80: Real Talk, About Being A Male Victim of Sexual and Physical Abuse – Brian Cardoza

80: Real Talk, About Being A Male Victim of Sexual and Physical Abuse – Brian Cardoza

Imagine hiding a secret that made you question who you are, if you did something wrong, and causing you to feel like you are not worthy. Now imagine all of this started for you when you were 3, 5, 12. It happened at an age where you were meant to trust an adult, not fear them. All of this weighing on you as you enter into middle school, high school, college, young adult life, and beyond - without anyone know the depth of your secret - that you were physically and sexaully abused. It' not an easy conversation, and that's why we're having it today.

Brian Cardoza, joins me as the two of talk about our experiences of being sexually and physically abused as young me, the toll it has taken on our lives and how we finally found the power to report and talk about it. We know there are many men out there who still struggle to find their voice in this arena so they can be heard, release their pain, and heal. That's why we're having the difficult but necessary conversation today.

About Brian

"We become a Superhero", writes adult Brian Cardoza in a letter to his 6-year-old self. "We are mighty little one. And we are brave." Brian suffered repeated sexual assault and physical abuse as a child. He left home at the age of fifteen, nearly freezing to death the first night on his own. Brian knows the trauma and despair victims must overcome to survive. He not only chose to survive, he chose to give voice to an unspeakable topic and to challenge the stigma and shame often associated with male survivors of abuse.

Now an inspirational speaker, author, and artist, Brian's message is one of responsibility and hope, and he works diligently to raise awareness and money to fight against childhood sexual assault and physical abuse. A believer in the potential to change, Brian's motto, "Don't let this moment dictate the next moment" is familiar to many he inspires.

Brian and his story are featured in a number of national and international projects including a documentary for the EU, Forced, Promise Place's documentary Ripple Effects, The BristleCone Project, and Huffington Post's HuffPost Live segment for Child Abuse Awareness Month. He has been a contributing poet for Purple Sparks and a keynote speaker for a multitude of events highlighting abuse. And he's a certified OVC TTAC Consultant and RAINN Speaker.

Brian's love for art began with drawing as a child. He experimented with different mediums from charcoal to stone sculpting. Stopping for a number of years to focus on culinary endeavors, Brian picked art back up at a time when he felt most alone. Today, Brian's art takes various forms including magnificently colored refurbished bicycles that he donates to children. He's passionate about learning new techniques and styles and the creative process continues to heal the child within.

Brian founded The Broken Knee Club, a non-profit organization created to provide a safe haven for all sexes to comfortably speak out about their experience of childhood and adult sexual assault. In collaboration with others, Brian is building Survivor Knights, a community healing through creative expression. Survivor Knights' exhibits highlight the enormity of the journey from trauma to healing through dark and bright works of art. Brian's words of encouragement to survivors, "Your darkest moments may be the light for another."

Connect With Brian

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Episoder(300)

162: Give yourself a little RESPECT – Rick Clemons

162: Give yourself a little RESPECT – Rick Clemons

As the queen of soul sez: R-E-S-P-E-C-T. It is time to respect yourself and if you don't then that is on you, and only you. Because self-respect is where confidence grows. And as another queen sez (RuPaul) - If you can't respect yourself, how the hell you going to respect someone else. Ok I took some liberties with that one, but you know RuPaul would agree with those sentiments too. Now listen and learn how to R-E-S-P-E-C-T yourself. Join Our Live 40 Plus Gay Men, Gay Talk Chats The first Monday of each month at 6:00 p.m. Pacific, we gather together on a zoom chat to talk about the stuff us gay gays aren't talking about but should - careers, finances, sex, love, health - all that stuff that we think we're talking about but aren't. It's fun, it builds community, and you never know when you just might make a great connection or a friend. Click Here To Join The Calls! P.S. get your free My Bold Life Manifesto, right here - rickclemons.com/manifesto/ You can also listen to the podcast on…

