A Conversation about Abuse, Agency, and Mindfulness | Tanya Selvaratnam

A Conversation about Abuse, Agency, and Mindfulness | Tanya Selvaratnam

Before we dive in, a warning: this conversation includes descriptions of abuse and violence. As you may know, March 8th, the day we’re dropping this episode, is International Women’s Day. We have a story today about intimate violence, which has long been a problem for women around the world, and has only intensified during the pandemic. My guest is Tanya Selvaratnam, a writer and artist who I’ve known socially for many, many years. I was truly shocked when Tanya’s name surfaced in the media three years ago, in connection with the case of Eric Schneiderman. Eric was the celebrated Attorney General of New York State. He was also a regular on the local meditation scene. I knew Eric and Tanya were dating. What I did not know was that, behind the scenes, Eric was allegedly physically and emotionally abusing Tanya. She has now come out with a book, called Assume Nothing, which goes into searing detail about not only the alleged abuse, but also about how she flipped the script, regained her agency, helped bring her alleged abuser down, and how she has healed subsequently -- in no small part through meditation and therapy. Please note: If you or someone you know is suffering from abuse, you can find resources curated by Tanya at the “full shownotes” link below. We’d also like to provide more context about the allegations Tanya shares in this interview: When the allegations of abuse against New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman by Tanya and three other women were first made public in The New Yorker in May 2018, Schneiderman quickly resigned. In a statement at the time, he said, “serious allegations, which I strongly contest, have been made against me.” He also said, “While these allegations are unrelated to my professional conduct or the operations of the office, they will effectively prevent me from leading the office’s work at this critical time. I therefore resign my office.” After a six-month investigation, prosecutors declined to bring criminal charges against Schneiderman, citing legal impediments, including statutes of limitations. But the district attorney assigned to the case by Governor Andrew Cuomo also said that she “believed the women who shared their experiences” with investigators. In response, Schneiderman said, "I recognize that District Attorney Singas' decision not to prosecute does not mean I have done nothing wrong. I accept full responsibility for my conduct in my relationships with my accusers, and for the impact it had on them." I should also note that our team reached out to Eric Schneiderman and that he declined to comment for this episode. Two more items: First, remember to check out “In Plain Sight: Lady Bird Johnson,” a new podcast from ABC News, on Apple Podcasts (https://apple.co/ladybird), Spotify (https://spoti.fi/3ukYgoq), or wherever you’re listening now. Finally, we are looking for a podcast marketer at Ten Percent Happier. If you love this show, marketing, and building relationships, we would love to have you on the team to help us grow Ten Percent Happier and our future shows. Please apply at https://www.tenpercent.com/careers. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/tanya-selvaratnam-328

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Jon Kabat-Zinn, Creator of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction

Jon Kabat-Zinn, Creator of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction

Jon Kabat-Zinn was on a meditation retreat in the late '70s when he had an idea to marry science with mindfulness and bring the practice into hospitals, which then led to his redefining an important element of patient care. Kabat-Zinn is the founding executive director of the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health Care, and Society at the University of Massachusetts Medical School and the founding director of its renowned Stress Reduction Clinic, who created Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) programs that are used in hundreds of hospitals, clinics and labs all over the world.

3 Maj 201759min

Russell Simmons, Philanthropist, Entrepreneur, Author and Activist

Russell Simmons, Philanthropist, Entrepreneur, Author and Activist

Def Jam music label founder Russell Simmons had his first experience with stillness at a yoga class -- which he admits he took because girls were there. “I went to class because of a lot of hot chicks. It's true,” Simmons says in our interview. Simmons, who practices and teaches Transcendental Meditation, has worked to bring meditation to schools to help lower their violence levels and increase students’ learning abilities. He explains why being a vegan has dramatically changed his health for the better and what his relationship with President Donald Trump is like today.

26 Apr 201726min

David Leite, Food Writer, Memoirist (LIVE!)

David Leite, Food Writer, Memoirist (LIVE!)

In a special edition of the "10% Happier" podcast, Dan Harris leads a discussion with David Leite, author of "Notes on a Banana: A Memoir of Food, Love and Manic Depression," in front of a live audience in New York City. Leite talks at length about struggling with bipolar disorder for decades -- and going undiagnosed for much of that time -- but also shares funny stories about navigating relationships and his passion for food.

19 Apr 201752min

Daniel Goleman, Diving into 'Emotional Intelligence' (Bonus Episode!)

Daniel Goleman, Diving into 'Emotional Intelligence' (Bonus Episode!)

"The human central nervous system and brain is designed the same around the world... and there probably is a lot of spontaneous rediscovery in different areas of different ways you can play with the mind," Dan Goleman, renowned psychologist and author of the best-selling book, "Emotional Intelligence," says in our interview. Goleman has helped spread the concept of "emotional intelligence," or "EQ," and its four parts -- self-awareness, self-management, social awareness (empathy) and relationship management (social skills) -- across the globe and explains why it matters a great deal in leadership.

14 Apr 201749min

Sam Harris, 'Waking Up' Podcast Host, Neuroscientist

Sam Harris, 'Waking Up' Podcast Host, Neuroscientist

Sam Harris, who has no relation to our beloved host, is a scientist, a controversial skeptic and the author of several New York Times bestsellers, including "The End of Faith," "The Moral Landscape" and "Waking Up" (also the title of his popular podcast). During our interview, Harris hosts a clinic on deconstructing "consciousness and its contents" with the help of meditation, and recognizing how getting lost in thought can be tied to suffering.

12 Apr 20171h 32min

Clair Brown, Economist, Author of 'Buddhist Economics'

Clair Brown, Economist, Author of 'Buddhist Economics'

Clair Brown, an economics professor at UC-Berkeley and a Tibetan Buddhist, was teaching an introductory course when she asked herself, "How would Buddha teach Econ One?" Brown went on to write the book, "Buddhist Economics: An Enlightened Approach to the Dismal Science," and advocates for a more mindful approach to how we contribute to society, for example, that as consumers, we should work to simplify our lives by focusing on what matters most to us, buying less and reducing our carbon footprint.

5 Apr 201741min

Jewel, Grammy-Nominated Singer-Songwriter, Actress (Bonus!)

Jewel, Grammy-Nominated Singer-Songwriter, Actress (Bonus!)

Jewel, whose poetic songs about relationships and heartache dominated the airwaves in the '90s, used writing as an outlet to deal with anxiety through a tough childhood and later, homelessness. She began looking for ways to "re-wire" her brain, change her life for the better, and came to Mindfulness. The Grammy-nominated recording artist wrote a memoir, "Never Broken: Songs Are Only Half the Story," and stars in the upcoming Hallmark movie, "Framed for Murder: A Fixer-Upper Mystery," airing Sunday, April 2.

31 Mars 201731min

Jerry Colonna, 'CEO Whisperer' and Reboot.io Founder

Jerry Colonna, 'CEO Whisperer' and Reboot.io Founder

Jerry Colonna was working as a venture capitalist in New York City during the 9/11 terrorist attacks, and as he walked by wreckage of the World Trade Center towers, he said he felt like his "world was falling apart." Colonna went on to become a practicing Buddhist and in 2014 he founded Reboot.io, a CEO-coaching company where he serves as a certified professional coach for the heads of some of the most dynamic start-ups in the United States.

29 Mars 201759min

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