Episode 386: The Divorce Paperwork You Can't Afford to Forget with Marni Blank

Today we're having a conversation that so many of us need to have but don't want to have, and that's end-of-life planning in the middle of a divorce. Divorce already comes with so many choices, and most of them feel urgent, so the paperwork that comes with planning for the end tends to fall through the cracks. But updating healthcare proxies, beneficiaries, and wills needs a place on that list too.

My guest this week is here to help us feel a little more at ease and organized about all of it. Marni Blank is an End-of-Life & After-Loss Consultant and the founder of Begin With The End, a Brooklyn-based practice that helps people get their lives in order before a crisis forces the issue.

Together, Marni and I walk through what actually needs updating, even in the thick of decision fatigue, from healthcare proxies and living wills to powers of attorney and guardianship. We also talk about why a spouse may still be the one making medical decisions if the divorce isn't final, and why naming an executor without asking first is a big ask.

Doing this work now, while we're clear-headed, means we're not scrambling in the middle of grief or a crisis later.

What you'll hear about in this episode:

• Where to start with updating paperwork after divorce, the documents and accounts beyond the obvious ones, and why it's never just paperwork (2:59)

• The grief that comes with naming someone new as healthcare proxy after a spouse has held that role, and how to sit with that decision (3:57)

• Beneficiaries, wills, trusts, and the other pieces worth revisiting while going through divorce, not just after it's final (8:06)
  Why the people we choose for these roles need to be asked first, and what they're really signing up for (9:34)

• How to think about our digital life and legacy, from legacy contacts to changing passwords (19:06)

• Why so many newly divorced people don't want to think about the end when they're finally starting a new chapter, and why it's actually a good time to plan (23:23)

Learn more about Marni Blank:

Marni Blank is an End-of-Life & After-Loss Consultant and the founder of Begin With The End, a practice that helps people get their affairs, their digital lives, and their wishes in order so the people they love aren't left guessing.

A former attorney and trained mediator with training as an end-of-life doula and after-loss specialist, Marni came to this work after her parents' own health issues showed her how much most families haven't thought through, even the organized ones.

Her clients include solo agers, sandwich-generation caregivers, people newly divorced or widowed, and executors working through an estate. She regularly speaks on topics related to death, dying and grief.

Marni works virtually across the U.S. and in person around New York City. She writes The Hourglass, a weekly newsletter, and is the creator of the upcoming Plan Well Organizer, a guided system for getting your life documented in one place.

She firmly believes that in order to live well today, we must plan well for tomorrow.

She lives in Brooklyn with her labradoodle, Penny.

Resources & Links:

• Kate Anthony's Complete Parenting Plan

• Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate

• The Divorce Strategy Toolkit

• Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective

• Kate on Instagram

• Kate on Facebook

• Kate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch

• Episodes are also available YouTube!

• Seven Step Mindset Reset for Divorce

• Marni's website

• Marni on LinkedIn

• Marni on Instagram

Disclaimer:

The commentary and opinions available on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and not for the purpose of providing legal or psychological advice. You should contact an attorney, coach, or therapist in your state to obtain advice with respect to any particular issue or problem.