Emmi Polansky: Finding Agency as a Single Mother [Teshuva IV 4/5]

In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we talk to Rahel Bayar, founder of The Bayar Group, about abuse awareness and education in faith-based communities. Due to the sensitive nature of this conversation, at times, this episode does contain mature language and listener discretion is advised.Rahel is a former assistant district attorney and now runs The Bayar Group, which provides abuse training and serves as a consultant to organizations and institutions. Rahel helps us understand some of the difficult definitions we hear and discusses the importance of establishing boundaries in order to identify red flags. - Why don't we see abuse before it happens?- What can we do to establish healthy boundaries and prevent abuse? - What conversations should we be having with our children to prevent and identify abuse?Tune in to hear a conversation about education, boundaries, and abuse prevention. Interview begins at 5:01.Rahel Bayar is the CEO of the Bayar Group, a group that provides sexual abuse and harassment prevention training for schools, camps, and organizations to create lasting change. Rahel is a former sex crimes and child abuse prosecutor who has worked in the field of sexual misconduct and abuse prevention for over a decade. Rahel served as a Managing Director in the Sexual Misconduct Consulting & Investigations division of a global security and consulting firm, and spent many years as an Assistant District Attorney in both the Child Abuse/Sex Crimes and Domestic Violence Bureaus at the Bronx District Attorney’s office. Rahel is a sought-after speaker for her workshops on sexual misconduct, abuse prevention & detection, safe social media and electronic communication practices, boundary guidelines, and consent. Rahel joins us to talk about establishing healthy boundaries.If you or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence, please get help.If you are in immediate danger or need emergency assistance, call 911.Shalom Task Force Hotline: 718.337.3700; Toll Free: 888.883.2323 Jewish Board Of Family And Children’s Services Domestic Violence Services: 212.262.7655New York Legal Assistance Group (NYLAG): 212.613.5000References:Gittin 56BThe Bayar GroupLaw and Order SVUCSI“I Started the Media Men List” by Moira Donegan@Rahel.Bayar on InstagramYour Whole Body by Lizzie CharbonneauConsent (for Kids!): Boundaries, Respect, and Being in Charge of YOU by Rachel BrianKingdom Come by Mark Waid and Alex RossMaus by Art SpiegelmanBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/18forty-podcast--4344730/support.

17 Mai 202259min

In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we talk to ADA Aharon Schrieber about what actually happens when you call the police to report a domestic violence or abuse crime. Due to the sensitive nature of this conversation, at times, this episode does contain mature language and listener discretion is advised.Aharon is an assistant district attorney in the Bronx County Domestic Violence Bureau where he prosecutes domestic violence cases. Aharon shares the ins and outs of what actually happens once a crime is reported and how the case gets handled from a law enforcement perspective. - How does one practically go about reporting a crime to the police? - What can we do to understand and prevent abuse better in our communities? - What messages does Aharon hope to hear more from our community when abuse occurs?Tune in to hear a conversation about abuse, safety, and how we can do better as a community. Interview begins at 17:12.Aharon Schrieber is an Assistant District Attorney (ADA) in the Domestic Violence Bureau of the Bronx County District Attorney's Office, where he prosecutes domestic violence offenses and crimes between intimate partners. Aharon is a graduate of NYU School of Law, and is proud to be on the path that he is on, and to have been rejected from many educational institutions and employment opportunities. Tweets @baronaharon, mostly about Star Wars. Aharon joins us to walk us through the specifics of what happens when the police are brought into an abuse case. If you or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence, please get help.If you are in immediate danger or need emergency assistance, call 911.- Shalom Task Force Hotline: 718.337.3700; Toll Free: 888.883.2323 - Jewish Board Of Family And Children’s Services Domestic Violence Services: 212.262.7655- New York Legal Assistance Group (NYLAG): 212.613.5000References:Unholy Catholic Ireland : Religious Hypocrisy, Secular Morality, and Irish Irreligion by Hugh TurpinSafe HorizonLaw and Order: SVUThe Innocence ProjectSerial Podcast“An Unbelievable Story of Rape” by T. Christian Miller, ProPublica and Ken Armstrong, The Marshall ProjectInventing Anna“Maybe She Had So Much Money She Just Lost Track of It” by Jessica Pressler“Soft Power” by Joseph S. Nye“On Star Wars, Sunsets, and Hopes for a Better Tomorrow” by Aharon SchrieberBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/18forty-podcast--4344730/support.

