Are You a Grudge Holder or a Revenge Seeker? Here’s How It’s Hurting You – And How To Get Over It | James Kimmel, Jr.

Are You a Grudge Holder or a Revenge Seeker? Here’s How It’s Hurting You – And How To Get Over It | James Kimmel, Jr.

The psychology and neuroscience of revenge.

James Kimmel, Jr. is a lecturer in psychiatry at the Yale School of Medicine, an expert on revenge, a lawyer, and the founder and co-director of the Yale Collaborative for Motive Control Studies. He is the creator of The Nonjustice System, the Miracle Court app, and SavingCain.org for recovering from grievances and revenge desires and preventing mass violence. His most recent book is The Science of Revenge: Understanding the World’s Deadliest Addiction—and How to Overcome It.



In this episode we talk about:

  • The horrific and violent bullying he endured as a child—which provoked his interest in the subject of revenge
  • The connection between revenge and addiction
  • Our evolutionary programming for revenge
  • Practical strategies for when you feel wronged
  • How to seek justice without revenge
  • An antidote to revenge cravings
  • And much more



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Get ready for another Meditation Party at Omega Institute! This in-person workshop brings together Dan with his friends and meditation teachers, Sebene Selassie, Jeff Warren, and for the first time, Ofosu Jones-Quartey. The event runs October 24th-26th. Sign up and learn more here!



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Episoder(927)

Rep. Tim Ryan, Teaching Congress to Meditate

Rep. Tim Ryan, Teaching Congress to Meditate

In another installment from the "10% Happier" road trip, Dan Harris and meditation teacher Jeff Warren sat down with Rep. Tim Ryan, D-Ohio, at the congressman's office on Capitol Hill in January shortly after President Trump's inauguration. Ryan, who has been meditating for years, talks about bringing in teachers to host meditation sessions for members of Congress and their staffs, and why he believes meditation should be taught in public schools.

5 Jul 201735min

Gary Vaynerchuk, Media Industry Leader

Gary Vaynerchuk, Media Industry Leader

VanyerMedia CEO Gary Vaynerchuk got his start as "the wine guy" when he launched one of the first wine e-commerce websites in the U.S. He began making a wine video blog as YouTube was coming up and went on to build an entire social media-focused empire. Vaynerchuk was skeptical of trying meditation, so Dan brought in mindfulness teacher Cory Muscara (Ep. #82) to help.

28 Jun 201743min

Mark Coleman, Meditating in the Great Outdoors

Mark Coleman, Meditating in the Great Outdoors

Renowned mindfulness teacher Mark Coleman, founder of Awake in the Wild and The Mindfulness Institute, has led wilderness meditation retreats from Alaska to Peru. Coleman talks about making peace with our "judging thoughts" and how nature can "open the heart" and relieve stress, even if you're stuck on a cross-country flight and taking notice of the landscape below or just taking a moment to feel the wind on your face.

21 Jun 201751min

James Gimian, Mindful Magazine Publisher

James Gimian, Mindful Magazine Publisher

James Gimian, who has been in publishing since the '70s, started covering the emerging mindfulness movement for a small magazine years ago when he said it became clear that secular mindfulness was taking root in "a big and significant way." In 2011, he spearheaded the launch of Mindful, a mission-oriented non-profit organization and magazine dedicated to bringing secular mindfulness to the masses, offering community building, profile pieces, advice and guidance.

14 Jun 201756min

Josh Groban, Multi-Platinum Recording Artist, Actor (Bonus!)

Josh Groban, Multi-Platinum Recording Artist, Actor (Bonus!)

This a special pre-Tony Awards episode of the podcast with multi-platinum recording artist and actor Josh Groban, who is nominated for best lead actor in a musical for his role in Broadway's "Natasha, Pierre and The Great Comet of 1812." Dan Harris and meditation teacher Jeff Warren sat down with Groban at the start of their cross-country meditation bus tour back in January to teach this Broadway first-timer how to meditate.

9 Jun 201742min

Cory Muscara, Mindfulness Teacher, Former Monk

Cory Muscara, Mindfulness Teacher, Former Monk

Cory Muscara, 27 years old, admits he first tried meditation because he wanted to impress his college girlfriend -- but it changed his life forever. Muscara, an econ major who considered a finance career, switched gears and spent six months practicing mindfulness meditation as a Buddhist monk, completed numerous meditation training programs and eventually became the founder and head teacher of the Long Island Center for Mindfulness, bringing meditation into school, health care and corporate settings.

7 Jun 201741min

Sharon Salzberg, 'Real Love'

Sharon Salzberg, 'Real Love'

"I think people do things motivated by love, certainly more strongly sometimes, and more successfully, than when motivated by hate... I think love is actually the force that keeps us going," said renowned meditation teacher and best-selling author Sharon Salzberg. A regular on the "10% Happier" podcast, Salzberg talks about her new book, "Real Love: The Art of Mindful Connection," out June 6, which explores how we can change the way we feel about having self-compassion, love for all beings and love for life itself.

31 Mai 201750min

Bellamy Young, TV's "Scandal" Star

Bellamy Young, TV's "Scandal" Star

ALERT: This episode contains "Scandal" spoilers! Bellamy Young, best known for playing Mellie Grant on ABC's hit show, "Scandal," said making meditation part of her daily routine has helped improve her sleep and process her character's heavy, emotional narratives. And she dishes on what was changed in the original "Scandal" season 6 plotline.

26 Mai 201739min

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