4 Mar 20229min

161: Skin Care, Plastics, And All That Anti-Aging Jazz – J. Shea Terry

161: Skin Care, Plastics, And All That Anti-Aging Jazz – J. Shea Terry

Like it or not, all of us gay men are aging. It's a conveyor belt and there is nothing we can do about it. Nor should we feel pressure to do something about it. Yet, some gay men do choose cosmetic surgery and skin care regimes to make themselves feel comfortable in their aging bodies. Then others do what they do to ensure they take the best care of their bodies in a way that suits them. Rather than be judgy about men who choose skin care, botox, and cosmetic surgeries, listen and learn and you just might be surprised what you might be able to do to be more comfortable in your own skin, without being a cosmetic surgery horror story. About J. Shea Terry J. Shea Terry is a Practice Integration and Development specialist in the medical industry who knows a thing or two about taking good care of yourself and making you feel good about how you look, without going to the extremes in the world of cosmetic surgery. From skin care to botox and natural approach cosmetic surgery, J. Shea Terry guides clients in the best possible approaches for making the most of what they have to work with to love who they are in the conveyor belt of aging. Connect With J. Shea Terry Website LinkedIn Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus Men's Circle. Learn about about - Click Here! Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies P.S. get your free My Bold Life Manifesto, right here - rickclemons.com/manifesto/ You can also listen to the podcast on…

25 Feb 202248min

160: Do we really have to play sexual roles? – Rick Clemons

160: Do we really have to play sexual roles? – Rick Clemons

Roles, roles, roles. Everyone wants us to play some role so that it makes it easier to relate to them. We all do it, and don't say you don't. Yet, as gay men, we feel like we have to fit into some constrained role to make our gay lives work...or do we. We're rolling out the roles and saying now more as we explore the sexual roles we play as gay men! Join Our Live 40 Plus Gay Men, Gay Talk Chats The first Monday of each month at 6:00 p.m. Pacific, we gather together on a zoom chat to talk about the stuff us gay gays aren't talking about but should - careers, finances, sex, love, health - all that stuff that we think we're talking about but aren't. It's fun, it builds community, and you never know when you just might make a great connection or a friend. Click Here To Join The Calls! P.S. get your free My Bold Life Manifesto, right here - rickclemons.com/manifesto/ You can also listen to the podcast on…

18 Feb 20228min

159: Loving Yourself This Valentine’s Day – Steve Disselhorst

159: Loving Yourself This Valentine’s Day – Steve Disselhorst

Valentine's Day is just a few days away. So let's start crying the blues about what sucks about being a gay man and no one to love. Nah. Let's not do that. Let's talk about the challenges of not having someone to love but what we can do to be more in love with our lives and ourselves this Valentines Day. Joining me is fellow coach and gay dad, Steve Disselhorst as we dish it about love, careers, aging, health, and all that jazz before we let Cupid's Arrow hit the target of love in our lives. After all, cupid is kinda cute so why not get a few tips on loving what you got instead of hating what you don't have. About Steve Steve Disselhorst specializes in personal & professional leadership development and consulting for diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) and is the author of the memoir Determined To Be Dad: A Journey of Faith, Resilience, and Love. Before founding his firm, Steve worked for Genentech, a biotech company, and is a veteran healthcare marketer. Currently, he serves on the San Mateo County LGBTQ Commission and is a speaker for the San Francisco LGBTQ Speaker’s Bureau. Steve is the father of two wonderful children who are the center of his world. Connect With Steve Website Get Steve's Book Facebook LinkedIn Twitter Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus Men's Circle. Learn about about - Click Here! Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies P.S. get your free My Bold Life Manifesto, right here - rickclemons.com/manifesto/ You can also listen to the podcast on…

11 Feb 202241min

158: Conquering The Confidence Conundrum – Rick Clemons

158: Conquering The Confidence Conundrum – Rick Clemons

How do you as a gay man, conquer the confidence conundrum? we say the last part of that question 3 times really fast, and if you can say that, you've got confidence! Just kidding. But, gaining/finding confidence as a gay man, is about as close as grabbing your middle leg and stroking it to life. Yes, it is that easy to find your confidence if you are willing to do a little bit of work. Listen and learn how! Join Our Live 40 Plus Gay Men, Gay Talk Chats The first Monday of each month at 6:00 p.m. Pacific, we gather together on a zoom chat to talk about the stuff us gay gays aren't talking about but should - careers, finances, sex, love, health - all that stuff that we think we're talking about but aren't. It's fun, it builds community, and you never know when you just might make a great connection or a friend. Click Here To Join The Calls! P.S. get your free My Bold Life Manifesto, right here - rickclemons.com/manifesto/ You can also listen to the podcast on…