10 Mai 20221h 27min

This series is sponsored by our friend, Danny Turkel. This episode is sponsored by Ari Bergmann in appreciation of Adina's work and scholarship.In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we talk to Rabbi Eric and Dr. Adina Yoffie about their journey as a family through ideological differences. Rabbi Yoffie is the President Emeritus of the Union for Reform Judaism and his daughter Adina is a Modern Orthodox editor and writer. As Adina journeyed to Modern Orthodoxy, she also had to navigate the implications of her observance to her Reform family, and how she could live by her newfound truth without disrupting her family life. - How does one best respect religious approaches other than their own?- How does one take a principled stand without making someone within their own family feel like their own life and their own practice does not have any standing?- How did Adina’s Orthodoxy affect Rabbi Yoffie’s approach to Reform Judaism? Tune in to hear a conversation about seeing legitimacy in another camp at the same time while holding on to one’s own beliefs and convictions. Interview begins at 16:09Rabbi Eric H. Yoffie (father) is a Reform rabbi, and President Emeritus of the Union for Reform Judaism. Since retiring in 2012, he has been a lecturer and writer; his writings have been published in The Huffington Post, The Jerusalem Post, and Haaretz. Dr. Adina M. Yoffie (daughter) is a tutor, editor, and writer living in Manhattan. She earned a Master's and PhD in European History from Harvard University and a Bachelor's in History from Princeton. She has published in the leading journals of her field and has received a Fulbright Award to Germany.Adina can be found at https://www.adinayoffie.comReferences:Mishna Halachos by Rav Menashe KleinThe Formation of the Talmud: Scholarship and Politics in Yitzhak Isaac Halevy's Dorot HaRishonim by Dr. Ari BergmannOp-Ed: Judaism is always ‘tikkun olam’ — and more by Eric YoffieKosher USA: How Coke Became Kosher and Other Tales of Modern Food by Roger HorowitzThe Rebbe's Army by Sue FishkoffThe French Enlightenment and the Jews by Rabbi Dr. Arthur HertzbergThe Fate of Zionism by Rabbi Dr. Arthur HertzbergJudaism, Human Values, and the Jewish State by Yeshayahu LeibowitzWords on Fire: The Unfinished Story of Yiddish by Dovid KatzBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/18forty-podcast--4344730/support.

19 Apr 20221h 9min

This series is sponsored by our friend, Danny Turkel. This episode is sponsored by our friend, Evan Goldenberg.In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we talk to Rav Moshe Weinberger, Rebbe of Kehillas Aish Kodesh and his son Asher, CEO of Swimply.Rav Moshe Weinberger is a chassidish Rebbe who raised his son Asher in the more modern world of the Five Towns. Join us as they discuss differing trajectories and expectations, and how fathers can learn from their sons despite the small differences between them. - How does a chassidishe father react to his son cutting off his peyos? - Does being the son of a Rav play a role in paving one’s own path and journey? - What does it mean to go back to the year 1840? Tune in to hear a conversation about chassidus shniya [renewed (or secondary) Hasidic commitment] and the evolution of fatherhood.Interview begins at 11:25.Rabbi Moshe Weinberger (father) is the founding rabbi of Congregation Aish Kodesh in Woodmere, New York, and is Mashpia at RIETS at Yeshiva University. Rabbi Weinberger is one of the leading spiritual leaders in the contemporary Jewish community, and is a key figure in the spiritual revitalization of the Orthodox world. Asher Weinberger (son) is the co-founder and COO of Swimply, an online marketplace for renting private swimming pools. Asher is the president of the Haredi Institute for Public Affairs.References:Sefer HaRokeach by Eleazar of Worms2.0 by Mishpacha MagazineMiniver Cheevy and Other Poems by Edwin Arlington Robinson Tzidkas HaTzaddik by Rav Tzadok HaKohen of LublinHaggadah - In the Heart of the Fire by Rav Moshe WeinbergerLikkutei Moharan by Rebbe Nachman of BreslovSapiens: A Brief History of Humankind by Yuval Noah HarariHararei Kedem by Rabbi Yosef Dov HaLevi SoloveitchikBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/18forty-podcast--4344730/support.

