The Sunday Read: ‘How I Learned That the Problem in My Marriage Was Me’
The Daily9 Mar

The Sunday Read: ‘How I Learned That the Problem in My Marriage Was Me’

One thing I’ve learned from being married to my wife, Jess, who is a couples therapist, is how vast the distance is between the masks people show to the world and the messy realities that live behind them. Every couple knows its own drama, but we still fall prey to the illusion that all other couples have seamlessly satisfying relationships. The truth about marriage — including my own — is that even the most functional couples are merely doing the best they can with the lives that have been bestowed on them.

This past spring, Jess and I had the first of eight sessions of couples therapy with Terry Real, a best-selling author and by far the most famous of the therapists we’ve seen during our marriage. Real, whose admirers include Gwyneth Paltrow and Bruce Springsteen, is one of a small number of thinkers who are actively shaping how the couples-therapy field is received by the public and practiced by other therapists. He is also the bluntest and most charismatic of the therapists I’ve seen, the New Jersey Jewish version of Robin Williams’s irascible Boston character in “Good Will Hunting” — profane, charismatic, open about his own life, forged in his own story of pain.

Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

Episoder(2656)

Thursday, Feb. 9. 2017

Thursday, Feb. 9. 2017

Is Senator Warren actually a danger to the Democratic party? And what does Trump’s election mean for the markets? We discuss. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

9 Feb 201718min

Wednesday, Feb. 8, 2017

Wednesday, Feb. 8, 2017

The travel ban litigation, live-streamed. And why the 60-year-old words of the novelist James Baldwin captured in the film “I Am Not Your Negro” are so resonant right now. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

8 Feb 201720min

Tuesday, Feb. 7, 2017

Tuesday, Feb. 7, 2017

Why the nomination of Betsy DeVos for secretary of education is President Trump’s most controversial appointment in an already controversial cabinet. Plus: the meaning of four hardback chairs in the Oval Office. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

7 Feb 201719min

Monday, Feb. 6, 2017

Monday, Feb. 6, 2017

What single figure connects the 2008 financial crisis, the creation of the 2010 Dodd-Frank Act, the Tea Party movement, Donald J. Trump’s election and, now, the potential dismantling of the biggest safeguard against America’s economic ruin? His name is Gary D. Cohn. Also, a Times investigation goes inside the world of the Islamic State and finds that terrorists no longer have to cross borders to carry out their attacks. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

6 Feb 201719min

Friday, Feb. 3, 2017

Friday, Feb. 3, 2017

The biggest story in sports meets the biggest story in politics. And a bloody mission in Yemen reminds us that a new administration doesn’t always mean a new start. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

3 Feb 201716min

Thursday, Feb. 2, 2017

Thursday, Feb. 2, 2017

Who is influencing our new president’s views of Islam and radical Islamic terrorism? Are we seeing the beginning of a Tea Party for the Left? And why are its leaders looking to Republicans for inspiration? More on that — plus Beyoncé — on today’s show. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

2 Feb 201722min

Wednesday, Feb. 1, 2017

Wednesday, Feb. 1, 2017

In a ceremony made for prime-time television, President Trump announced his Supreme Court nominee: Neil M. Gorsuch, a conservative judge with a sterling résumé. We spent the night at The New York Times talking with some of our most insightful colleagues about what the nomination means. We also get on the phone with the chief executive of Hobby Lobby, a company at the center of one of Judge Gorsuch’s most important cases. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

1 Feb 201719min

Coming Soon: “The Daily”

Coming Soon: “The Daily”

This is how the news should sound. Fifteen minutes a day. Five days a week. Hosted by Michael Barbaro. Powered by New York Times journalism. Starting Feb. 1. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

17 Jan 20173min

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