Episode 52: When You Can't Fix It: Writing to Make Peace With What Is

We’re surrounded by cultural images of the “perfect” holiday table — smiling families, gratitude flowing, laughter in every corner. And sometimes it does look like that. But often, it doesn’t.

Maybe there’s an empty chair. Maybe there’s a rift that hasn’t healed. Maybe you’re walking into tension that’s been simmering for years. Or maybe you just don’t feel joy this season because grief, exhaustion, or disappointment are louder than gratitude.

Here’s the truth: we can’t always fix it. We can’t bring people back, force others to change, or erase years of brokenness in a single meal. But we can write our way toward peace — peace with what is, even when what is feels far from perfect.

Step One: Name What Is Radical honesty is the first step toward acceptance. Instead of minimizing, notice and write what’s actually true.

👉 Prompts:

• “What feels unfixable right now is…”
• “The grief I’m carrying into this holiday is…”
• “The tension I feel around my family is…”
• “If I stopped minimizing, I’d admit…”

Naming reality doesn’t make you weaker. It makes you more resilient, because you stop fighting shadows and deal with what’s real.

Step Two: Release the Illusion of Control In CBT, we call this differentiating controllables from uncontrollables. Much of our suffering comes from overestimating what’s in our control and underestimating our ability to choose our response.

👉 Prompts:

• “What I wish I could change about this situation is…”
• “The expectation I keep holding onto is…”
• “What I’ve tried to fix but can’t is…”
• “The part I need to release is…”

Carmichael again reminds us:

“He said, ‘I will accept the death of dear desire, Imprisoned higher, No longer mine to claim. I lay it down. And in its silent place, There burns a steadier flame, A light of peace.’”

Step Three: Choose Peace in the Middle of It Acceptance is not resignation. It’s active. It’s saying, “I don’t control everything, but I do control how I think, how I show up, and what I anchor in.”

👉 Prompts:

• “Even though this is hard, the way I want to show up is…”
• “The anchor truth I choose to hold is…”
• “My intention for this holiday is…”

Music by Aleksey Chistilin from Pixabay