Navigating The Hormonal Double Whammy of Puberty and Perimenopause with Kathleen Kelava

Perimenopause and puberty happening in the same house is a topic that needs more airtime. So, we invited Kathleen Kelava to our podcast to shed some light on this important and common hormonal double whammy.

Kathleen is a registered psychologist and the owner of Pinnacle Psych. As a former police officer and a mom of three children with some exceptional needs, she understands how tough life can get. And how we can find the tough within ourselves to get going and rise above.

In this conversation, Kathleen teaches us that our ‘unskillful parenting’ moments are actually a gift to our children. She also reassures us that the hormonal chaos of perimenopause and puberty is not only normal, it provides some incredible opportunities to connect with our kids.

Connect with Kathleen.
Pinnacle Psych
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Here are some other things we talked about in our conversation, and where you can find them in the episode.

3:05 - Anxiety, Depression and Family Dynamics
Kathleen shares why she left policing to become a psychologist as well as her areas of practice.

7:27 - The Challenges of Parenting During Perimenopause and Puberty
We learn about Kathleen’s strategies for understanding and managing this phase of life and some of the common challenges perimenopausal moms experience. She covers the prevalence of guilt and shame for perimenopausal mothers.

Tools Kathleen likes:
The Artist’s Way - Julia Cameron: exercises with an evidence-based approach to understand our values and how we see ourselves.

Using Anxietycanada.com to craft a plan for your situation based on evidence-based practice.

10:55 - How to Choose Our Reactions
Kathleen shares some easy tips to allow us to place a gap between teenage hormonal chaos and our response. She also reassures us that we aren’t causing permanent damage when we parent unskillfully. And highlights how we can park our shame and guilt.

18:00 - Helping Ourselves to Help Our Kids
It’s not uncommon for our kids to trigger our unresolved issues or traumas, which can significantly impact our parenting. Kathleen addresses these ‘artifacts from the past’ and their impact on one’s identity. Mikelle shares her identity challenges that are like gasoline on the hormonal fire in her house.

25:00 - When to Seek Professional Help for This Hormonal Double Whammy
We don’t need an explicit diagnosis to be struggling. To suffer and to be human, and to have anxiety, those are normal things. This does not mean we are broken. There is no shame in getting help.

31:00 - Using Humor to Navigate Hormonal Changes
We discuss some of the fun ways we can address the hormonal chaos. Humor is such a potent tool and can be really connective. Owning it, naming it, and accepting it, but not caving to it - powerful stuff.

35:09 - Teens and Perimenopausal Women Are All Unique
The hormonal journey is different for everyone. This can be very isolating if you don’t have someone around you who gets it and is going through it at the same time. We talk about being our teens' safe space so that they learn to function out in the world.

What did you think of today's episode? We want to hear from you!