Mother Mayhem: For Daughters of Narcissistic or Emotionally Limited Mothers20 Mar 2024

40. Rediscovering You: Reinventing Identity After Estrangement from Mom

Once you cut off contact with your mom, it can be hard to know who you are. What do you think, feel, and believe? What are your values?

You're so used to filtering them through your mother's perspective that it can be hard to know yourself.

How do you reintroduce yourself to yourself?

Start Here:

Mentioned in this show: Relationship to Self Journal Prompts

Addition questions for reflection included in today's show:

As you go through your day and you consider your interactions you had, check in with yourself:

How did you feel? Were you regulated in your body?
Did you feel seen and respected?
Did you feel safe?
Walk yourself through the same thing as you consider your decision making process for the day.

It might be worth your time to create a daily check in journal for yourself where you quickly ask yourself these questions and jot your answers down:

Did you feel good about your decisions?
Did you feel good about your interactions?
What did you need more of?
Less of?
Where did it get hard? When it got hard, what might you have needed or what might have made you feel more comfortable?
Were there any boundaries you might have needed to set?

When you look at the quality of your relationships, are you satisfied? Are there other toxic connections that might perhaps need to be toned down or removed in order to feel safer?

When you are exposed to new ideas or approaches to things, get curious with yourself. How do I feel about that? Does that feel true for me? What would feel more true?

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Episoder(171)

153. When Your Narcissistic Mother Turns the Family Against You

What happens when your narcissistic mother turns the family against you and everyone starts treating you like the problem?This week on Mayhem, we’re talking about what can happen when a difficult moth...

23 Sep 55min

152. Guilt and the Narcissistic Mother: What Do I Actually Owe Her?

Guilt can be one of the hardest parts of healing from a narcissistic or emotionally limited mother. How do you know when guilt means you’ve actually done something wrong and when it’s the result of br...

16 Sep 45min

151.Why Ordinary Things Can Feel Threatening After Narcissistic Abuse

What happens when something ordinary in your life suddenly makes your body feel unsafe, even when you know there’s no real danger?In this episode, we look at why trauma triggers can persist long after...

9 Sep 58min

150!! How to Take Up Space After a Narcissistic Mother

What does it actually mean to "take up space" after growing up with a narcissistic or emotionally limited mother?We’re talking about why taking up space feels so vulnerable for daughters, how childhoo...

2 Sep 21min

How to Stop Feeling Like a Burden

Do you feel guilty asking for help, putting yourself first, or even having preferences? If you've spent your life feeling like a burden, I’ve got you. In this episode, we're talking about the invisibl...

26 Aug 33min

148. Why Making Friends Feels So Hard After a Narcissistic Mother

Why does making friends and finding community feel so much harder after growing up with a narcissistic or emotionally immature mother? This week, we talk about how childhood trauma shapes connection, ...

19 Aug 43min

147. My Narcissistic Mother Started Therapy. Now What?

What happens when your narcissistic mother starts therapy? What if your emotionally immature or narcissistic mother seems to be changing after years of hurt, manipulation, or emotional abuse? How do y...

12 Aug 46min

146. Word Salad, Love Bombing, Gaslighting & DARVO: How to Stop Getting Pulled Into Narcissistic Mind Games

If you've ever walked away from a conversation with your mother feeling confused, doubting yourself, or wondering how you somehow ended up apologizing...I've got your back.Today we're unpacking some o...

5 Aug 36min