The Science of Building Better Relationships | Marissa King

The Science of Building Better Relationships | Marissa King

The idea of networking can be fraught. For some people, it might, at times, seem either icky or pathetic to deliberately try to make friends, either in a personal or professional context -- especially since so many of us may be feeling a bit socially awkward anyway, after months of Covid restrictions. However, my guest today will argue that there are profound health benefits to building positive relationships, and she has advice about how to actually do it, based on neuroscience and psychology. Marissa King is a Professor of Organizational Behavior at the Yale School of Management, where she studies social networks, social influence, and team dynamics. She is also the author of a recently-released book, called Social Chemistry: Decoding the Patterns of Human Connection. In this conversation, we talk about: how your social networks impact your mental health; how, when it comes to social networks, quality and structure are more important than quantity; why you’re not as bad at being social as you may think; the importance of humor; how status and privilege play into networking; the benefits of calling up old friends you haven’t spoken to in a while; and she will ask you to consider whether you are a convener, a broker, or an expansionist. This is actually part two of a two-part series that we're running this week about the hard science and soft skills of social connection. If you missed it on Monday, we had an amazing interview with a researcher named Barbara Fredrickson from UNC Chapel Hill. She has a lot of fascinating things to say about what love actually is and takes a pretty broad view of the concept of love. You don't have to listen to that in order to understand this episode, but I think they work great in concert. One more item of business, and it is an invitation for you to participate in this show. In June, we’ll be launching a special series of podcast episodes focusing on anxiety, something I’m sure we’re all too familiar with. In this series, you’ll learn the mechanics of anxiety: how and why it shows up and what you may be doing to feed it. And this is where you come in. We’d love to hear from you with your questions about anxiety that experts will answer during our anxiety series on the podcast. So whether you’re struggling with social anxiety, anxiety about re-entering the world post-Covid, or have any other questions about anxiety - we want to hear from you. To submit a question or share a reflection call (646) 883-8326 and leave us a voicemail. If you’re outside the United States, you can email us a voice memo file in mp3 format to listener@tenpercent.com. The deadline for submissions is Wednesday, May 12th. And if you don't already have the Ten Percent Happier app, you can download it for free wherever you get your apps or by clicking here: https://www.tenpercent.com/?_branch_match_id=888540266380716858. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/marissa-king-342

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Andrew Scheffer, The Wharton Monk

Andrew Scheffer, The Wharton Monk

Andrew Scheffer's decision to try meditation after his freshman year of college launched him on a journey where he traveled the world, spent over a year training as a Buddhist monk and worked with the famed Buddhist master, Sayadaw U Pandita, before going on to earn an MBA from the prestigious Wharton School of Business. After working in finance, Scheffer founded and leads "Mindfulness Matters," a corporate training program that applies meditation practices to leadership skills, teaching all sorts of groups from hotel workers to financial managers.

8 Nov 20171h 1min

Shiza Shahid, Malala Fund Co-Founder

Shiza Shahid, Malala Fund Co-Founder

Growing up in a post-9/11 Pakistan, Shiza Shahid had what she called an "activist childhood," where she volunteered in prisons, refugee camps and disaster relief efforts after the 2005 Kashmir earthquake. When the Taliban issued an edict banning girls from going to school, the then-Stanford University sophomore created a secret summer camp in Pakistan for girls, one of which was a 12-year-old Malala Yousafzai. When Malala was shot in 2012 by a Taliban gunman, Shahid co-founded the Malala Fund to promote Malala's story of perseverance and advocacy for girls' education.

1 Nov 201743min

Leslie Booker, Activism and the Dharma

Leslie Booker, Activism and the Dharma

Leslie Booker was working as a wardrobe stylist, dressing models for a living, and was looking for a way to transition out of the industry and her winding path -- she lives a nomadic lifestyle -- eventually brought her to becoming a meditation teacher. A Navy brat who grew up in Virginia and Japan, Booker is also an activist who was involved in the Occupy Wall Street movement and has worked with incarcerated youth, and she shared her thoughts on how the Dharma has changed the way she approaches activism.

25 Okt 201754min

Adam Levin, X Ambassadors Drummer

Adam Levin, X Ambassadors Drummer

As the X Ambassadors' fame grew, drummer Adam Levin noticed he was always waiting for something to go wrong. With more success, came more anxiety, "and that's not a fun way to live," he said. Levin talks about how the rock star life drove him to meditation, as well as how the band works together, what lead singer Sam Harris goes through to care for his voice, and why Levin thinks the band's next album is "the best work" they've "ever done."

18 Okt 201732min

Sally Quinn, Walking the Labyrinth

Sally Quinn, Walking the Labyrinth

When author and journalist Sally Quinn needs a moment of peace or clarity, she said, "I walk the labyrinth." A labyrinth walk has long represented a journey or pilgrimage and Quinn uses it for walking meditation -- her late husband, legendary Washington Post executive editor Ben Bradlee, even built one for her at their Maryland estate. Quinn, who launched the Post's 'On Faith' website as a self-proclaimed atheist, talks about her new memoir, "Finding Magic," her notorious D.C. dinner parties and discovering meaning in her life through the years she spent caring for Bradlee as he suffered with dementia, their son, who had heart defect and severe learning disabilities, and her ailing parents.

11 Okt 20171h 2min

Anderson Cooper, CNN Anchor

Anderson Cooper, CNN Anchor

Anderson Cooper, a 23-year news veteran, is the anchor of CNN's "Anderson Cooper 360" and a contributor to CBS News' "60 Minutes." His reporting for a "60 Minutes" piece on mindfulness led him to start his own meditation practice, and he talks at length in our interview about how it has brought him some peace and perspective after dealing with the deaths of his father and brother, being "incredibly introverted" and being a good journalist in the age of Twitter.

4 Okt 201740min

Nicholas Hoult & Danny Strong, 'Rebel in the Rye'

Nicholas Hoult & Danny Strong, 'Rebel in the Rye'

The new biopic about reclusive author J.D. Salinger explores his formative years, from struggling writer, to serving in World War II, to publishing his famous and controversial 1951 novel, "The Catcher in the Rye," to using meditation to deal with PTSD. Actor Nicholas Hoult, who plays Salinger, and Danny Strong, who wrote and directed the film, are both meditators themselves and talk about diving into this tortured author's mind to bring his story to the big screen.

27 Sep 201731min

Tom Bergeron, 'Dancing With the Stars' Host

Tom Bergeron, 'Dancing With the Stars' Host

On a live show, anything can happen, but Tom Bergeron trusts he can handle it. The host of ABC's hit dancing competition show, "Dancing With the Stars," has been meditating for over 35 years and credits his years of TM practice for keeping his cool and "responding appropriately" on the fly in front of judges, contestants and a live studio audience, as well as managing "a really bad temper."

20 Sep 201738min

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