12 Apr 20221h 10min

This series is sponsored by our friend, Danny Turkel. This episode is sponsored by Camp Morasha in appreciation for Rabbi Rothwachs's tireless dedication to his family and ours.In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we talk to Rabbi Larry Rothwachs and his daughter Tzipora about the relationship of a father and daughter through distance while battling an eating disorder. Larry is the rabbi of a congregation in Teaneck, New Jersey, and sees himself as someone who is sort of in the business of helping people. His daughter Tzipora was diagnosed with an eating disorder as a pre-teen. As Tzipora’s disorder got more severe, she was distanced from her family—both physically and emotionally. During this time, she and her parents were forced to redefine and strengthen their relationship in ways they couldn’t have otherwise.- How can absence become a relationship in and of itself? - What did this journey teach Tzipora about being a daughter, about family, about her relationship with her father, and for Larry as a parent, how did this change his relationship, not just to Tzipora, but his relationship to being a parent in general?- How can parents and children remain connected even when so far apart? Tune in to hear a conversation about how distance can make a relationship grow stronger than it ever was before.Interview begins at 11:43.Rabbi Larry Rothwachs (father) serves as rabbi of Congregation Beth Aaron in Teaneck, NJ, and is the Director of Professional Rabbinics at RIETS at Yeshiva University. Rabbi Rothwachs has served as president of the Rabbinical Council of Bergen County and on the executive committee of the Rabbinical Council of America. In May 2016, he was named by the Jewish Forward among ‘America’s Most Inspiring Rabbis.’ Tzipora Rothwachs (daughter) grew up in Teaneck, NJ, and studied Business at Yeshiva University. After graduating from Yeshiva University, Tzipora Rothwachs began working as a property associate for JLL in New York City. She enjoys running and the outdoors and lives in Bergen County, NJ.References:The Fifth Son by Rabbi Menachem Mendel SchneersonTop Five Pictures of the Four Sons by Dovid Bashevkin The Animated Haggadah by Rony OrenFather of the BrideHere Without You by Three Doors DownLittle House on the Prairie Far From the Tree by Andrew SolomonBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/18forty-podcast--4344730/support.

