#91 Why It Takes Years to Get Answers (Part 2)

🔹 Connect with Bianca:

• website
• instagram
• YouTube
• Nervous System Healing Class - Use code HEAL for a discount

💡 What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• Why so many women with PCOS feel dismissed or unheard
• Bianca’s 13-year journey to finally receiving a diagnosis
• The connection between stress, the nervous system, and hormones
• A simple breakdown of polyvagal theory (green, yellow, red states)
• Why your body can’t heal in survival mode
• The “stress bucket” concept and how it impacts your health
• How past experiences and current stressors shape your nervous system
• Why the quality of your coping skills matters more than you think
• The role of self-compassion in healing
• How to set boundaries without guilt
• Simple, realistic tools to regulate your nervous system starting today

🧠 Understanding Your Nervous System

Bianca explains three core nervous system states:

🟢 Green (Regulated)

• Calm, safe, connected
• Optimal digestion, sleep, and hormone function
• This is where healing happens

🟡 Yellow (Stress / Activation)

• Fight-or-flight mode (stress, anxiety, overwhelm)
• Can be healthy in short bursts
• The issue: most women live here chronically

🔴 Red (Shutdown)

• Burnout, numbness, disconnection
• Result of prolonged stress overload

👉 Most women today are stuck cycling between yellow and red, rarely reaching true regulation.

🧩 The Nervous System Equation

Your state is shaped by:

1. Past Stressors

• Trauma, childhood experiences, emotional wounds

2. Current Stressors

• Work, family, health, constant stimulation

3. The Quality of Your Coping Skills (Your Biggest Lever)

Low-quality coping:

• Scrolling, binge eating, alcohol, numbing behaviors

High-quality coping:

• Movement, breathwork, journaling, therapy, connection

🪣 The Stress Bucket

• Every stressor fills your internal “bucket”
• Poor coping keeps it full (or overflowing)
• Quality coping helps empty it

🔄 Healing Is Not Linear

• You don’t go from burnout → calm overnight
• Progress often looks like:
  • Red (numb) → Yellow (anxious) → Green (regulated)

👉 Feeling more emotions after being numb is often a sign of healing, not failure

💥 The Hidden Block: Self-Criticism

• Shame and self-judgment add MORE stress
• Healing requires:
  • Awareness
  • Compassion
  • Acceptance

🤍 Reframing Your Inner Voice

Instead of:

• “I should be doing better”

Try:

• “What do I need right now?”
• “How would I support a friend in this situation?”

🚧 Boundaries = Healing

Start asking:

• What can I eliminate?
• What needs better boundaries?
• What do I need to navigate differently?

🔑 Powerful Mindset Shifts

1. Every “yes” is a “no” to something else
→ Often your peace, rest, or healing

2. “You can’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm”
→ Stop sacrificing yourself for everyone else

3. Choose your “hard”

• It’s hard to set boundaries
• It’s also hard to stay burnt out

👉 You get to decide which hard you live with

🛠️ Tools for Nervous System Regulation

Bianca emphasizes that there is no one-size-fits-all approach—the key is finding what works for you.

Go-To Tools to Explore:

• Breathwork (simple + accessible anywhere)
  • Longer exhales activate the vagus nerve and calm the body
• Journaling
  • Clears mental overload and creates space
• EFT Tapping
  • Especially powerful for anxiety
• Movement
  • Walking, swimming, exercise
• Nature & stillness
  • Grounding and regulating
• Cold exposure (for some states)
  • Helpful for numbness, but not always for anxiety

🔍 Key Reminder:

You don’t need:

• A perfect routine
• A 90-minute morning ritual
• To do everything at once

👉 You just need to:

• Get curious
• Pay attention
• Find what works for your body

💬 Quotes from This Episode

“Your body has to feel safe in order to heal.”

“Every time you say yes to something, you’re saying no to something else.”

“You can’t set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.”

“You have to decide which version of hard you’re willing to live with.”

🌿 Final Takeaway

Healing isn’t about doing more.
It’s about creating a state in your body where healing is possible.

Start small:

• Take a deep breath
• Go for a walk
• Put your phone down
• Listen to your body

Because real change doesn’t come from perfection—
it comes from awareness, consistency, and self-support.

⚠️ Podcast Disclaimer

This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional before making any changes to your health routine.

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