The Sunday Read: ‘How I Learned That the Problem in My Marriage Was Me’
The Daily9 Mar

The Sunday Read: ‘How I Learned That the Problem in My Marriage Was Me’

One thing I’ve learned from being married to my wife, Jess, who is a couples therapist, is how vast the distance is between the masks people show to the world and the messy realities that live behind them. Every couple knows its own drama, but we still fall prey to the illusion that all other couples have seamlessly satisfying relationships. The truth about marriage — including my own — is that even the most functional couples are merely doing the best they can with the lives that have been bestowed on them.

This past spring, Jess and I had the first of eight sessions of couples therapy with Terry Real, a best-selling author and by far the most famous of the therapists we’ve seen during our marriage. Real, whose admirers include Gwyneth Paltrow and Bruce Springsteen, is one of a small number of thinkers who are actively shaping how the couples-therapy field is received by the public and practiced by other therapists. He is also the bluntest and most charismatic of the therapists I’ve seen, the New Jersey Jewish version of Robin Williams’s irascible Boston character in “Good Will Hunting” — profane, charismatic, open about his own life, forged in his own story of pain.

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Episoder(2678)

Thursday, Oct. 12, 2017

Thursday, Oct. 12, 2017

The United States sees North Korea as an existential threat: a hostile nation that is dangerously deluded and ready for war. But how does North Korea see the United States? We took a rare look inside the country. Guest: Nicholas Kristof, a New York Times columnist. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

12 Okt 201720min

Wednesday, Oct. 11, 2017

Wednesday, Oct. 11, 2017

More women are coming forward with their accounts of sexual harassment and assault in Hollywood, accusing the film producer Harvey Weinstein. Today, we hear one of those stories. Guests: Jodi Kantor, a New York Times reporter; Katherine Kendall, an actress who told The Times that Mr. Weinstein harassed her in his apartment in 1993. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

11 Okt 201727min

Tuesday, Oct. 10, 2017

Tuesday, Oct. 10, 2017

The Trump administration has rolled back two of President Barack Obama’s signature achievements. The repeal of the Clean Power Plan was billed as the end of a “war on coal.” And the end of a federal requirement that employers include birth control coverage in their health plans followed up on President Trump’s promise that “we will not allow people of faith to be targeted, bullied or silenced anymore.” Guests: Lisa Friedman, who covers climate and environmental policy for The Times; Gail Collins, a Times Op-Ed columnist. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

10 Okt 201723min

Monday, Oct. 9, 2017

Monday, Oct. 9, 2017

Two months after a white supremacist rally in Charlottesville, Va., turned violent, 200 employees of the American Civil Liberties Union have signed a letter saying that the organization’s “rigid stance” on the First Amendment undermines a broader mission that includes commitment to racial justice. Will the A.C.L.U. rethink its approach to free speech? Guests: Joseph Goldstein, a New York Times reporter; Abre’ Conner, an A.C.L.U. lawyer; David A. Goldberger, a former A.C.L.U. lawyer. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

9 Okt 201723min

Friday, Oct. 6, 2017

Friday, Oct. 6, 2017

A New York Times investigation has found three decades of sexual harassment allegations against the Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein. In response to that reporting, Mr. Weinstein released the following statement: “I realized some time ago that I needed to be a better person. Though I’m trying to do better, I know I have a long way to go.” A lawyer advising him said that the producer “denies many of the accusations as patently false.” Guests: Jodi Kantor and Megan Twohey, Times reporters. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

6 Okt 201723min

Thursday, Oct. 5, 2017

Thursday, Oct. 5, 2017

At least 12 of the weapons found in the hotel suite used by the gunman who killed 58 people in Las Vegas on Sunday had been modified. He used a device called a bump stock, which enables a semiautomatic rifle to fire faster, and can be purchased online. Guest: C. J. Chivers, a New York Times investigative reporter and Marine veteran. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

5 Okt 201721min

Wednesday, Oct. 4, 2017

Wednesday, Oct. 4, 2017

Every mass shooting in the United States is inevitably followed by a call for gun control, but major legislation never passes. We look at how the National Rifle Association became a powerful lobbying group. Also, a gun store owner talks about putting military-style weapons into the hands of civilians. Guests: Robert Draper, a writer at large for The New York Times Magazine; John Markell, the owner of a gun store in Roanoke, Va. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

4 Okt 201730min

Tuesday, Oct. 3, 2017

Tuesday, Oct. 3, 2017

A lone gunman booked a suite at a Las Vegas hotel, took aim at a crowd below and committed one of the deadliest mass shootings in American history. At least 59 people are dead, and more than 500 wounded. President Trump is scheduled to visit the city on Wednesday. Today, Mr. Trump is heading to Puerto Rico to survey the damage from Hurricane Maria. A reporter for The Times discusses what she has seen on the island. Guests: Richard Pérez-Peña, a national reporter for The Times; Frances Robles, a Times correspondent based in Miami. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

3 Okt 201723min

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