Why We're All Grieving - and How To Deal With It | David Kessler

Why We're All Grieving - and How To Deal With It | David Kessler

Most, if not all, of us are experiencing a cocktail of challenging emotions these days - whether in the background or in the foreground of our psyche. Speaking personally, I thought my primary issue was anxiety, but I had a vague sense that maybe it was more than that. Then I read an excellent, widely-circulated article that put a name to at least one aspect of my nameless, miasmatic dread. The article was from the Harvard Business Review, and the headline was, "That Discomfort You're Feeling is Grief." The article featured an interview with a grief expert named David Kessler, who explained that there are many flavors of grief. Some of us are grieving people we've lost, but millions more are grieving a way of life or a sense of security that seems lost - or we're experiencing anticipatory grief about an uncertain future. Not only was it helpful for Kessler to name this phenomenon, but he also had a bunch of excellent thoughts about how to manage it, including the exhortation to find meaning in this mess. In fact, that's the name of his new book: Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief. So we invited him on. Here he is: David Kessler. Where to find David Kessler online: Website: https://grief.com/ Social Media: Twitter: @IamDavidKessler / https://twitter.com/iamdavidkessler Instagram: @iamdavidkessler / https://www.instagram.com/iamdavidkessler/ Facebook: David Kessler / https://www.facebook.com/IamDavidKessler/ Books Mentioned: Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief / https://www.amazon.com/Finding-Meaning-Sixth-Stage-Grief/dp/1501192736 On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss / https://www.amazon.com/Grief-Grieving-Finding-Meaning-Through/dp/0743266293 Other Resources Mentioned: David's Online Grief Group / https://www.facebook.com/groups/DavidKessler David's Harvard Business Review Article / https://hbr.org/2020/03/that-discomfort-youre-feeling-is-grief Paul Denniston & Grief Yoga / https://griefyoga.com/ Bessel van der Kolk / https://www.besselvanderkolk.com/ Elizabeth Kubler Ross / https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elisabeth_K%C3%BCbler-Ross Elizabeth Kubler Ross Foundation / https://www.ekrfoundation.org/ Additional Resources: Ten Percent Happier Live: https://tenpercent.com/live Coronavirus Sanity Guide: https://www.tenpercent.com/coronavirussanityguide Free App access for Health Care Workers: https://tenpercent.com/care Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/david-kessler-240

Episoder(927)

Mario Batali

Mario Batali

World-renowned chef Mario Batali has 28 restaurants, 10 cookbooks, a daytime cooking show, a food emporium in New York City, and now plans for a food theme park. He also -- somehow -- finds time to keep a daily meditation routine. Batali says he started practicing mantra-based Transcendental Meditation (TM) six years ago after Jerry Seinfeld and his wife, Jessica, suggested he look into it. Batali said he now practices twice a day for 20 minutes, and that it's helped calm his temper.

29 Jun 201638min

Dr. Mark Epstein

Dr. Mark Epstein

Buddhist psychiatrist and author Dr. Mark Epstein has for years written about the overlap between Western psychotherapy and Eastern Buddhist philosophies. Epstein sat down with Dan Harris to talk about the impact meditation can have on the mind, both positive and negative, for those looking for an escape from suffering. He also went deep into the Buddhist concept of the "no-self," whether Enlightenment can be reached ... and what it might look or feel like. He has written numerous books on these topics, his most recent being, "The Trauma of Everyday Life." Epstein first discovered meditation in college and one of the "breakthroughs" he said that made the practice click for him happened while he was learning to juggle. "Once I got the three oranges in the air, my mind had to relax in order to keep it going and I understood, 'Oh yeah, this is what they're trying to teach me in mediation.'" Before he found meditation, Epstein said he was a very anxious person who worried all the time. Now after practicing meditation for more than 40 years, Epstein said he wouldn't know what he would be without it.

22 Jun 20161h 8min

Arianna Huffington

Arianna Huffington

Arianna Huffington has a multimillion-dollar media website that reacts to world events by the millisecond, she's a mother of two -- and yet she says she always gets a good night's sleep. Not only that, she says wants to help everyone else do the same. Huffington, the co-founder and editor-in-chief of The Huffington Post, has a new book -- her fifteenth -- called "The Sleep Revolution: Transforming Your Life One Night at a Time." In the book, she traces sleep deprivation back to the Industrial Revolution and argues that our culture's chronic need to be "plugged in" is hurting our health, productivity, relationships and happiness. She started researching the effects of sleep deprivation after she collapsed from exhaustion in 2007, two years after launching The Huffington Post. It was also around this time, Huffington said, that she went back to meditation, a practice she had first started at age 13 while living in her home country of Greece.

15 Jun 20161h

Adam Shankman

Adam Shankman

Acclaimed movie producer and director Adam Shankman is best known for his upbeat, family-friendly movies, including "Hairspray," "A Walk to Remember" and "The Pacifier," but behind the scenes, Shankman says he spent years grappling with substance abuse and self-loathing. Growing up in Hollywood, Shankman, who is openly gay, remembers being "an incredibly happy kid." But when he was three years old, he says, his parents set him up with a doctor who was doing a study on sexual identity. Unbeknownst to his parents at the time, Shankman says he was placed in "conversion therapy." When he was a teen, Shankman turned to alcohol and later drugs to quiet the "ugly voice" in his head. In 2012, Shankman says, he entered a "really dark" place and the following year checked himself into a month-long rehab program -- where he discovered meditation.

8 Jun 201641min

Emma Seppala

Emma Seppala

Success and happiness: Can you have one without the other? Many may assume that these two things are at cross purposes but Emma Seppala, the science director of Stanford University's Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education, argues that that assumption is actually dead wrong. The Ph.D. holder and author of "The Happiness Track" sat down with Dan Harris to tackle this subject -- a central theme in Dan's own book, "10% Happier."

5 Jun 201654min

Chade-Meng Tan

Chade-Meng Tan

Chade-Meng Tan was employee No. 107 at Google. But the software engineer's career took a turn when he began teaching meditation to the company's employees and executives, adopting the job title of "Jolly Good Fellow." While he's no longer at Google, Meng -- as everyone calls him -- continues to meditate and has written a new book, "Joy on Demand," detailing how anyone can access joy through meditation.

1 Jun 201653min

Chodo and Koshin

Chodo and Koshin

Thinking about death can be supremely difficult. Many of us try not to think about it at all – until we have no choice. But two Zen Buddhist monks are using meditation, and a generous dose of humor, to show people that the dying process does not have to be scary, and can even be uplifting. Sensei Robert Chodo Campbell and Sensei Koshin Paley Ellison are the co-founders of the New York Center for Contemplative Care, and have trained doctors, nurses, hospice care workers, and social workers to incorporate meditation and caring into their bedside manner with patients, and in their relationships with loved ones. The duo also teaches people to embrace death’s inevitability as push to live a fulfilling life – Zen Buddhist practice forces followers to look at this reality repeatedly – and how to treat a dying loved one with compassion instead of fear. Chodo and Kosin are the authors of the new book, "Awake at the Bedside: Teachings on Palliative & End of Life Care."

25 Mai 20161h 6min

Ali Smith

Ali Smith

Ali Smith goes into some of the toughest neighborhoods in one of the toughest cities in America, and teaches yoga and meditation to troubled and at-risk school kids. And the results have been incredible. Smith, a certified yoga instructor, is the co-founder and executive director of the Holistic Life Foundation. His workshops and after-school programs reach approximately 4,500 kids every week – and that number only continues to grow.

18 Mai 201648min

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