Rav Aaron Lopiansky: What Tribes do you Contain Inside? [Peoplehood 1/4]

Rav Aaron Lopiansky: What Tribes do you Contain Inside? [Peoplehood 1/4]

In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we sit down with Rav Aaron Lopiansky, Rosh HaYeshiva of the Yeshiva of Greater Washington, to talk about the challenges facing American Orthodoxy, life-long education, and value education.Rav Lopiansky speaks the language of the particular; much of his insight is situated for those in the Yeshiva-oriented Jewish communities, but his thought is important for all. As he navigates his understanding of the many roles we all occupy, he promotes a loving acceptance of diversity within the community, with the goal of appreciation for the whole Jewish people. -How can one person love a whole nation?-How can the love for a nation be a textured love, an appreciation that runs deeper than ethnocentrism or love of the similar?-Can deep engagement with one’s own cultural experience engender a deeper appreciation for other cultures?-Or do the lines of difference between one’s culture and others demand demarcation?Tune in to hear Rav Lopiansky discuss differentiating education for all ages, the challenges facing the Jewish people in 2020, and his thoughtful commentary on Jewish life today. For more, visit https://18forty.org/peoplehood/#lopiansky.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/18forty-podcast--4344730/support.

10 Sep 20201h 17min

Reflections Four Months After Launch

Reflections Four Months After Launch

18Forty launched in May 2020 and since then we’ve explored Talmud, OTD: Leaving Religion, Comedy, and Biblical Criticism. As we take a two-week break before exploring our next topic, we want to spend some time reflecting on what we’ve learned.Learn more at https://18forty.org/Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/18forty-podcast--4344730/support.

25 Aug 20201h

Biblical Criticism Conclusion

Biblical Criticism Conclusion

As we confront the questions that Biblical criticism has presented, we must ask ourselves how we can keep that transcendent, atemporal view of the Torah. Perhaps considering the seemingly temporal idiosyncrasies of the Torah can actually strengthen our appreciation of its timelessness. For more, visit https://18Forty.org/bible.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/18forty-podcast--4344730/support.

17 Aug 20208min

Gil Student: Where are the Lines?

Gil Student: Where are the Lines?

In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, David sits down with Gil Student, an infamous blogger who created Torah Musings, to talk about the credibility of modern Biblical scholarship. Gil grew up learning the Bible from the perspective of Biblical criticism, but its conclusions never jived with him. Though many are quick to note places where the Torah uses inconsistent characterizations as evidence that it has been written by multiple authors, he has always noted the implicit assumptions that these lines of thinking entail. Through his years developing and evolving opinions, Gil has experienced firsthand how subjectively we humans think, and he is loath to call any conclusion objectively true.-Are the conclusions put forth by Bible critics indisputable, or at least strongly convincing?-Do traditional commentaries have anything to say that’s of value?-How flexible can we be before crossing the lines denoted by Orthodox Judaism?-And how should we strike a balance between adhering to traditional curriculums and accounting for modern scholarship when teaching the next generations?Tune in to hear Gil discuss the different views on the Bible, from those of traditional commentators to secular Bible scholars. For more, visit https://18Forty.org/bible#student.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/18forty-podcast--4344730/support.

17 Aug 202053min

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