4 Feb 20229min

157: Yup. You’re No Good At Gay Sex! Really? – Rick Clemons

157: Yup. You’re No Good At Gay Sex! Really? – Rick Clemons

The clothes are coming off. Your heart's racing and an appendage is growing, and you can't wait to touch him and have him touch you. Then your head - the one above your shoulders starts creating a story that - you're no good, you're no good, you're no good - buddy you're no good at this SEX thing. Get over it. You're good you just need to figure it out and own it! Let's go have some fun exploring being good at gay sex! Join Our Live 40 Plus Gay Men, Gay Talk Chats The first Monday of each month at 6:00 p.m. Pacific, we gather together on a zoom chat to talk about the stuff us gay gays aren't talking about but should - careers, finances, sex, love, health - all that stuff that we think we're talking about but aren't. It's fun, it builds community, and you never know when you just might make a great connection or a friend. Click Here To Join The Calls! P.S. get your free My Bold Life Manifesto, right here - rickclemons.com/manifesto/ You can also listen to the podcast on…

28 Jan 202210min

156: How Do You Do Gay – Rick Clemons

156: How Do You Do Gay – Rick Clemons

The biggest question I get asked, by guys coming out of the closet, is not how do you take a big penis, it's how do you do gay? Ok, maybe the penis question comes up to, but today we're exploring how you do gay, whether you've been out since you were a teen or just coming out after 30, 40, 50, 60, 70 years old, or older. Let's go explore how you do gay! Join Our Live 40 Plus Gay Men, Gay Talk Chats The first Monday of each month at 6:00 p.m. Pacific, we gather together on a zoom chat to talk about the stuff us gay gays aren't talking about but should - careers, finances, sex, love, health - all that stuff that we think we're talking about but aren't. It's fun, it builds community, and you never know when you just might make a great connection or a friend. Click Here To Join The Calls! P.S. get your free My Bold Life Manifesto, right here - rickclemons.com/manifesto/ You can also listen to the podcast on…

21 Jan 202212min

155 – There is Gay Life Beyond Prostate Cancer – Kenneth A. Johnson

155 – There is Gay Life Beyond Prostate Cancer – Kenneth A. Johnson

OMG. My penis no longer works, and my prostate no longer feels pleasure. My life is over! That may be the way it seems, but does having and living with prostate cancer mean, your life is over as a gay man? No! Just ask today's guest, Kenneth A. Johnson. He's living his life to its fullest, owning his challenges with his prostate and sex life, and thriving beyond what would cause most gay men to say, "Screw it. No more sex for me!" This is his awe inspiring story and advice. About Kenneth Kenneth is first and foremost the son and only child of Alvin and Nautherine Johnson. Born in Baltimore and raised in Reisterstown, MD, he currently resides in Washington, DC, after living 23 years in Atlanta. Kenneth has worked professionally as an analyst with the federal government for over 34 years. His personal life has included volunteer work with a host of non-profits including the Atlanta Pride Committee, Black and White Men Together of Atlanta, Friends of the Library, and Atlanta neighborhood-based organizations. Since living in DC, Kenneth helped birth and currently leads a support group for gay men with prostate cancer as a positive consequence of his own 5-year health adventure. He was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2016. For fun, Kenneth enjoys time and roadtrips with his parents (frequently to the family homestead in rural Alabama), reading his bookclub’s monthly selection, and binging on Hallmark movies during the holidays. Kenneth tries to live by his personal motto, “Be kind! Be intentional!” and his tattoo collection includes the biblical verses that guide his life: 1 Corinthians 13:13 and Philippians 4:13. Connect With Kenneth Website Facebook Instagram Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus Men's Circle. Learn about about - Click Here! Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies P.S. get your free My Bold Life Manifesto, right here - rickclemons.com/manifesto/ You can also listen to the podcast on… <img...

14 Jan 202248min

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