80: Real Talk, About Being A Male Victim of Sexual and Physical Abuse – Brian Cardoza

80: Real Talk, About Being A Male Victim of Sexual and Physical Abuse – Brian Cardoza

Imagine hiding a secret that made you question who you are, if you did something wrong, and causing you to feel like you are not worthy. Now imagine all of this started for you when you were 3, 5, 12. It happened at an age where you were meant to trust an adult, not fear them. All of this weighing on you as you enter into middle school, high school, college, young adult life, and beyond - without anyone know the depth of your secret - that you were physically and sexaully abused. It' not an easy conversation, and that's why we're having it today.

Brian Cardoza, joins me as the two of talk about our experiences of being sexually and physically abused as young me, the toll it has taken on our lives and how we finally found the power to report and talk about it. We know there are many men out there who still struggle to find their voice in this arena so they can be heard, release their pain, and heal. That's why we're having the difficult but necessary conversation today.

About Brian

"We become a Superhero", writes adult Brian Cardoza in a letter to his 6-year-old self. "We are mighty little one. And we are brave." Brian suffered repeated sexual assault and physical abuse as a child. He left home at the age of fifteen, nearly freezing to death the first night on his own. Brian knows the trauma and despair victims must overcome to survive. He not only chose to survive, he chose to give voice to an unspeakable topic and to challenge the stigma and shame often associated with male survivors of abuse.

Now an inspirational speaker, author, and artist, Brian's message is one of responsibility and hope, and he works diligently to raise awareness and money to fight against childhood sexual assault and physical abuse. A believer in the potential to change, Brian's motto, "Don't let this moment dictate the next moment" is familiar to many he inspires.

Brian and his story are featured in a number of national and international projects including a documentary for the EU, Forced, Promise Place's documentary Ripple Effects, The BristleCone Project, and Huffington Post's HuffPost Live segment for Child Abuse Awareness Month. He has been a contributing poet for Purple Sparks and a keynote speaker for a multitude of events highlighting abuse. And he's a certified OVC TTAC Consultant and RAINN Speaker.

Brian's love for art began with drawing as a child. He experimented with different mediums from charcoal to stone sculpting. Stopping for a number of years to focus on culinary endeavors, Brian picked art back up at a time when he felt most alone. Today, Brian's art takes various forms including magnificently colored refurbished bicycles that he donates to children. He's passionate about learning new techniques and styles and the creative process continues to heal the child within.

Brian founded The Broken Knee Club, a non-profit organization created to provide a safe haven for all sexes to comfortably speak out about their experience of childhood and adult sexual assault. In collaboration with others, Brian is building Survivor Knights, a community healing through creative expression. Survivor Knights' exhibits highlight the enormity of the journey from trauma to healing through dark and bright works of art. Brian's words of encouragement to survivors, "Your darkest moments may be the light for another."

Connect With Brian

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Episoder(300)

154: Breaking The “I don’t know syndrome!” – Rick Clemons

154: Breaking The “I don’t know syndrome!” – Rick Clemons

It's the beginning of the year, and what do you want to do with this year? I don't know! What do you want from this year? I don't know! What would make you feel fulfilled this year? I don't know! Fine, then sit on your little victim, wandering in the desert of your lost life, and just keep saying, "I don't know!" Or, break the "I don't know" syndrome and get shit done this year. Take a listen and learn to the possibilities that await you when "I don't know," becomes "I do know!" Join Our Live 40 Plus Gay Men, Gay Talk Chats The first Monday of each month at 6:00 p.m. Pacific, we gather together on a zoom chat to talk about the stuff us gay gays aren't talking about but should - careers, finances, sex, love, health - all that stuff that we think we're talking about but aren't. It's fun, it builds community, and you never know when you just might make a great connection or a friend. Click Here To Join The Calls! P.S. get your free My Bold Life Manifesto, right here - rickclemons.com/manifesto/ You can also listen to the podcast on…

7 Jan 202210min

153: Ready. Set. Let Your Intentions Guide You in 2022 -Rick Clemons

153: Ready. Set. Let Your Intentions Guide You in 2022 -Rick Clemons

Do not set a New Year's Resolution. Do not head out to that party dreading the start of another year. Do not do anything that you do not plan to do without a solid INTENTION. That's my advice for this coming year, and every year. And, here's how you do a new year filled with intentions! That is if you want to up your game and your life as a gay guy in 2022! Download The Manifesto Click Here Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus Men's Circle. Learn about about - Click Here! Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies P.S. get your free My Bold Life Manifesto, right here - rickclemons.com/manifesto/ You can also listen to the podcast on…

