80: Real Talk, About Being A Male Victim of Sexual and Physical Abuse – Brian Cardoza

80: Real Talk, About Being A Male Victim of Sexual and Physical Abuse – Brian Cardoza

Imagine hiding a secret that made you question who you are, if you did something wrong, and causing you to feel like you are not worthy. Now imagine all of this started for you when you were 3, 5, 12. It happened at an age where you were meant to trust an adult, not fear them. All of this weighing on you as you enter into middle school, high school, college, young adult life, and beyond - without anyone know the depth of your secret - that you were physically and sexaully abused. It' not an easy conversation, and that's why we're having it today.

Brian Cardoza, joins me as the two of talk about our experiences of being sexually and physically abused as young me, the toll it has taken on our lives and how we finally found the power to report and talk about it. We know there are many men out there who still struggle to find their voice in this arena so they can be heard, release their pain, and heal. That's why we're having the difficult but necessary conversation today.

About Brian

"We become a Superhero", writes adult Brian Cardoza in a letter to his 6-year-old self. "We are mighty little one. And we are brave." Brian suffered repeated sexual assault and physical abuse as a child. He left home at the age of fifteen, nearly freezing to death the first night on his own. Brian knows the trauma and despair victims must overcome to survive. He not only chose to survive, he chose to give voice to an unspeakable topic and to challenge the stigma and shame often associated with male survivors of abuse.

Now an inspirational speaker, author, and artist, Brian's message is one of responsibility and hope, and he works diligently to raise awareness and money to fight against childhood sexual assault and physical abuse. A believer in the potential to change, Brian's motto, "Don't let this moment dictate the next moment" is familiar to many he inspires.

Brian and his story are featured in a number of national and international projects including a documentary for the EU, Forced, Promise Place's documentary Ripple Effects, The BristleCone Project, and Huffington Post's HuffPost Live segment for Child Abuse Awareness Month. He has been a contributing poet for Purple Sparks and a keynote speaker for a multitude of events highlighting abuse. And he's a certified OVC TTAC Consultant and RAINN Speaker.

Brian's love for art began with drawing as a child. He experimented with different mediums from charcoal to stone sculpting. Stopping for a number of years to focus on culinary endeavors, Brian picked art back up at a time when he felt most alone. Today, Brian's art takes various forms including magnificently colored refurbished bicycles that he donates to children. He's passionate about learning new techniques and styles and the creative process continues to heal the child within.

Brian founded The Broken Knee Club, a non-profit organization created to provide a safe haven for all sexes to comfortably speak out about their experience of childhood and adult sexual assault. In collaboration with others, Brian is building Survivor Knights, a community healing through creative expression. Survivor Knights' exhibits highlight the enormity of the journey from trauma to healing through dark and bright works of art. Brian's words of encouragement to survivors, "Your darkest moments may be the light for another."

Connect With Brian

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178: How To Not Lose Yourself As Your Parents Age – Rick Clemons

178: How To Not Lose Yourself As Your Parents Age – Rick Clemons

Aging and losing our parents is inevitable. Losing ourselves and having no life doesn't have to be inevitable. As much as you love your parents, don't forget that you are part of the equation and you need to take care of you and have your life so that you can take care of them. Let's explore the right balance of making room for you and for them as we all age, after 40. Join Our Live 40 Plus Gay Men, Gay Talk Chats The first Monday of each month at 6:00 p.m. Pacific, we gather together on a zoom chat to talk about the stuff us gay gays aren't talking about but should - careers, finances, sex, love, health, coming out - all that stuff that we think we're talking about but aren't. It's fun, it builds community, and you never know when you just might make a great connection or a friend. Click Here To Join The Calls! P.S. get your free My Bold Life Manifesto, right here - rickclemons.com/manifesto/ You can also listen to the podcast on…

