Bert Calls His Dead Grandma | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Bert Calls His Dead Grandma | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

SPONSORS: - Head to https://acorns.com/BEARS or download the Acorns app to get started. - Upgrade your wardrobe and save on @trueclassic at https://trueclassic.com/BEARS! #trueclassicpod - Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/bears. - Order a bottle of Por Osos and some killer merch online https://drinkporosos.com Hey look, it's your favorite podcast hosts, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer! This week in the cave Bert kicks things off with a brand-new joke he swears is the best thing he’s ever written, before diving into an emotional (and hilarious) story about his late bull mastiff, and the wild twist involving the family dog's long-lost sister. From there, the Bears riff on straight cat dads, Bert’s “sleep divorce,” VR porn addictions, childhood prank calls, and even the lost art of memorizing phone numbers. Bert even calls his dead grandma and chit chats with scam caller live on air. The episode only gets wilder as Tom and Bert review real OnlyFans submissions from fans, debate who should be the first official “2 Bears OF star,” and spiral into some truly insane pitches that only these two maniacs could come up with. Plus: speech impediments, Elmer Fudd racism, trolling stories, gambling breakdowns from NFL Week 1, and Bert trying to recruit Zac Efron into a shirtless golf fantasy with their new NIL athlete. This might just be the best episode of this show in a long ass time, don’t miss it. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 306 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:41 - Dogs & Cats 00:08:59 - VR Corn 00:17:30 - Memorizing Geography 00:23:24 - Memorizing Phone Numbers 00:31:35 - Prank Calls 00:37:59 - We Got Some OF Prospects 00:49:50 - Speech Impediments 00:53:45 - NFL Week 1 Gambling 00:59:51 - Bert Wants To Adopt Athletes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Episoder(311)

Ep. 30 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Ep. 30 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

On this episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer discuss Michael Jordan and "The Last Dance" documentary, dipping, and seeing Nirvana in concert. Bert issues an apology to people struggling with addiction, and the two of them debate the greatest all-time college football teams. Who's in YOUR top five? Let us know in the comment section below! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

18 Mai 20201h 25min

Ep. 29 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Ep. 29 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

On this episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer discuss Adele's weight loss, Bert's sober days, and college pranks. Tom shares the infamous "1 Man, 1 Jar " video with Bert. They also call Dr. Drew to discuss the possibility of nicotine fighting Coronavirus. The two of them wrap up by eating the world hottest pork rind. What's the spiciest thing YOU'VE eaten? Let us know in the comment section below! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

11 Mai 20201h 33min

Ep. 28 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Ep. 28 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

On this episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer discuss Bert's sobriety, the period of time in which people became attractive, and what the two of them are going to do after the quarantine is over. The two of them talk to Ryan Sickler, Dr. Drew Pinsky, and Joey Diaz on the phone. Tom also shares Norman Summerton's poutine video with Bert. What do YOU like on YOUR poutine? Let us know in the comment section below! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

4 Mai 20201h 25min

Ep. 27 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Ep. 27 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

In this episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer discuss vulgar tweets, how their parents differ, and music they hate. They also take a look at Bert's surprise birthday video for Tom. What's the best present YOU'VE ever been given? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

27 Apr 20201h 35min

Ep. 26 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Ep. 26 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

In this episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Bert Kreischer decides he's going to try to listen. Does he succeed? Tom Segura tells him about getting blacked out, playing football, and getting into stand-up. Bert shares stories about browning in his pants. Tom then calls Dr. Drew and asks about Bert's health. Tom and Bert wrap up by sharing what they learned about each other this episode. When was the last time YOU browned in your pants? Let us know in the comment section below! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

20 Apr 20201h 30min

Ep. 25 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Ep. 25 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

In this episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer discuss how they're spending the quarantine, Bert's weight gain, and Drake. Bert graces us with his singing and freestyle abilities, and discusses his Adam Sandler interview mishap. The bears also talk to comedian Ian Bagg, 90 Day Fiance producer Dan Adler, and sports analyst Pat McAfee. How are YOU passing time during the quarantine? Let us know in the comment section below! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

13 Apr 20202h 1min

Ep. 24 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Ep. 24 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

The 2 Bears Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer are back in the cave this week and it's a real special one. It starts off with Bert showing off his latest homage to Wood on social media. Is he good enough at photoshop to keep people from reversing what he put up? We then get into Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard, alleged slander on Sean William Scott, smearing brown on your significant other's nose, and some amazing raps written by Bert and performed by Tom. Wow. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

6 Apr 20201h 34min

Ep. 23 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Ep. 23 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

The 2 Bears are back in the Cave this week for ANOTHER extra episode to help you stay safe at home! First, remember to check out Bert Kreischer's special "Hey Big Boy" and Tom Segura's special "Ball Hog" on Netflix now! The bears start off with sharing a drinking game someone made on Bert's podcast habbits called "Bertus Interruptus." Can you survive it? Then Tom shares his story behind his new "Wash Your Hands" merch and the story of contacting the widow of the famed "Wood" who most of you have seen via text messages. Bert talks about his recent trip to the dentist and how much of an emergency his root canal was. He was sleeping with RAW ONIONS in his mouth! All new teeth for Berty Boy? Then Tom and Bert trade stories about getting fired (which makes Bert LOSE CONTROL) , sleeping around in their early days, and how good Bert is at listening/acting. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

30 Mar 20201h 38min

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