A Conversation about Abuse, Agency, and Mindfulness | Tanya Selvaratnam

A Conversation about Abuse, Agency, and Mindfulness | Tanya Selvaratnam

Before we dive in, a warning: this conversation includes descriptions of abuse and violence. As you may know, March 8th, the day we’re dropping this episode, is International Women’s Day. We have a story today about intimate violence, which has long been a problem for women around the world, and has only intensified during the pandemic. My guest is Tanya Selvaratnam, a writer and artist who I’ve known socially for many, many years. I was truly shocked when Tanya’s name surfaced in the media three years ago, in connection with the case of Eric Schneiderman. Eric was the celebrated Attorney General of New York State. He was also a regular on the local meditation scene. I knew Eric and Tanya were dating. What I did not know was that, behind the scenes, Eric was allegedly physically and emotionally abusing Tanya. She has now come out with a book, called Assume Nothing, which goes into searing detail about not only the alleged abuse, but also about how she flipped the script, regained her agency, helped bring her alleged abuser down, and how she has healed subsequently -- in no small part through meditation and therapy. Please note: If you or someone you know is suffering from abuse, you can find resources curated by Tanya at the “full shownotes” link below. We’d also like to provide more context about the allegations Tanya shares in this interview: When the allegations of abuse against New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman by Tanya and three other women were first made public in The New Yorker in May 2018, Schneiderman quickly resigned. In a statement at the time, he said, “serious allegations, which I strongly contest, have been made against me.” He also said, “While these allegations are unrelated to my professional conduct or the operations of the office, they will effectively prevent me from leading the office’s work at this critical time. I therefore resign my office.” After a six-month investigation, prosecutors declined to bring criminal charges against Schneiderman, citing legal impediments, including statutes of limitations. But the district attorney assigned to the case by Governor Andrew Cuomo also said that she “believed the women who shared their experiences” with investigators. In response, Schneiderman said, "I recognize that District Attorney Singas' decision not to prosecute does not mean I have done nothing wrong. I accept full responsibility for my conduct in my relationships with my accusers, and for the impact it had on them." I should also note that our team reached out to Eric Schneiderman and that he declined to comment for this episode. Two more items: First, remember to check out “In Plain Sight: Lady Bird Johnson,” a new podcast from ABC News, on Apple Podcasts (https://apple.co/ladybird), Spotify (https://spoti.fi/3ukYgoq), or wherever you’re listening now. Finally, we are looking for a podcast marketer at Ten Percent Happier. If you love this show, marketing, and building relationships, we would love to have you on the team to help us grow Ten Percent Happier and our future shows. Please apply at https://www.tenpercent.com/careers. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/tanya-selvaratnam-328

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James Gimian, Mindful Magazine Publisher

James Gimian, Mindful Magazine Publisher

James Gimian, who has been in publishing since the '70s, started covering the emerging mindfulness movement for a small magazine years ago when he said it became clear that secular mindfulness was taking root in "a big and significant way." In 2011, he spearheaded the launch of Mindful, a mission-oriented non-profit organization and magazine dedicated to bringing secular mindfulness to the masses, offering community building, profile pieces, advice and guidance.

14 Juni 201756min

Josh Groban, Multi-Platinum Recording Artist, Actor (Bonus!)

Josh Groban, Multi-Platinum Recording Artist, Actor (Bonus!)

This a special pre-Tony Awards episode of the podcast with multi-platinum recording artist and actor Josh Groban, who is nominated for best lead actor in a musical for his role in Broadway's "Natasha, Pierre and The Great Comet of 1812." Dan Harris and meditation teacher Jeff Warren sat down with Groban at the start of their cross-country meditation bus tour back in January to teach this Broadway first-timer how to meditate.

9 Juni 201742min

Cory Muscara, Mindfulness Teacher, Former Monk

Cory Muscara, Mindfulness Teacher, Former Monk

Cory Muscara, 27 years old, admits he first tried meditation because he wanted to impress his college girlfriend -- but it changed his life forever. Muscara, an econ major who considered a finance career, switched gears and spent six months practicing mindfulness meditation as a Buddhist monk, completed numerous meditation training programs and eventually became the founder and head teacher of the Long Island Center for Mindfulness, bringing meditation into school, health care and corporate settings.

7 Juni 201741min

Sharon Salzberg, 'Real Love'

Sharon Salzberg, 'Real Love'

"I think people do things motivated by love, certainly more strongly sometimes, and more successfully, than when motivated by hate... I think love is actually the force that keeps us going," said renowned meditation teacher and best-selling author Sharon Salzberg. A regular on the "10% Happier" podcast, Salzberg talks about her new book, "Real Love: The Art of Mindful Connection," out June 6, which explores how we can change the way we feel about having self-compassion, love for all beings and love for life itself.

31 Maj 201750min

Bellamy Young, TV's "Scandal" Star

Bellamy Young, TV's "Scandal" Star

ALERT: This episode contains "Scandal" spoilers! Bellamy Young, best known for playing Mellie Grant on ABC's hit show, "Scandal," said making meditation part of her daily routine has helped improve her sleep and process her character's heavy, emotional narratives. And she dishes on what was changed in the original "Scandal" season 6 plotline.

26 Maj 201739min

Willoughby Britton, Jared Lindahl -- Does Meditation Have a Dark Side?

Willoughby Britton, Jared Lindahl -- Does Meditation Have a Dark Side?

Many of us get into meditation because we want to be calmer, less stressed and less yanked around by our emotions, but sometimes there are unwanted effects. Brown University researchers Willoughby Britton, an assistant professor of psychiatry and human behavior, and Jared Lindahl, a visiting assistant professor of religious studies, published a new study today on the wide range of difficult experiences and challenges meditators they interviewed said they faced in their practice.

24 Maj 20171h 16min

Lodro Rinzler, Meditation for the Heartbroken

Lodro Rinzler, Meditation for the Heartbroken

Buddhist meditation teacher Lodro Rinzler, who had been meditating for most of his life, found himself dealing with multiple, heartbreaking tribulations in his 20s and he fell into despair for a while. After working through his experience, Rinzler, who has written six books and co-founded MNDFL in New York City, focused on having conversations about how Buddhist teachings can help others cope with devastating life events.

17 Maj 201754min

Jen Kirkman, Comedian, Author

Jen Kirkman, Comedian, Author

Stand-up comedian Jen Kirkman was introduced to meditation at a young age and over the years has tried a bunch of different outlets, from 'body scan' practice to mantra to meditation classes, to help her deal with panic disorder, depression, anxiety and the chaos of a hectic schedule in the entertainment industry. Kirkman, who even includes a whole bit about her practice as part of her stand-up routine, offers a very interesting take on meditation, not only as it pertains to everyday life but also as it pertains to someone trying to be creative and funny.

10 Maj 201757min

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