EP. 32: The Belief That's Keeping You Stuck in Survival Mode (And How to Finally Let It Go) | ADHD with Jenna Free

EP. 32: The Belief That's Keeping You Stuck in Survival Mode (And How to Finally Let It Go) | ADHD with Jenna Free

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Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Dysregulation Quiz
01:00 Beliefs Are the Roots of the Tree
03:00 The "I'm Behind, I Need to Catch Up" Belief
05:00 What Are Belief Schemas?
07:00 Common ADHD Dysregulated Beliefs
09:00 Perfectionism as a Hidden Belief System
11:00 Step 1 - Name It, Don't Shame It
12:00 Step 2 - Connect Body and Belief Work
14:00 Step 3 - Update Your Schema Over Time
16:00 Bringing It Back to Reality vs. Potential
18:00 You're Rewriting Your Brain's Story
20:00 Noticing When Beliefs Don't Make Sense

Summary

In this episode, I dive into belief schemas - the deep, often subconscious belief systems that keep us dysregulated even when we're working on physical regulation. I explain how beliefs like "I'm behind, I need to catch up," "I can't trust myself," and "something bad will happen if I relax" were formed during childhood (often through the friction of being neurodivergent in a neurotypical world) and continue to trigger our nervous system into fight or flight. Using powerful examples like rushing to a massage appointment or dragging your child home from school for no logical reason, I demonstrate how these beliefs run like software in the background, keeping us stuck in panic, perfectionism, and avoidance. This episode teaches you the three steps to work with dysregulated beliefs: name it without shame, connect the body work with belief work, and update your schema to match your adult reality.

Action Step:

This week, notice when you feel rushed, panicked, or pressured. Pause and ask yourself: "What belief is underneath this feeling right now?" Look for thoughts like "I'm behind," "There's not enough time," "I should be further along," or "Something bad will happen if I stop." Simply bringing awareness to these beliefs is the first powerful step in changing them.

Takeaways

  • Regulation isn't just nervous system work - beliefs and thoughts need regulation too.
  • Belief schemas are the subconscious lens through which we interpret the world.
  • Many ADHD belief systems were formed in childhood from being misunderstood and constantly corrected.
  • Common dysregulated beliefs include: "I'm behind, I need to catch up," "I can't trust myself," "If I'm not achieving, I'm failing," and "Something bad will happen if I relax."
  • These beliefs trigger the nervous system into dysregulation, even when nothing dangerous is happening.
  • The belief "I'm behind" often creates paralysis rather than productivity - it backfires.
  • Perfectionism can be hidden - your life may look far from perfect, but the belief system is still running underneath.
  • The three steps: Name it (awareness), connect body and belief work together, and update your schema over time.
  • You have more autonomy as an adult than your internal system realizes - updating this is crucial.
  • Living in "potential" (shoulds, judgments) versus reality keeps you stuck and powerless.
  • There's never a logical reason to rush - notice when you're rushing for no reason at all.
  • Thought and belief regulation brings you back into your power and the present moment.

Connect with Me

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Episoder(73)

72: Interrupt ADHD and Perfectionism Patterns for More Freedom

72: Interrupt ADHD and Perfectionism Patterns for More Freedom

You spend three weeks fussing with a work project that was technically done two weeks ago. A two-line email took 40 minutes because you rewrote it 4 times. You can't start the errand list until you've...

10 Aug 19min

71: How to Find Balance with ADHD All-or-Nothing Thinking

71: How to Find Balance with ADHD All-or-Nothing Thinking

You either clean the whole house in one rampage or leave your clothes on the floor for a week. You go hard at the gym for a week, eat one cookie, and write off the whole month. You wait for a six-hour...

3 Aug 25min

70: ADHD Executive Dysfunction Isn't Permanent and Here's Why

70: ADHD Executive Dysfunction Isn't Permanent and Here's Why

You know exactly what you should be doing, and you still can't make yourself start. If you're an adult with ADHD who's tired of being told your executive function is just "how your brain is," this epi...

27 Jul 23min

69: Why ADHD Regulation Works Better Than Chasing Symptoms

69: Why ADHD Regulation Works Better Than Chasing Symptoms

You've tried fixing the symptoms one by one, and you're still spinning. This episode is for the adult with ADHD who's exhausted from chasing symptoms and not seeing real change. I make the case that A...

20 Jul 24min

68: ADHD and Relationships: How to Stay Regulated with the People You Love

68: ADHD and Relationships: How to Stay Regulated with the People You Love

You hold it together all day, then walk in your front door, and everything comes out sideways. You're snappier with your partner, more defensive with your kids, and impatient with the people you reall...

13 Jul 27min

67: ADHD Task Switching: Why It's Hard and How to Make It Easier

67: ADHD Task Switching: Why It's Hard and How to Make It Easier

You've been calling yourself bad at task switching for so long it's started to feel like a fact. And the evidence keeps stacking up: the hyperfocus sessions that run three hours past when you need to ...

6 Jul 23min

66: 5 Unexpected Benefits of ADHD Nervous System Regulation

66: 5 Unexpected Benefits of ADHD Nervous System Regulation

You lived in survival mode. The stress, the paralysis, the frantic crash cycle. And then something shifted. This episode is for the adult with ADHD who's curious what life looks like on the other side...

29 Jun 22min

65: Why ADHD Overwhelm Happens and How to Regulate It

65: Why ADHD Overwhelm Happens and How to Regulate It

Too much to do, can't pick anything, can't move. The list is right there, the day is slipping, and somehow you end up frozen on the couch, wondering what is wrong with you. This episode is for the adu...

22 Jun 18min

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