5 Apr 20221h 31min

This series is sponsored by our friend, Danny Turkel. In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we talk to author Bruce Feiler about family narratives.Bruce has authored many books and articles, including longtime 18Forty favorite, The Stories that Bind Us, which argues that resilience in families is built by developing a strong family narrative. - Does The Stories that Bind Us deliberately have a Pesach theme? - What are the mistakes that people make in family dinner conversation? - Are there differences in the ways that we cope with different types of life transitions?Tune in to hear a conversation about Pesach and building family narratives.Interview begins at 16:27.Bruce is an American author of 15 books. Bruce’s book The Secrets of Happy Families: Improve Your Mornings, Rethink Family Dinner, Fight Smarter, Go Out and Play, and Much More is a moving exploration of the ways different families have built healthy homes. Bruce writes the "This Life" column in the New York Times and the PBS miniseries Walking the Bible and Sacred Journeys with Bruce Feiler. His powerful article “The Stories That Bind Us,” in which Bruce explores the non-linear narratives of families from many different walks of life, was an early inspiration for 18Forty’s series on Intergenerational Divergence. Bruce joins us to discuss the stories that families tell.References:Shel Ma'alah, Shel Matah: Seders Ideal and Real by Joanna SamuelsBelieve In Your Own Seder by Rabbi Judah Mischel Just One - The NCSY HaggadahHaggadah Encyclopedia TalmudicThe Mesivta HaggadahThe Stories that Bind Us by Bruce FeilerSin-a-gogue: Sin and Failure in Jewish Thought by David BashevkinLife Is in the Transitions: Mastering Change at Any Age by Bruce FeilerWalking the Bible: A Journey by Land Through the Five Books of Moses by Bruce FeilerThe Do-You-Know Scale by Marshall Duke and Robyn FivushThe Secrets of Happy Families by Bruce FeilerAbraham: A Journey to the Heart of Three Faiths by Bruce FeilerThe Council of Dads by Bruce FeilerThe Nonlinear Life NewsletterThe Storytelling Animal by Jonathan GottschallBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/18forty-podcast--4344730/support.

29 Mar 20221h 6min

This series is sponsored by our friend, Danny Turkel.In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we talk to the families from our previous series on intergenerational divergence to follow up and see what they’re up to now. As we revisit the previous interviews, we continue the conversations where we left off, drawing from the experiences and wisdom of our guests. • What advice would our guests give their younger selves during the difficult period that they went through?• What have our guests been up to and what has the feedback been since sharing their stories on 18Forty?• What is the role of disappointment and expectations in the idea of identity?Tune in to hear a conversation about family, about dissonance, and about unconditional love.References:The Europeans by Orlando FigesBird by Bird by Anne Lamott18Forty Interview with Rabbi Daniel and Aliza Grama 18Forty Interview with Rabbi Robyn Frisch Reform, Conservative, Haredi — it’s all in the family by Robyn Frisch 18Forty Interview with Rabbi Menachem Penner and Gedalia Penner Robinson18Forty Interview with Andrew Solomon Far from the Tree by Andrew SolomonBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/18forty-podcast--4344730/support.

22 Mar 20221h 11min

In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, David is joined by comedian Alex Edelman for a special Purim discussion exploring the place of humor and levity in a world that often demands our solemnity. A Modern Orthodox Jew from Brookline, Massachusetts, who’s “tried cocaine,” but has “never tried bacon,” Alex stars in the one-man Off Broadway show Just For Us, which has to be one of the only top-tier comedy specials to mention Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik.In this episode, we discuss: —How does a Modern Orthodox kid become a mainstream professional comic? —What makes particularly Jewish stories resonate so much with wider audiences? —Why hasn’t he left traditional Judaism amid his secular fame? Tune in to hear how a bona fide star holds onto both his humor and his values to bare to the world his authentic self. Interview begins at 26:56. Alex Edelman is a product of Massachusetts’s Maimonides School and has been featured on Conan and The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. In 2020, he was the head writer and executive producer of the “Saturday Night Seder” YouTube extravaganza, which raised over $3.5 million for the CDC Foundation COVID-19 Emergency Response Fund. His show Just For Us is running at the SoHo Playhouse in New York City. While nights tend to sell out quickly, tickets are available here: https://ci.ovationtix.com/35583/production/1107251. References: The World as Will and Idea by Arthur Schopenhauer Is It Funny for the Jews? by Jason Zinoman Here All Along by Sarah HurwitzMy Name Is Asher Lev by Chaim Potok For the Relief of Unbearable Urges by Nathan Englander Dinner at the Center of the Earth by Nathan Englander Kaddish.com by Nathan Englander Baseball as a Road to God by John SextonBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/18forty-podcast--4344730/support.

15 Mar 20221h 2min