24 Jun 202211min

177 – How To Be Proud About Coming Out Late In Life – Rick Clemons

177 – How To Be Proud About Coming Out Late In Life – Rick Clemons

You're not late to the game, nor have you wasted too much time. You're simply showing up out of the closet when it best fits for you and your life. Now start being comfortable and proud about that. Here's a few tips for embracing your late in life, coming out journey! Join Our Live 40 Plus Gay Men, Gay Talk Chats The first Monday of each month at 6:00 p.m. Pacific, we gather together on a zoom chat to talk about the stuff us gay gays aren't talking about but should - careers, finances, sex, love, health, coming out - all that stuff that we think we're talking about but aren't. It's fun, it builds community, and you never know when you just might make a great connection or a friend. Click Here To Join The Calls! P.S. get your free My Bold Life Manifesto, right here - rickclemons.com/manifesto/ You can also listen to the podcast on…

17 Jun 20228min

176: Overcoming External Validation Syndrome – Rick Clemons

176: Overcoming External Validation Syndrome – Rick Clemons

You do not, do not, do not, need someone elses validation to make your 40+ gay life complete. If you think you do, then that is why so many things are out of balance for you and your life. Let's change that by stepping up to the plate and validating yourself, then anything coming from outside of you is just the icing on the cake. Take a listen and learn how to give yourself that validation. Join Our Live 40 Plus Gay Men, Gay Talk Chats The first Monday of each month at 6:00 p.m. Pacific, we gather together on a zoom chat to talk about the stuff us gay gays aren't talking about but should - careers, finances, sex, love, health, coming out - all that stuff that we think we're talking about but aren't. It's fun, it builds community, and you never know when you just might make a great connection or a friend. Click Here To Join The Calls! P.S. get your free My Bold Life Manifesto, right here - rickclemons.com/manifesto/ You can also listen to the podcast on…

10 Jun 20228min

175: Having PRIDE at Any Age and Stage of Your Gay Life – Rick Clemons

175: Having PRIDE at Any Age and Stage of Your Gay Life – Rick Clemons

It's PRIDE month, but PRIDE should be something as a guy over 40, you should have in yourself all year long. Every day, in every way. But what do you do when you question that PRIDE in yourself, and buy into the crap of "I have nothing to be proud about in my life"? You listen to this short little podcast about building up your pride and truly loving your 40+ gay self - every minute of every day! Join Our Live 40 Plus Gay Men, Gay Talk Chats The first Monday of each month at 6:00 p.m. Pacific, we gather together on a zoom chat to talk about the stuff us gay gays aren't talking about but should - careers, finances, sex, love, health, coming out - all that stuff that we think we're talking about but aren't. It's fun, it builds community, and you never know when you just might make a great connection or a friend. Click Here To Join The Calls! P.S. get your free My Bold Life Manifesto, right here - rickclemons.com/manifesto/ You can also listen to the podcast on…

3 Jun 20228min

174: Gay Dad, Jocks, and Athletics: Oh MY! – Bradley Jacobs

174: Gay Dad, Jocks, and Athletics: Oh MY! – Bradley Jacobs

A sports-phobic single gay dad faces his longtime insecurities about jocks and athletics when his son lands a spot in a competitive NYC travel soccer league. Does this sound like a nightmare, reality, or a new TV Sitcom. All of the above and it is all brought to you by writer, journalist and hopeful TV Writer of a new sitcom - looking for a home - Bradley Jacobs. No he's not looking for a home but his sitcom, "One of the Guys," to bring laughter, empathy, and understanding to the life of gay parents and their journey with their children in a straight, dominated world. About Bradley Bradley Jacobs (also known as BJ) grew up in Santa Monica, California, and graduated from Northwestern’s Medill School of Journalism. He has served as a writer and editor at Newsweek, Entertainment Weekly, Bloomberg, and Us Weekly, attending the Oscars and Sundance and regularly discussing showbiz news on CNN and MSNBC. His collection of essays on the ups and downs of being a gay dad for Shondaland, USA Today, Mom.com and more inspired his 2022 comedy pilot, “One of the Guys.” He's also the author of “The Bungalow,” a short about four-times-wed “Rebel Without a Cause” director Nicholas Ray’s secret romance with future Oscar-nominee Gavin Lambert. Connect With Bradley Website Facebook Instagram Twitter LinkedIn Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus Men's Circle. Learn about about - Click Here! Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies P.S. get your free My Bold Life Manifesto, right here - rickclemons.com/manifesto/ You can also listen to the podcast on…

