White People, Drop the Shame and Get Curious | Shelly Graf

How do you find hope in a lifetime that has experienced more trauma than most? Guest Jonathan Van Ness says that the key is to stay curious and focus on happiness and joy, even if it's just in a tiny corner. Jonathan Van Ness is a hairstylist by trade and best known as one of the hosts of the Netflix series Queer Eye. He is also the author of Love That Story and the New York Times bestselling memoir Over the Top, and the host of the podcast Getting Curious with Jonathan Van Ness. In this episode we talk about: The universality of processing grief What a "window of tolerance" means Getting curious about shame Body dysmorphia JVN's complex and contradictory feelings about shopping What "parts therapy" or Internal Family Systems therapy is Setting boundaries Connecting and cultivating joy Content Warning: Explicit language and mentions of sexual abuse, substance amuse, body dysmorphia, and references to sex. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jonathan-van-ness-447

9 Mai 202244min

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- There is an unstoppable flow of gain and loss within our lives. Processing this flow helps us to develop equanimity. In this conversation, Pulitzer Prize-winner and New Yorker staff writer Kathryn Schulz discusses her new book Lost and Found: A Memoir, in which she explores experiencing both a huge loss anda huge gain, and how to live in a world where both happiness and pain commingle. In this episode we talk about: How humans experience grief A gift you can give to the grieving Why she loves the clichés that remind us to enjoy the moment Her broad understanding of the term "loss" Why the key word in 'lost and found' is "and" What she's learned about compromising in relationships Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/kathryn-schulz-449

9 Mai 202259min

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- How does hope work? In this episode from the archives, Rutgers University clinical psychologist Dr. Jacqueline Mattis discusses hope from a scientific perspective and how we can cultivate it. Dr. Mattis, who is also a Dean of faculty at Rutgers, did not start her career wanting to study hope. She started out studying spirituality and religiosity, specifically concentrating her field work and interviews in African-American and Afri-Caribbean urban communities. She wanted to know why people living under high stress conditions so often choose to be good and compassionate. And that research ultimately led her to hope. In this episode we talk about: How her family history influenced her relationship to optimism and faith The difference between spirituality and religiosity The benefits of hope and skills to cultivate it The ways hope can go wrong And the benefits of denial Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jacqueline-mattis-340-repost

4 Mai 20221h 9min

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- If you're trying to improve your sleep, thinking about doing so right before you get into bed might not be the best approach. Dr. Sara Mednick, is a cognitive neuroscientist at the University of California, Irvine, and the author of the new book The Power of the Downstate. This episode is part of our month-long "Mental Health Reboot" series to mark Mental Health Awareness Month. According to her research, Dr. Mednick says that we need to take a more holistic approach to getting better sleep, and that sleep is just one of the ways that our bodies rest and restore. In this conversation, we talk about: The nuances of napping Dr. Mednick's definition of the "downstate" Whether there are practices that can compensate for poor sleep Why heart rate variability is an important measurement of health Why sex is so helpful for sleep And when to take melatonin to best effect Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/sara-mednick-445

27 Apr 202252min

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Sleep may be the apex predator of healthy habits, so why are so many of us getting terrible sleep? Guest Diane Macedo launched a very detailed personal investigation in order to fix her sleeping habits and joins us for the first episode of a month-long "Mental Health Reboot" series we're doing to mark Mental Health Awareness Month. Diane Macedo is the author of the new book The Sleep Fix: Practical, Proven, and Surprising Solutions for Insomnia, Snoring, Shift Work, and More. As an ABC News anchor and correspondent, she appears on Good Morning America, World News Tonight, and Nightline. She's also the daytime anchor for ABC News Live. In this episode we talk about: Key signs that you're not getting enough sleep Do sleeping pills really work When and how to find a sleep specialist How to deal with performance anxiety around sleep The difference between sleep deprivation and insomnia Mindfulness and sleep And the biggest sleep myths Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/diane-macedo-444

25 Apr 20221h 4min

Can you become happier, more balanced, and practice equanimity without losing your edge? Guest Kamala Masters was one of the teachers at Dan's first ever meditation retreat. In this episode she dives into how to develop equanimity and shares her story of learning how to practice meditation during her everyday life while raising three children on her own. Kamala Masters has been meditating since the 1970s, first with Anagarika Munindra, who was Joseph Goldstein's first teacher, and then with the Burmese master Sayadaw U Pandita with whom she twice temporarily ordained as a Buddhist nun. More recently, she's been training with another Burmese master we've talked about here on the show, Sayadaw U Tejaniya. She is a Guiding Teacher at the Insight Meditation Society, and the co-founder of the Vipassana Metta Foundation, which developed the Maui Dharma Sanctuary. In this conversation we talk about: What is equanimity? The most common misconception about equanimity The near and far enemies of equanimity The power and limitations of setting intentions Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/kamala-masters-442

20 Apr 202258min

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Why is it that many men seem unenthusiastic about discussing body image issues? We take a deep dive into this topic with Aaron Flores, a Los Angeles-based registered dietician and nutritionist, and one of the few men very active in the space of intuitive eating. Aaron talks about how capitalism ties our weight to our worthiness, and his notion that "our body is not a project." In this episode we also discuss: What intuitive eating is How men experience body image issues, and why they often don't talk about it The relationship between diet culture and capitalism What "health at every size" means and why it's sometimes controversial Guidelines for parents The role of self-compassion when it comes to food Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/aaron-flores-441

18 Apr 20221h 1min

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Many of us find our minds flitting all over the place, in meditation and elsewhere. In today's episode we're going to learn practical techniques for boosting concentration on and off the cushion. This is the second episode in a two-part series on focus we are airing this week. Today's guest is an Olympic-level concentrator who has tons of tips for staying focused. We also talk about one of the more exotic meditation subjects: The altered states of consciousness called the jhanas that are available to advanced meditators who can attain deep states of concentration. Shaila Catherine is the founder of Insight Meditation South Bay, a meditation group in Silicon Valley. She has been practicing meditation since 1980 and has more than nine years of accumulated silent retreat experience. She's the author of Focused and Fearless: A Meditator's Guide to States of Deep Joy, Calm, and Clarity. In this conversation, we talk about: The basic building blocks of concentration in a meditation practice Cultivating the right attitude for meditation The difference between concentration and mindfulness Whether 'jhana' states are attainable for regular people Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/shaila-catherine-repost-348

13 Apr 20221h 10min