Jennifer Senior On: Grief, Happiness, Friendship Breakups, and Why We Feel Younger Than Our Actual Age

Jennifer Senior On: Grief, Happiness, Friendship Breakups, and Why We Feel Younger Than Our Actual Age

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It’s likely uncontroversial to assert that Jennifer Senior is one of our finest living journalists. She’s currently a staff writer at The Atlantic and before that she spent many years at the New York Times and New York magazine. Jennifer’s written on a vast array of topics, but she has a special knack for writing articles about the human condition that go massively, massively, viral. One such hit was a lengthy and extremely moving piece for The Atlantic that won a Pulitzer Prize. It was about a young man who died on 9/11, and the wildly varying ways in which his loved ones experienced grief. That article, called “What Bobby McIlvaine Left Behind,” has now been turned into a book called, On Grief: Love, Loss, Memory.


In this interview, we spend a lot of time talking about this truly fascinating yarn, but we also talk about her other articles: one about an eminent happiness researcher who died by suicide, another about why friendships often break up, and a truly delightful recent piece about the puzzling gap between how old we are and how old we think we are. Jennifer has also written a book about parenting, called All Joy and No Fun which we also reference a few times throughout.


In this episode we talk about:

  • Jennifer’s perspective on the Bobby McIlvaine story
  • Lesser known theories of grieving from Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
  • The work involved in finding meaning in loss
  • Why – from an evolutionary standpoint – we hurt so badly when we lose someone we love
  • Commitment and sacrifice
  • The puzzling gap between how old you are and how old you think you are
  • The power and perils of friendship
  • Why Jennifer has chosen to focus so much of her writing on relationships



Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jennifer-senior-583

Episoder(500)

Sara Bareilles: Anxiety, Anger, and Art (2021)

Sara Bareilles: Anxiety, Anger, and Art (2021)

This week, we're posting some of our best podcasts from the archives on a dragon many of us face internally – anxiety. The first episode of the series features Sara Bareilles.  Sara Bareilles is a singer, songwriter, composer, and actor who earned Tony and Grammy Award nominations for her Broadway musical Waitress. She also stars in the show Girls5eva, which is back for a second season this year on Peacock. Behind all of Sara's artistic and professional successes, there is a meditator who is fearlessly open and public about her struggles with anxiety and depression. In this conversation, she talks about: her history of anxiety and depression; the relationship between suffering and art; whether meditation might defang somebody's creativity; how she works with anger; and her relationship with social media. She’ll also share some of the backstories behind some of her hit songs. Just a note: This episode is a rerun from June 2021. There are some references that might seem a little out of date, but the content remains relevant.  Content Warning: This conversation features an exploration of depression and anxiety with one very brief mention of self-harm.  We’re re-launching our ten-day meditation challenge, called the Taming Anxiety Challenge, over on the Ten Percent Happier app. To join the Challenge, just download the Ten Percent Happier app today wherever you get your apps or by visiting tenpercent.com. If you already have the app, just open it up and follow the instructions to join!   Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/sara-bareilles-repost

24 Jan 202253min

The Science of Depression | Sona Dimidjian

The Science of Depression | Sona Dimidjian

This episode features one of the world’s leading experts in depression and how meditation can help. Dr. Sona Dimidjian is a professor in the Department of Psychology and Neuroscience and the director of the Renée Crown Wellness Institute at the University of Colorado, Boulder. This episode explores the seasonal impacts on depression, the research on how meditation can help depression, and what she calls “behavioral antidepressants.”   Content Warning: There are a number of references to suicide in this conversation.    Be sure to check out TPH’s newest show, Childproof, available wherever you get your podcasts.    Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/sona-dimidjian-413

19 Jan 20221h 2min

 The Zen of Therapy | Mark Epstein

The Zen of Therapy | Mark Epstein

Psychiatrist Dr. Mark Epstein, discusses his new book The Zen of Therapy, in which he explores how his decades of studying and practicing Buddhism has influenced his work as a therapist.  In this episode, Dan and Mark discuss: the immense value of developing a clear and warm relationship to your own dysfunction; anger; how much people can actually change; how Buddhism has influenced Mark's practice as a psychotherapist; and Mark’s formative relationship with the legendary spiritual teacher and ex-academic Ram Dass. This interview was recorded live as part of an online benefit for New York Insight Meditation Center and Cambridge Insight Meditation Center – two great institutions, both worth checking out and supporting.  Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/mark-epstein-412

17 Jan 20221h 11min

Are You Willing to Challenge Your Own Tribe? | Robert Wright

Are You Willing to Challenge Your Own Tribe? | Robert Wright

Why, from an evolutionary perspective, is it so terrifying for many of us to contemplate challenging our own tribe? How comfortable would you be hopping on social media and questioning the deeply held convictions of your closest friends and colleagues? Even if you don’t want to be public about it, are there ways to have more empathy for somebody whose views are different from yours? Robert Wright believes the future of civilization hinges on our ability to get better at this.  Robert Wright is the author of the bestselling book Why Buddhism Is True. He also writes the Nonzero Newsletter, is host of The Wright Show podcast, and his newest mission is something he calls the Apocalypse Aversion Project. This episode explores: how mindfulness meditation can help us overcome our biases; how we are often manipulated by natural selection; the concepts of confirmation bias and attribution error; the pain and joy of pushing back against the conventional wisdom of your own tribe; the difference between cognitive and emotional empathy; why Robert is a big believer in talking to people with whom he disagrees; and the importance of making friendships across ideological lines.  This episode is the second in our weeklong series about bias. If you missed Monday's episode with the excellent journalist Jessica Nordell, you can listen here.  Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/robert-wright-411

12 Jan 202254min

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