27 Mai 202238min

173: No more neckties…Just Be Gay – Dr. Loren A. Olsen, MD

173: No more neckties…Just Be Gay – Dr. Loren A. Olsen, MD

Many of us as gay men grew up always doing what was expected of us, trying to fit in, compartmentalizing our lives and never letting anyone see the side of us that unacceptable. We end up feeling isolated and alone, but we do what we do to be successful by every other external measure until the pain becomes to great. In his new book, No More Neckties: A Memoir in Essays, Dr. Loren A. Olsen, MD, flings open the doors and reveals he wasn’t always a good boy. While not always noble and admirable, his stories show humanness to which everyone can relate: Love and heartbreak Cheating and forgiveness Suicide and secrets Men’s body image and sexuality Being old and gay In this book, Olson sends readers a message of hope and compassion, letting them know they are not alone in dealing with the hard stuff in their lives. Today he joins us to explore why it's time to ditch the neckties of living a joyless life. About Loren Dr. Loren A. Olson, MD, is the award-winning author of Finally Out: Letting Go of Living Straight and a distinguished life fellow of the American Psychiatric Association. A physician for over 50 years, he served as a flight surgeon in the US Navy and continues to practice psychiatry. A well-regarded essayist and popular speaker on mental health and LGBTQ issues, he has been interviewed on regional and national television, national and international radio, and in multiple print and online publications. Dr. Olson is the father of two daughters and a proud grandfather. A native of Wakefield, Nebraska, and a graduate of the University of Nebraska Medical School, he lives in Des Moines, Iowa, with Doug Mortimer, his husband and life partner of 35 years. His latest book is No More Neckties: A Memoir in Essays. Connect With Mike Website Facebook Instagram Twitter Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus Men's Circle. Learn about about - Click Here! Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies P.S. get your free My Bold Life Manifesto, right here - rickclemons.com/manifesto/ You can also listen to the podcast on… <a href="http://tun.in/pjrug"...

20 Mai 202258min

172: Moving Past Being “Friendzoned” – Rick Clemons

172: Moving Past Being “Friendzoned” – Rick Clemons

We've all been there and you are NOT alone. Friendzoned! It isn't fun and it can truly screw with your confidence and cause you to lose hope in ever finding a man and being in a relationship. But fear not gay men, there is life after being Friendzoned and here's how to move forward. Join Our Live 40 Plus Gay Men, Gay Talk Chats The first Monday of each month at 6:00 p.m. Pacific, we gather together on a zoom chat to talk about the stuff us gay gays aren't talking about but should - careers, finances, sex, love, health, coming out - all that stuff that we think we're talking about but aren't. It's fun, it builds community, and you never know when you just might make a great connection or a friend. Click Here To Join The Calls! P.S. get your free My Bold Life Manifesto, right here - rickclemons.com/manifesto/ You can also listen to the podcast on…

13 Mai 202212min

171: Are You Making Room For A Man In Your Life? – Rick Clemons

171: Are You Making Room For A Man In Your Life? – Rick Clemons

You want a man, you feel like you need a man (even though you don't) yet, are you making room for a man in your life? Once we hit our 40+ lives as gay men, we may not be making room for a man in our life, and that harsh truth is what we are exploring today plus some ways to open up that door and make room in your life for Mr. Man. Join Our Live 40 Plus Gay Men, Gay Talk Chats The first Monday of each month at 6:00 p.m. Pacific, we gather together on a zoom chat to talk about the stuff us gay gays aren't talking about but should - careers, finances, sex, love, health, coming out - all that stuff that we think we're talking about but aren't. It's fun, it builds community, and you never know when you just might make a great connection or a friend. Click Here To Join The Calls! P.S. get your free My Bold Life Manifesto, right here - rickclemons.com/manifesto/ You can also listen to the podcast on…

6 Mai 20228min

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