31 Des 20218min

152: 12 Gifts You Should Give Yourself This Holiday – Rick Clemons

152: 12 Gifts You Should Give Yourself This Holiday – Rick Clemons

You're running yourself ragged, trying to get all the right gifts for everyone. But, what have you done for you? What gift are you going to give yourself? And don't go saying, "That's so selfish!" There's nothing selfish about giving yourself a gift this holiday season, and here's a few gifts you should consider. Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus Men's Circle. Learn about about - Click Here! Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies P.S. get your free My Bold Life Manifesto, right here - rickclemons.com/manifesto/ You can also listen to the podcast on…

24 Des 202118min

151: Healing Religious Wounds – Eric Feltes

151: Healing Religious Wounds – Eric Feltes

Religious trauma. Seems to be the norm for a majority of LGBTQ people that you encoutner. "You're damned to hell!" or "You're a sinner!" Of course most those people hurling those words for get that they're divorced (a sin), have committed adultery (a sin), have eaten pig (a sin), worn woven fabrics (a sin), but all of that is forgivable, but you just can't be a man and lay with another man, or a woman and lay with another woman - well women that's ok because men find that pleasing to their naughty little minds. We listen up sinners, there's a new minister in town and his name is Eric Feltes and he is sashaying his way into your world on Instagram and TikTok show you a new light for accepting yourself and moving past your religious trauma.  And, if you are 40+ and still dealing with these wounds, you will surely want to listen up buttercup. About Eric Through creativity, authenticity, and courage, Eric Feltes cultivates connection and tells stories in order to inspire others to love themselves and the world around them. In his professional life, he does this through acting and life coaching. Through his coaching business, Eric helps other gay men free themselves from Church shame, a topic he knows a great deal about, seeing as he has lived through this trauma himself. In his free time, Eric loves spending time with his dog, his twenty plants, and his close friends in Los Angeles. Connect With Eric Website TickTock Instagram Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus Men's Circle. Learn about about - Click Here! Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies P.S. get your free My Bold Life Manifesto, right here - rickclemons.com/manifesto/ You can also listen to the podcast on…

17 Des 202148min

150: What if there were no hook-up apps? – Rick Clemons

150: What if there were no hook-up apps? – Rick Clemons

What if there were no Grindr, Scruff, Adam4Adam? What would you do? Get out and meet guys? Resort to hooking up in the back of bars or restrooms? Or Isolating? Regardless of what you use the in-your-hand apps for, your world may just come to an end...or would it? That's what we're exploring today on the 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk podcast. Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus Men's Circle. Learn about about - Click Here! Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies P.S. get your free My Bold Life Manifesto, right here - rickclemons.com/manifesto/ You can also listen to the podcast on…

10 Des 20217min

149: You’re Never Too Old To Say – Judge Me Not – James Merrick

149: You’re Never Too Old To Say – Judge Me Not – James Merrick

From a young age, the fear of God caused him to tremble in his boots about his secret. Then, in his 40's he could no longer live within that secret, and he realized he had to be who he was, a gay man. Then he made national headlines by taking a stand as a gay educator, fighting for the right to teach in his classroom, when parents saw him as a threat to their children. All because people judged who he was and who he was meant to love and share a life with. James Merrick shares is truth and his journey about being judged as a 40 Plus gay man. About James James Merrick lives in Bakersfield, California, with his husband Juan. He Graduated from Fordham University with a PhD in Curriculum and Teaching. In 1999, he won a nationally televised battle to keep students in his classroom. Writing has been an essential part of his professional life. Judge Me, Judge Me Not. is his first memoir. He is currently drafting his first novel. Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus Men's Circle. Learn about about - Click Here! Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies P.S. get your free My Bold Life Manifesto, right here - rickclemons.com/manifesto/ You can also listen to the podcast on…

3 Des 202136min

148: Holiday Prep – No Douche Required – Rick Clemons

148: Holiday Prep – No Douche Required – Rick Clemons

We're coming into the home stretch of the year and it's - HOLIDAY TIME! Don't freak out, don't put pressure on yourself, and please don't try to please everyone. OK, EASIER SAID THAN DONE. However, you can have a peaceful holiday season in your gay life by following a few of these tips, without being or needing a douche! Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus Men's Circle. Learn about about - Click Here! Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies P.S. get your free My Bold Life Manifesto, right here - rickclemons.com/manifesto/ You can also listen to the podcast on…

26 Nov 20218min

147: Killing Your Relationship Expectations – Rick Clemons

147: Killing Your Relationship Expectations – Rick Clemons

You want a man, and you want him to be perfect. Really? Maybe you should be looking in the mirror. For every expectation you put on your man you better be ready to put it on yourself. It's time to stop killing your relationship with expectations that probably are extreme or out of reach. Take a listen and learn how. Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus Men's Circle. Learn about about - Click Here! Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies P.S. get your free My Bold Life Manifesto, right here - rickclemons.com/manifesto/ You can also listen to the podcast on…

19 Nov 202110min

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