These thoughts kept me silent for decades
Get to know OCD2 Apr 2025

These thoughts kept me silent for decades

For years, Chrissie Hodges lived a double life— on the outside, everything looked fine. But inside, she was battling nonstop intrusive thoughts she didn’t understand and couldn’t share with anyone. Thoughts so taboo and terrifying, she assumed they made her a bad person.

It wasn’t until a suicide attempt and a lucky diagnosis that Chrissie discovered what she’d been living with all along: OCD. In this raw and revealing interview, Chrissie shares the reality of surviving taboo intrusive thoughts, the shame that kept her silent for decades, and the moment she realized she wasn’t alone—and never had been.

If you’ve ever been afraid to talk about what’s really going on in your mind, this conversation will remind you there’s nothing wrong with who you are — and there IS help available.

Chapters:
0:00 Intro
2:17 When Chrissie first noticed she had OCD
7:32 Made-up narratives to justify OCD
9:50 Sexual orientation OCD
14:53 Getting on medication and going to therapy
16:15 Finally discovering pure OCD
18:47 Trying therapy can be scary
22:05 How Chrissie dealt with feelings of shame
26:52 Other taboo-intrusive thoughts
32:53 The exact taboo thoughts Chrissie experienced
38:30 You’re not alone

Need help treating OCD? Our specially-trained therapists can help. Visit https://learn.nocd.com/podcast to book a free 15-minute consultation and explore options most suited for you.

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Episoder(239)

Why OCD Makes You Question Your Own Memories

Why OCD Makes You Question Your Own Memories

A memory feels a little fuzzy, and suddenly OCD wants an answer. Did that really happen? Did you miss something? Did you do something wrong without realizing it? What starts as a small doubt can turn ...

30 Aug 5min

Why OCD Makes You Feel Like You Have To Confess Everything

Why OCD Makes You Feel Like You Have To Confess Everything

OCD can take something as simple as honesty and turn it into a rule: if you don’t say every thought out loud, you’re hiding something. That pressure can make people feel like they have to confess intr...

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5 Pieces Of Advice That Can Make OCD Worse

5 Pieces Of Advice That Can Make OCD Worse

"Trust your gut” or “just stop thinking about it” — these might sound like helpful things to tell someone struggling with OCD, but they can actually make things worse. OCD already thrives on doubt, re...

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She Worked On Beetlejuice And Jurassic Park And Did Not Know She Had OCD

She Worked On Beetlejuice And Jurassic Park And Did Not Know She Had OCD

Lynette Eklund spent decades building creatures and effects for some of Hollywood’s most recognizable movies, including Beetlejuice and Jurassic Park. Behind that career, though, was something she did...

20 Aug 44min

My OCD Recovery Inspired Me To Become A Therapist

My OCD Recovery Inspired Me To Become A Therapist

Tandy Cyrus didn’t begin her career in mental health. She spent years working in juvenile probation, helping young people navigate difficult circumstances while slowly realizing she wanted to make a d...

16 Aug 16min

Thoughts Are NOT The Only Thing Intrusive About OCD

Thoughts Are NOT The Only Thing Intrusive About OCD

OCD isn't just intrusive thoughts. OCD can also create unwanted experiences that go far beyond thoughts — vivid images, uncomfortable feelings, intense urges, and even physical sensations that can fee...

13 Aug 5min

Why OCD Can Make You Feel Detached From Yourself

Why OCD Can Make You Feel Detached From Yourself

Feeling unreal, numb, checked out, or like you’re watching your life from the outside can be terrifying. For some people with OCD, that disconnection becomes another thing to obsess over — checking wh...

9 Aug 4min

What The Lindsay Clancy Case Gets Wrong About Intrusive Thoughts

What The Lindsay Clancy Case Gets Wrong About Intrusive Thoughts

As the Lindsay Clancy case continues to receive national attention, references to “intrusive thoughts” have caused understandable fear and confusion for people living with harm OCD, postpartum OCD, an...

7 Aug 14min

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