A Conversation about Abuse, Agency, and Mindfulness | Tanya Selvaratnam

A Conversation about Abuse, Agency, and Mindfulness | Tanya Selvaratnam

Before we dive in, a warning: this conversation includes descriptions of abuse and violence. As you may know, March 8th, the day we’re dropping this episode, is International Women’s Day. We have a story today about intimate violence, which has long been a problem for women around the world, and has only intensified during the pandemic. My guest is Tanya Selvaratnam, a writer and artist who I’ve known socially for many, many years. I was truly shocked when Tanya’s name surfaced in the media three years ago, in connection with the case of Eric Schneiderman. Eric was the celebrated Attorney General of New York State. He was also a regular on the local meditation scene. I knew Eric and Tanya were dating. What I did not know was that, behind the scenes, Eric was allegedly physically and emotionally abusing Tanya. She has now come out with a book, called Assume Nothing, which goes into searing detail about not only the alleged abuse, but also about how she flipped the script, regained her agency, helped bring her alleged abuser down, and how she has healed subsequently -- in no small part through meditation and therapy. Please note: If you or someone you know is suffering from abuse, you can find resources curated by Tanya at the “full shownotes” link below. We’d also like to provide more context about the allegations Tanya shares in this interview: When the allegations of abuse against New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman by Tanya and three other women were first made public in The New Yorker in May 2018, Schneiderman quickly resigned. In a statement at the time, he said, “serious allegations, which I strongly contest, have been made against me.” He also said, “While these allegations are unrelated to my professional conduct or the operations of the office, they will effectively prevent me from leading the office’s work at this critical time. I therefore resign my office.” After a six-month investigation, prosecutors declined to bring criminal charges against Schneiderman, citing legal impediments, including statutes of limitations. But the district attorney assigned to the case by Governor Andrew Cuomo also said that she “believed the women who shared their experiences” with investigators. In response, Schneiderman said, "I recognize that District Attorney Singas' decision not to prosecute does not mean I have done nothing wrong. I accept full responsibility for my conduct in my relationships with my accusers, and for the impact it had on them." I should also note that our team reached out to Eric Schneiderman and that he declined to comment for this episode. Two more items: First, remember to check out “In Plain Sight: Lady Bird Johnson,” a new podcast from ABC News, on Apple Podcasts (https://apple.co/ladybird), Spotify (https://spoti.fi/3ukYgoq), or wherever you’re listening now. Finally, we are looking for a podcast marketer at Ten Percent Happier. If you love this show, marketing, and building relationships, we would love to have you on the team to help us grow Ten Percent Happier and our future shows. Please apply at https://www.tenpercent.com/careers. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/tanya-selvaratnam-328

Episoder(908)

Brad Katsuyama, Wall Street Reformer

Brad Katsuyama, Wall Street Reformer

Brad Katsuyama's blood pressure levels were "out of control" and he decided to make a significant change in his life. The Canada native left his job at Royal Bank of Canada, began a regular meditation practice and started IEX, a stock exchange that took on predatory high-speed trading and was the subject of Michael Lewis' best-selling book, "Flash Boys: A Wall Street Revolt."

21 Feb 201859min

Bob Roth, Meditation Teacher to the Stars

Bob Roth, Meditation Teacher to the Stars

Oprah Winfrey, Tom Hanks and David Letterman are just some of the dozens of celebrities who sought out Bob Roth to learn Transcendental Meditation (TM), a mantra-focused meditation practice. Roth, who has been a meditation teacher for over 40 years and has a new book out called, "Strength in Stillness," talks about how he found TM and addresses the criticism and suspicions some former members have raised around TM.

14 Feb 20181h 4min

Susan Kaiser Greenland and Annaka Harris, Teaching Mindfulness to Kids

Susan Kaiser Greenland and Annaka Harris, Teaching Mindfulness to Kids

Susan Kaiser Greenland, an author and former corporate attorney, and Annaka Harris, an author and editor, work together to teach mindfulness meditation to children and their families through Greenland's Inner Kids Foundation. They offer advice for parents on introducing meditation to their kids and starting group sessions with other families, but they also share their views on the controversial topic of teaching meditation in schools and how they tackle concerns many parents have about teaching kids a practice that evolved from Eastern spiritual traditions.

7 Feb 201855min

Tim Ferriss, Host of 'The Tim Ferriss Show,' Author

Tim Ferriss, Host of 'The Tim Ferriss Show,' Author

Tim Ferriss, the host of "The Tim Ferriss Show" podcast and the author of several best-selling books, including "The 4-Hour Workweek" and "Tribe of Mentors," has built an entire empire around offering life-hacking advice, but when someone suggested he try meditation, he resisted for a while. He tried various forms, then eventually dove head first into doing a 10-day silent retreat, where he came face-to-face with a long-buried childhood trauma that made him re-evaluate how he cared for himself.

31 Jan 20181h 5min

Yael Shy, Helping College Students Fight Stress and FOMO

Yael Shy, Helping College Students Fight Stress and FOMO

Yael Shy, the author of "What Now? Meditation for Your Twenties and Beyond," says she came to meditation from "a lot of suffering" as a student at New York University in 2001 -- the same year the World Trade Center towers fell near her New York City dorm during the 9/11 terrorist attacks. Today, Shy helps college students tackle stress, anger and FOMO (fear of missing out) around academics, relationships, sex and social media in her role as the senior director of NYU Global Spiritual Life and the founder and director of MindfulNYU.

24 Jan 20181h 8min

Danica Patrick, Racing Superstar

Danica Patrick, Racing Superstar

Danica Patrick is one of the most successful female drivers in racing history, having been the first and only woman to win an IndyCar race. Since becoming a staple on the race track, Patrick has expanded her repertoire to include owning a winery, launching a clothing line and writing a new lifestyle book called, "Pretty Intense: The 90-Day Mind, Body and Food Plan," which she developed after changing her own diet and exercise routine while going through the process of freezing her eggs.

17 Jan 201835min

James Altucher, Master of Reinvention

James Altucher, Master of Reinvention

James Altucher, an entrepreneur, writer and host of "The James Altucher Show" podcast, is a master of reinvention, so much in fact that the title of one of his 18 books is "Reinvent Yourself." Altucher has built and sold numerous companies (and made and lost a few fortunes in the process), once gave up all of his possessions and was homeless for a time, dabbles in stand-up comedy, and all the while has maintained his long history with meditation.

10 Jan 20181h 3min

Manoush Zomorodi, Host of 'Note to Self' Podcast

Manoush Zomorodi, Host of 'Note to Self' Podcast

Manoush Zomorodi, the host of WNYC's "Note to Self" podcast, is an advocate for boredom because allowing our minds to wander, she says, can lead to problem solving and fresh ideas. Her book, "Bored and Brilliant: How Spacing Out Can Unlock Your Most Productive and Creative Self," stems from an experiment in which she convinced more than 20,000 listeners to try to disconnect from their phones, just be bored for a moment and jump-start their creativity.

3 Jan 201858min

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