How Not to Ruin Your Relationships | Drs. John & Julie Gottman

Psychiatrist Dr. Mark Epstein, discusses his new book The Zen of Therapy, in which he explores how his decades of studying and practicing Buddhism has influenced his work as a therapist.  In this episode, Dan and Mark discuss: the immense value of developing a clear and warm relationship to your own dysfunction; anger; how much people can actually change; how Buddhism has influenced Mark's practice as a psychotherapist; and Mark’s formative relationship with the legendary spiritual teacher and ex-academic Ram Dass. This interview was recorded live as part of an online benefit for New York Insight Meditation Center and Cambridge Insight Meditation Center – two great institutions, both worth checking out and supporting.  Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/mark-epstein-412

17 Jan 20221h 11min

Why, from an evolutionary perspective, is it so terrifying for many of us to contemplate challenging our own tribe? How comfortable would you be hopping on social media and questioning the deeply held convictions of your closest friends and colleagues? Even if you don’t want to be public about it, are there ways to have more empathy for somebody whose views are different from yours? Robert Wright believes the future of civilization hinges on our ability to get better at this.  Robert Wright is the author of the bestselling book Why Buddhism Is True. He also writes the Nonzero Newsletter, is host of The Wright Show podcast, and his newest mission is something he calls the Apocalypse Aversion Project. This episode explores: how mindfulness meditation can help us overcome our biases; how we are often manipulated by natural selection; the concepts of confirmation bias and attribution error; the pain and joy of pushing back against the conventional wisdom of your own tribe; the difference between cognitive and emotional empathy; why Robert is a big believer in talking to people with whom he disagrees; and the importance of making friendships across ideological lines.  This episode is the second in our weeklong series about bias. If you missed Monday's episode with the excellent journalist Jessica Nordell, you can listen here.  Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/robert-wright-411

12 Jan 202254min

Jessica Nordell is a science and culture journalist who has written for the Atlantic and the New York Times. She earned a B.A. in physics from Harvard and an M.F.A. in poetry from the University of Wisconsin-Madison. Her new book is called The End of Bias, A Beginning: The Science and Practice of Overcoming Unconscious Bias.  This episode explores: why humans evolved to have biases; what happens physiologically when biases are challenged; why some of the most popular personal and institutional strategies for confronting biases do not work; the role mindfulness and loving kindness meditation can play in reducing bias; and the power of studying history. This episode is part one of a weeklong series the TPH podcast is doing about bias. Part two features Bob Wright, author of Why Buddhism is True, who has done some interesting work to challenge his own tribal instincts. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jessica-nordell-410

10 Jan 20221h

The final episode of our New Year’s Getting Unstuck Series features Emily and Amelia Nagoski. Our goal with this episode, as it has been with all the episodes throughout the series, is to arm you with new ways of thinking about where you might be stuck in your life and to give you new tools for getting unstuck.  Emily Nagoski has a PhD in Health Behavior and is the author of the hit book Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life. Her twin sister, Amelia Nagoski, holds a Doctorate in Musical Arts. Together, Emily and Amelia are the co-authors of the New York Times bestselling book Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle.  This episode explores: How Amelia was hospitalized for stress-related illness twice, and how learning the science behind burnout and emotional exhaustion helped save her life.  The three characteristics of burnout, and why women in today’s society are particularly susceptible to one of the characteristics: emotional exhaustion. The “human giver syndrome,” a term created by Emily and Amelia, which they say is very common among women, and why things can be especially hard for women. Why it’s important to understand the difference between addressing stressful circumstances in our lives and dealing with the actual physical experience of stress in our bodies.  A slew of evidence-based, ready-to-try-today interventions that people of all genders can use to “complete the stress cycle.” Content Warning: There are some references to sensitive topics, including sexual trauma, self-harm, domestic abuse, and violence.  January 7th is the last day to join and complete the Getting Unstuck Challenge, a free 14-day meditation challenge from Ten Percent Happier to help you push through whatever is holding you back. Click here to get started. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/emily-amelia-nagoski-409

5 Jan 20221h 13min