Should You Fire Your Boyfriend?
IT Stress Relief21 Sep 2025

Should You Fire Your Boyfriend?

Today, Gena reflects on a unique question ‘Should you fire your boyfriend if they underperform?’. Drawing a parallel between professional and personal boundaries, Gena shares her own recent experiences with a toxic relationship. She candidly discusses the challenges of being the primary earner and caregiver, the emotional and financial burnout she experienced, and her journey to reclaiming her sense of self-worth. You can support us here: https://gofund.me/176cb5c7 KEY TAKEAWAYS Just as there are clear boundaries in a professional setting, we should have standards and boundaries for our personal relationships. A healthy relationship provides a positive "return on investment" (ROI) in three key areas: emotion, esteem, and energy. An unhealthy one results in a negative ROI. Manipulative individuals, like narcissists, will try to change your perception of reality and dismiss your concerns. Gena shares how an AI assistant helped her identify this behaviour. Success isn't always about career or financial achievements; sometimes, true success is the deep sense of peace and relief that comes from removing yourself from a stressful and unhealthy situation. BEST MOMENTS "How many of us actually have standards and boundaries when it comes to what type of relationships we are willing to accept as adequate and good from our boyfriends or girlfriends, spouses, and also friends?" "A healthy relationship provides a positive return on investment through mutual respect, support, and connection, while an unhealthy one can result in negative equity where you lose out on self-esteem, trust, and energy." "My cortisol most likely have been through the roof. I found that I was investing too much of my emotional energy trying to reason logically with a person who was never going to do that for me." "The whole in my financial and emotional bank was just getting bigger and bigger, 'til the point I think I just burned out, both financially and emotionally." HOST BIO Gena Frangina, a seasoned software engineer with over a decade of industry experience, is your trusted host on the "IT Stress Relief" Podcast. Her unique background includes a profound passion for psychology, culminating in the attainment of a Business Psychology MSc. Gena's diverse skill set extends to accreditation as a Hypnotherapist, under the tutelage of Paul McKenna and his renowned team, as well as expertise in wellness coaching. This extensive blend of technical acumen and psychological insight positions Gena as an exceptional host in the IT world. She not only understands the intricacies of the field but also excels in guiding IT professionals towards holistic well-being. Tune in to Gena's podcast for enlightening interviews with IT specialists, and gain access to a wealth of knowledge. https://genafrangina.com/podcast/ https://www.facebook.com/gena.frangina IG: @gena.frangina This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

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Episoder(51)

Attention Hygiene: Why Your Brain Needs a Break from Input

Attention Hygiene: Why Your Brain Needs a Break from Input

In this episode, Gena dissects the invisible drain on modern tech workers: constant digital interruptions. Examining the issue through an IT and clinical psychology lens, she reveals how endless notif...

6 Sep 28min

What If AI Makes Me Obsolete? Navigating Career Anxiety in Tech

What If AI Makes Me Obsolete? Navigating Career Anxiety in Tech

In this episode, Gena tackles the unspoken fear weighing heavily on tech workers today: "What if AI makes me obsolete?" Examining the issue through both an IT and clinical psychology lens, Gina explai...

23 Aug 21min

Beyond Coding: Why the Future of Software Engineering Needs Philosophy

Beyond Coding: Why the Future of Software Engineering Needs Philosophy

In this episode, Gena sits down with Li Zhang, a veteran software engineer, former project manager, and founder of Code Future. Li shares her global journey across Shanghai, New York, and the UK, offe...

6 Aug 1h 3min

Beyond Tiredness: Context Switching, Decision Fatigue, and the IT Mind

Beyond Tiredness: Context Switching, Decision Fatigue, and the IT Mind

In this episode, Gena addresses a common experience for tech and IT professionals: end-of-day brain fog. Rather than brushing it off as mere physical tiredness or a lack of discipline, Gena breaks dow...

26 Jul 10min

Say It Clearly Enough: Mastering Difficult Tech Conversations

Say It Clearly Enough: Mastering Difficult Tech Conversations

In this episode, Gina tackles a surprising yet universal source of anxiety in the tech world: everyday difficult conversations. Whether you are pushing back on unrealistic timelines, delivering honest...

10 Jul 9min

Redefining Reliability: How to Stop Carrying Everyone Else's Problems

Redefining Reliability: How to Stop Carrying Everyone Else's Problems

In this episode, Gena explores the double-edged sword of being the "reliable one" in the tech industry. While being the go-to problem solver often earns respect and trust, it frequently comes with a h...

22 Jun 9min

Why You Can't Switch Off After Work

Why You Can't Switch Off After Work

You close the laptop, nothing's urgent — and yet your mind is still running, replaying conversations and checking messages "just in case." If that sounds familiar, the problem isn't your discipline. ...

7 Jun 10min

LLMDay London 2026: Navigating the Human Side of AI and Tech Burnout

LLMDay London 2026: Navigating the Human Side of AI and Tech Burnout

Ever feel like you’re running a race against an algorithm that never sleeps? While the industry focuses on the dazzling potential of large language models and autonomous agents, there is a quieter con...

28 Mai 12min

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