106. Longing for Love, Afraid to Be Seen: How Childhood Trauma Shapes Adult Relationships

106. Longing for Love, Afraid to Be Seen: How Childhood Trauma Shapes Adult Relationships

Why do relationships feel so confusing and hard?

If you grew up with a narcissistic or emotionally limited mother, you may have learned to associate closeness with danger and distance with safety.

This week,, we're talking about relational trauma, attachment wounds, and how childhood trauma shapes the way you show up in adult relationships.

We'll explore:

  • What relational trauma actually means and how it differs from single-event trauma
    How disorganized attachment can leave you stuck in a painful push-pull cycle
    Why your nervous system reacts to love, intimacy, and connection as threats
    What it looks like to relate from survival mode, and how to begin shifting out of it
    Why healing relational trauma requires relationship and how to do that without overwhelming yourself
    Gentle, trauma-informed steps to stretch your capacity for safe, connected relationships
    Whether you’re someone who over-functions in relationships, avoids intimacy altogether, or struggles to trust your own feelings, I get it. You’re protecting yourself in the only way your system knows how.

  • Resources:

  • Listen to Episode 105 first: Why You Feel This Way: Trauma, the Nervous System, & the Healing Journey





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    Episoder(171)

    153. When Your Narcissistic Mother Turns the Family Against You

    153. When Your Narcissistic Mother Turns the Family Against You

    What happens when your narcissistic mother turns the family against you and everyone starts treating you like the problem?This week on Mayhem, we’re talking about what can happen when a difficult moth...

    23 Sep 55min

    152. Guilt and the Narcissistic Mother: What Do I Actually Owe Her?

    152. Guilt and the Narcissistic Mother: What Do I Actually Owe Her?

    Guilt can be one of the hardest parts of healing from a narcissistic or emotionally limited mother. How do you know when guilt means you’ve actually done something wrong and when it’s the result of br...

    16 Sep 45min

    151.Why Ordinary Things Can Feel Threatening After Narcissistic Abuse

    151.Why Ordinary Things Can Feel Threatening After Narcissistic Abuse

    What happens when something ordinary in your life suddenly makes your body feel unsafe, even when you know there’s no real danger?In this episode, we look at why trauma triggers can persist long after...

    9 Sep 58min

    150!! How to Take Up Space After a Narcissistic Mother

    150!! How to Take Up Space After a Narcissistic Mother

    What does it actually mean to "take up space" after growing up with a narcissistic or emotionally limited mother?We’re talking about why taking up space feels so vulnerable for daughters, how childhoo...

    2 Sep 21min

    How to Stop Feeling Like a Burden

    How to Stop Feeling Like a Burden

    Do you feel guilty asking for help, putting yourself first, or even having preferences? If you've spent your life feeling like a burden, I’ve got you. In this episode, we're talking about the invisibl...

    26 Aug 33min

    148. Why Making Friends Feels So Hard After a Narcissistic Mother

    148. Why Making Friends Feels So Hard After a Narcissistic Mother

    Why does making friends and finding community feel so much harder after growing up with a narcissistic or emotionally immature mother? This week, we talk about how childhood trauma shapes connection, ...

    19 Aug 43min

    147. My Narcissistic Mother Started Therapy. Now What?

    147. My Narcissistic Mother Started Therapy. Now What?

    What happens when your narcissistic mother starts therapy? What if your emotionally immature or narcissistic mother seems to be changing after years of hurt, manipulation, or emotional abuse? How do y...

    12 Aug 46min

    146. Word Salad, Love Bombing, Gaslighting & DARVO: How to Stop Getting Pulled Into Narcissistic Mind Games

    146. Word Salad, Love Bombing, Gaslighting & DARVO: How to Stop Getting Pulled Into Narcissistic Mind Games

    If you've ever walked away from a conversation with your mother feeling confused, doubting yourself, or wondering how you somehow ended up apologizing...I've got your back.Today we're unpacking some o...

    5 Aug 36min

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