The AuDHD Boss: Neurodiversity at Work with Brett Whitmarsh16 Jun

I Was More Nervous to Come Out as Autistic at Work Than I Was Coming Out Bisexual

I was more nervous to tell people at work I was autistic than I was coming out bisexual. That's not a punchline. It tells you something about how similar these two journeys actually are.

In this episode Brett shares how coming out as bisexual in his 30s and getting a late AuDHD diagnosis a few years later followed the same emotional architecture — recontextualizing your entire life, grieving the person you thought you were, and slowly learning to stop masking.

What made both take so long? Alexithymia and delayed processing made it hard to understand his own feelings. Growing up in a high control religion made those feelings feel dangerous. And high masking kept both identities hidden — even from himself.

If you came out late, got diagnosed late, or both I'd love to hear your story.

Topics covered: neuroqueer identity, high masking, Alexithymia, coming out in your 30s, late AuDHD diagnosis, workplace safety, the grief of late discovery, and why unmasking and coming out feel like the same thing.

Find Brett's Drains & Sparks workbook and coaching at payhip.com/audhdboss.

In this episode:

Why high masking kept Brett in the closet — and later kept his AuDHD diagnosis hidden too
How Alexithymia and delayed processing made it hard to understand his own feelings
Why workplace safety was the trigger that finally let him unmask
The grief that comes with both late coming out and late diagnosis — and where they differ
Why "people who aren't don't spend all that time wondering if they are" applies to both sexuality and neurotype

Resources mentioned:

Drains & Sparks Workbook: payhip.com/audhdboss

Denne episoden er hentet fra en åpen RSS-feed og er ikke publisert av Podme. Den kan derfor inneholde annonser.

Episoder(62)

ADHD and Avoidance: The ADHD Channel for Women, From Understood.org

Do you ever feel that wave of avoidance with your ADHD, even with the things you genuinely want to do? Or, if something doesn't have a clear direction or maybe there are too many steps or it just isn'...

12 Okt 14min

You Might Also Like: The ADHD Channel for Women, from Understood.org

We’re doing something a little different today. I’m sharing an episode from The ADHD Channel for Women. It’s from Understood.org, a nonprofit helping millions navigate neurodivergence. Their channel f...

28 Sep 12min

Can You Come Back From a Performance Improvement Plan? with Vicki Yang

If you've been placed on a Performance Improvement Plan—or think one might be coming—you may be wondering whether it's actually a chance to improve or whether your company has already decided it's tim...

23 Sep 25min

How Hyperfixations Built My Career

Can you take a special interest or hyperfixation and turn it into a job?I never intended to become a vice president. It happened accidentally.When I look back at my career—from video production and br...

19 Sep 13min

My AuDHD Masked Persona Helped Me Succeed at Work—Now I Can’t Let It Go

My AuDHD masked persona helped me succeed at work. The problem is, the more successful that persona became, the more I leaned into it—and now I’m trying to figure out how to let it go.In this episode,...

13 Sep 15min

What AuDHD Masking Feels Like in My Body

There's a certain tension that comes up. A wall. An invisible force field around my body, my brain, my mind, that I can't move past no matter how much I want to.That's what masking actually feels like...

30 Aug 30min

My Boss Doesn't Believe ADHD Is Real | Dr. Bowen Marshall

A viewer sent in a question that a lot of neurodivergent professionals are sitting with right now. Their boss doesn't believe ADHD is real, and they suspect that boss might be neurodivergent themselve...

27 Aug 39min

How to Process a Layoff When You're Autistic or Have ADHD

Processing a layoff is different when you're autistic or have ADHD. Brett Whitmarsh, host of The AuDHD Boss, shares what he learned in the ten months after his own layoff from a twelve-year corporate ...

7 Aug 14min