Why Autistic and ADHDers Get Called Unlikeable at Work | Dr. Bowen Marshall

Have you ever gotten the feedback that you're unlikeable at work? For a lot of neurodivergent professionals, that label arrives while you're already burning significant cognitive energy just to show up and function.

In this episode, Dr. Bowen Marshall and Brett dig into why masking reads as coldness, where the term masking actually comes from historically, and what warm cues are and how they work in practice at work.

The conversation covers the frontal lobe vs. temporal parietal junction difference in how autistic and non-autistic brains process social interaction, what happens when masking and a novel cognitive task compete for the same processor, and the 20/60/20 framework for understanding workplace perception. Brett shares the good morning story, a real workplace example that shows how a single missed warm cue can shape how a colleague is perceived for years.

But the episode goes further than workplace tactics. Bowen recently published "Yes, Even Masking Is Caused by Racism" on Substack, and that work runs through a significant part of this conversation, from the eugenics movement and the history of ABA therapy to professional dress codes as compliance culture. Brett and Bowen also talk openly about the overlap between queer identity and neurodivergence and why for many people those two things have never been separate.

Topics covered in this episode:
Why the mask drops when cognitive load increases
The frontal lobe vs. temporal parietal junction difference in social processing
Spiky cognitive profiles and building teams around them
The warmth and competence framework and the 20/60/20 breakdown
Micro moments of liking and primacy and recency effects at work
The history of ABA therapy and its connection to white supremacy culture
Queer masking as survival and the overlap between queer and neurodivergent identity
Why masking past a certain point disconnects you from your own power

Dr. Bowen Marshall, PhD is a licensed psychotherapist, author, and career coach specializing in ADHD, Autism, and neurodivergent career development. As part of his work, he helps neurodivergents navigate the complexity of career demands helping ADHDers, AuDHDers and Autistics find and create systems, workflows, and leadership styles that help them succeed and thrive at work and life.

Read Bowen's article: Yes, Even Masking Is Caused by Racism

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Find all Brett and Bowen's conversations on the AuDHD Boss YouTube playlist:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9QX1pbJKEk&list=PLRBohTCbOqwA