The Sunday Read: ‘How I Learned That the Problem in My Marriage Was Me’
The Daily9 Mar

The Sunday Read: ‘How I Learned That the Problem in My Marriage Was Me’

One thing I’ve learned from being married to my wife, Jess, who is a couples therapist, is how vast the distance is between the masks people show to the world and the messy realities that live behind them. Every couple knows its own drama, but we still fall prey to the illusion that all other couples have seamlessly satisfying relationships. The truth about marriage — including my own — is that even the most functional couples are merely doing the best they can with the lives that have been bestowed on them.

This past spring, Jess and I had the first of eight sessions of couples therapy with Terry Real, a best-selling author and by far the most famous of the therapists we’ve seen during our marriage. Real, whose admirers include Gwyneth Paltrow and Bruce Springsteen, is one of a small number of thinkers who are actively shaping how the couples-therapy field is received by the public and practiced by other therapists. He is also the bluntest and most charismatic of the therapists I’ve seen, the New Jersey Jewish version of Robin Williams’s irascible Boston character in “Good Will Hunting” — profane, charismatic, open about his own life, forged in his own story of pain.

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Episoder(2682)

Monday, Jan. 8, 2018

Monday, Jan. 8, 2018

Five days after the release of the tell-all book “Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House,” President Trump defended his mental health, calling himself a “very stable genius.” And Stephen K. Bannon, the president’s former chief strategist, backed away from calling Donald Trump Jr. “treasonous.” Why did a publication with little new reporting in it cause such a big stir? Guests: Peter Baker, chief White House correspondent for The New York Times; Jeremy W. Peters, a Times journalist who has reported on Mr. Bannon for years. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

8 Jan 201823min

Friday, Jan. 5, 2018

Friday, Jan. 5, 2018

After eight days, the largest protests in Iran in years appear to be winding down, calmed, at least in part, by the government. But a closer look at what ignited the outrage in the first place suggests that the country’s president may have lit the match. Guest: Thomas Erdbrink, the Tehran bureau chief for The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

5 Jan 201823min

Thursday, Jan. 4, 2018

Thursday, Jan. 4, 2018

A new tell-all book about the first year of the Trump administration has the White House in a fury. Its key source is Stephen K. Bannon, President Trump’s former chief strategist, who disparages the president and his children. Mr. Trump responded: “Steve Bannon has nothing to do with me or my presidency. When he was fired, he not only lost his job, he lost his mind.”Guests: Peter Baker, chief White House correspondent; Maggie Haberman, White House correspondent. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

4 Jan 201819min

Wednesday, Jan. 3, 2018

Wednesday, Jan. 3, 2018

On New Year’s Day, the North Korean leader, Kim Jong-un, surprisingly called for direct talks with South Korea. How could that dialogue shift the dynamics among the North, the South and the United States? And Senator Orrin Hatch of Utah, the longest-serving Republican in the Senate, is retiring. Is the way open for Mitt Romney’s return? Guests: David E. Sanger, a Times correspondent who has covered North Korea’s missile program for decades; Jonathan Martin, a national correspondent.For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

3 Jan 201822min

Tuesday, Jan. 2, 2018

Tuesday, Jan. 2, 2018

It’s 2018, and the investigation into Russian meddling in the 2016 presidential election is nowhere near complete — as the Trump administration had predicted it would be. Instead, new reporting on what prompted a federal inquiry in the first place has shed light on what Robert Mueller, the special counsel in charge of the investigation, was up to over the past year. Guest: Matt Apuzzo, who covers national security for The New York Times Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

2 Jan 201817min

Friday, Dec. 29, 2017

Friday, Dec. 29, 2017

The Daily is revisiting our favorite episodes of the year — listening back, and then hearing what’s happened since the stories first ran. Today, we return to the story of Shannon Mulcahy and other steelworkers in Indiana who lost their jobs when their factory moved to Mexico. Guest: Farah Stockman, a national correspondent for The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

29 Des 201740min

Thursday, Dec. 28, 2017

Thursday, Dec. 28, 2017

The Daily is revisiting our favorite episodes of the year — listening back, and then hearing what’s happened since the stories first ran. Today, we return to the story of two Americans, Abraham Davis and Hisham Yasin. Theirs is a story of vandalism and forgiveness. Guest: Sabrina Tavernise, a national correspondent for The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

28 Des 201735min

Wednesday, Dec. 27, 2017

Wednesday, Dec. 27, 2017

The Daily is revisiting our favorite episodes of the year — listening back, and then hearing what’s happened since the stories first ran. Today, we’re going back to a conversation that first ran this summer, two weeks after a white supremacist rally in Charlottesville, Va. turned violent and right after President Trump drew intense criticism by saying there were “some very fine people on both sides.” Guest: Derek Black, who had been poised to lead the white nationalist movement but then left, betraying his father, a former grand master of the Ku Klux Klan. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

27 Des 201736min

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